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#91 of 107 Old 11-28-2007, 03:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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bella Bear, sorry not to see you earlier.It's been a hard day. The DCF and say and play anyway they wish and I can't fight back. There really isn't a chance of getting her back. Yes, after being all over the map today I decided to still fight to the next level as with this level the person making the descision waited until we had presented, and the state should have as well, and went looking to speak with other people so I never had the chance to face my accusors with the crap they said. I am devastated, made out to be a crazy person because They got to use my own abuse and current physical health against me. Baby won't come home. All I can do is hope to clear my name.

I am not sure any of it matters. Baby has been in crap land so long, needs a pre=adoptive home. I feel like quitting ;ife, I am not real good at it.
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#92 of 107 Old 11-28-2007, 10:54 PM
 
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I just can't imagine why they would take her away from you without you being able to face your accusers. It's soooo not fair.

If you can summon up the energy, can you appeal? I mean, don't they need hard evidence that you did something 'wrong'?

Circ doesn't work! Stop the violence of circumcison. Had another UP/UC/HB in August!
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#93 of 107 Old 11-29-2007, 11:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We have one more appeal we are doing but the reality is she won't be coming home. At this point it is to clear my name as the accusations w/out my ability to confront them have been put in permanent records. yesterday I was called and told we were being investigated yet again for nude bathing with the child. And my spouse taking pictures. There was no nude bathing, my 20ish dd and I wore bathing suits and bathed and played with her in the tub. As for pics my heart breaks as we don't have any. Why didn't we take pics?. I told the investigator that they would NOT have access to dd as anything like this would traumatize her horribly as she has her own history and would NEVER do anything to harm ANYONE, or thing. Anyway, they are trying to force us down and I want to be down, I am dying inside with the accusations against me. I am the person who rescues children out of the road and takes in strays. Here I am accused of horrible things. The child's therapist could easily clear up everything but no one is listening and they are hurting her as well. So the final appeal has to follow a legal pattern, unlike the last one where we had the hearing and the person making the decision solicited additional info from people I had no ability to confront, after the hearing. It's like the hearing was for nothing.

The child's life is over as far as I am concerned as she was attaching to me and ripped apart. She is now a 7 year old with severe attachment disorder and PTSD and in a non-adoptive home with a young, inexperienced robot foster mom. Ask me if she has a chance. I don't believe she is in therapy either. My beautiful daughter. may I know her when she is 16 and runs away from the system. She can run to me. The pain is great and meanwhile my body keeps getting ill again and again.
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#94 of 107 Old 11-29-2007, 08:42 PM
 
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God...that is awful! It sounds like someone is getting their facts wrong and that they are trying to defame you for some reason. :

You said your dd isn't getting therapy, isn't that *bad* that she is not seeing her therapist anymore...how horrible. No wonder you are tearing your hair out, you must feel so helpless. :

Can you still write or call her, or have some contact? I feel so bad for you and her. Is there any way you can talk to this new foster person, or is that a lost cause? Maybe if you could be friends with her at least you could see your dc? That way she would be able to see you again. God, no wonder you feel sick.

How can people do this.... It sounds like they railroaded you for sure. Can you call your congressperson (or even your local state representative, they might be even better) and tell them what has happened? They might be able to do something for you, you never know, especially if there is lying and corruption within this system of theirs. Not sure who your local representative is, they are a 'house member', of congress. They are usually the most accessible as far as politicians go.

Wracking my brains on how I can help you....

Circ doesn't work! Stop the violence of circumcison. Had another UP/UC/HB in August!
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#95 of 107 Old 11-30-2007, 01:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Tammy, there are lies. Ironically, today my child's attorney said that herself. She said that worker lied. At this point attorney is speaking with Gal at attorney is going away for a few weeks. We also have latest appeal. But don't forget that I am a beast. No I can't see her. They won't even let me get her things back to her. I found a few more things of hers and I know how important her things are to her. Worker's supervisor is behind her 100 percent and it is a witch hunt. After all is said and done with attorney then I can go to Governor, don't like him but I can get a private audience. I will go to press. i will make the state of DCF known. My heart hurts so. Especially as I was told she was moved to adoptive placement. I don't know where or with who. However, I called my friend that works at her school and she was there tues. If the young robot is adoptive home I will fight dirty and hard. My baby begged me never to make her go back there when state made me take her there for respite. It hurts. I think I am depressed and on meds anyway, changed recently. Now that I have health insurance again I am seeing about going back on old one again tomorrow.

I am a very nice person. I don't judge, gossip, I try to be helpful and kind. Crap has hit me all of my life. Why?
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#96 of 107 Old 11-30-2007, 11:38 PM
 
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You might like this book, it's called Memoirs of a baby stealer, lesson's I've learned as a foster mother. by Mary Callahan. It sounds like what you are experiencing right now. Apparently it must be extremely common in this country (big surprise, right?).

