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#1 of 107 Old 10-11-2007, 10:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our little girl was with us for 14 months, a legal risk placement of child protective services. Well, she was ready for adoption and the agency yanked her for really stupid reasoning. We lost her just like that. She left us Aug 30th. We are fighting, we have an attorney. Her therapist of 3 years is on our side. She is going to testify at the level one review. They had licensing look at us with a fine tooth comb and find nothing yet they fight to keep her. She is now a seven year old with complex, severe attachment disorder and was attaching to us, me primarily. I cry so much I miss her so. My children are young adults and we wanted to adopt more but without funds to adopt the perfect infant etc. We have a 20 year old through adoption.

I can't stand the pain at times I want to quit. And yet there are so many more out there if the darned people in charge would give them to us!!!
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#2 of 107 Old 10-11-2007, 10:48 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. I hope that you get her back.

, , , mama to Ross , Reagan (8/29/05), Joshua (from Haiti...here NOW due to the earthquake!), and Elijah , born safely 9-8-09.
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#3 of 107 Old 10-11-2007, 11:04 PM
 
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I'm sorry.

knit.gifMama to reading.gif  and  babygirl.gif
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#4 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 12:43 AM
 
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Mama of three.
 
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#5 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 01:08 AM
 
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I am so sorry. That really sucks for her and for you.
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#6 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 01:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by momtomany View Post
I can't stand the pain at times I want to quit. And yet there are so many more out there if the darned people in charge would give them to us!!!
Don't stop fighting, your little girl needs you to help her.

God, what is wrong with those people? It's insane how they do that!

My prayers go out to you and your family, I think it is so wonderful that you adopt!

Circ doesn't work! Stop the violence of circumcison. Had another UP/UC/HB in August!
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#7 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 01:24 AM
 
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#8 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 04:35 AM
 
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Hugs I've been a foster parent in the past and it tears your heart out when they have to leave. Keep fighting for her, sounds like she really needs you.

*formerly apecaut*, Mom to A, Calliope (stillborn 40 weeks 6/22/07), A and O
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#9 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Because she has been with us for so long we have the legal right to contest her removal. We are fighting. The other thing that is painful is that we wanted more placements for legal risk and this agency will not do it now that we have fought them. There are lies and just plain behavior without conscience on their part. I still don't get in my little brain how people lie and act without conscience. We lost a foster child who had been with us for 12 years in 1999 through death. She was very disabled. She was an adult when she died. It took a long time to let go of the could haves, should haves. She was more ours at that point then my youngest home grown child. I wonder when I will learn?

I am too old to have children and though we wanted more it wasn't to be. But what about my 7 year old and all of the babes out there who need permanent care. My heart cries out. I look at my daughter's tree, the one who died in 1999, it is big and beautiful, like a message to continue, to fight, to care and not give up.

Somehow that helps with the pain. I am tired of losing children. They belong to all of us and we need all care and love them.
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#10 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 03:49 PM
 
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I hope it works out for you, momma. You're so brave!
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#11 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 07:07 PM
 
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It is people like you that make this world a better place! Can you try another agency if you wish to adopt other kids? There are so many foster kids out there that need a loving home and parents.

Circ doesn't work! Stop the violence of circumcison. Had