Also this seems to be a great website on CPS and their evil ways. Not sure if you have seen it? There are legal documents and also tips on winning cases. They also have a chat room (on the left, down the page a bit) and message board. Maybe you can get some good tips, at the very least you can maybe find some support from others who are going thru similar experiences. :

I am so sorry you and your dc are going through this, I can't imagine how you both feel having to deal with this insanity. I hope maybe these links can help, as well as the lawyers. Why can't that worker be grilled in a courtroom...a good lawyer can turn a liar into a quivering weeping jellyfish (yeah, I know jellyfish can't cry, they don't have eyeballs). Perjury is a crime, isn't it....

Just hang in there, go to the top of the mountain and confront those 'people'. They are dark forces that you must do battle with. Be strong. You can drive them back under their rocks.

Sometimes when you look at the world, you see people who get everything easily and don't appreciate it. They have all the money, power, etc and don't act like decent people. There is some lesson here, but it's hard to figure out why these things happen. Sometimes the nicer a person is, the worse things go on. It's how you can deal with the problems is what counts. Don't let them beat you down, focus on appealing your case. God, I hope something works out for you and your dc.

Please keep us updated, pm me if you would like to anytime! I'll try to help with whatever I can.

Circ doesn't work! Stop the violence of circumcison. Had another UP/UC/HB in August!
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#97 of 107 Old 12-03-2007, 06:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Frankly Tammy, no matterhow hard we fight we are not getting her back. At best we will clear my name. She is with someone she begged me not to make her go to when the state pushed respite and made her go there. Now she lives there. I am apalled at the lack of interest from the GAL. I am appalled at the entire process. I know another child will not replace her but I need to adopt a child, MY child. I need to play and celebrate life through a child's eyes. The painis much. I will look for the book at library, Thanks for seeing me through this.
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#98 of 107 Old 12-03-2007, 10:42 PM
 
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I hope you can find the book, maybe try interlibrary loan?

Its so not right, if you get to clear your name, you should be allowed to get her back. Life is so unfair sometimes. I just hope things work out somehow...


Circ doesn't work! Stop the violence of circumcison. Had another UP/UC/HB in August!
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#99 of 107 Old 12-04-2007, 10:53 AM
 
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I wish there was something I could do for you. I hope you're doing okay and getting through this. So sorry.

Michelle
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#100 of 107 Old 12-11-2007, 01:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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There is no way out except questioning yourself to the point where you feel like dying. Feeling like I am crap and have no worth. I am bad, look what has happened to L. It hurts too much at times to live through. But I am still here and she is as well. Probably wondering where we are and why we have not come for her.
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#101 of 107 Old 12-12-2007, 02:13 AM
 
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I didnt read any of the other posts but I just wanted to share:
A family friend of ours tried for years to get pregnant - she really wanted to have at least 2 kids, but wasnt able to so she decided to adopt.
She finally got a beautiful little boy - she was his mom from the day he was born, but when he was 7 months old, there was some sort of issue in the adoption process (the baby's dad's family tried to fight for the baby) and they took him away from her
After another few months, she was lucky enough to be chosen to recive another little girl, 3 months younger than her son.
After having her new daughter for a month, the adoption issue with her son was solved and she got him back!

So after dealing with the pain of loosing him for a while, she ended up with two beautiful children.
She didnt give up with the adoption people and ended up with a perfect little family.
Hope it works out for you!
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#102 of 107 Old 12-22-2007, 09:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Your post is sweet but my baby won't be coming back to me unless the state orders it and that won't happen. It is pure pain. She deserves so much better.
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#103 of 107 Old 01-04-2008, 03:58 PM
 
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Try some homeopathic Ignatia 1M. ONE DOSE ONLY per month. 3-5 pellets= 1dose.

You can order from homeopathyovernight.com

It will ease your grieving process. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts.

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#104 of 107 Old 01-04-2008, 04:24 PM
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I love you and people like you, and will be praying for your daughter to be returned to you where she BELONGS.
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#105 of 107 Old 01-11-2008, 04:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you mamas. I will order the ignatia. Thanks for your thoughtfulness.
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#106 of 107 Old 02-05-2008, 05:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Bad news. We lost second appeal. Our baby is gone. I am sending this to Human Rights Commission. I am in so much pain, both physical and emotional as luck would have it. I am told by the child's therapist (who saw her when she was w/us and well before) that the people who called for latest investigation focused excessively on the accusation that I "breast fed" this then 6 year old. Now the therapist knows better, she tried to explain what was what with that accusation and she also told me it was a really unjust system (child protective services) and that I got screwed and it's better for me to let it go. She stated she had been screwed as well and that she will probably never go back into the field. This is a woman with outstanding training and reputation on dealing with children with attachment disorders. So she is hurt, I am hurt. She says there is so much more to it. Politics and who is sleeping with whom. There is also irony as previously the state had cleared me on all of those lovely accusations. I asked my attorney if she felt legal charges were coming, no word yet. So wouldn't it make sense that if I did this illegal thing that I be charged legally? No, not here, Since I didn't do it they keep digging up bodies to try to back themselves up and stand by each other. The most unprofessional crappy profession ever. What happened to nobility and honesty? What about my little FD who doesn't deserve this S? What about justice? Why am I being persecuted like this? How do I heal? Help me to heal please.
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#107 of 107 Old 02-06-2008, 08:19 AM
 
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i am so sorry mama! this is awful!!
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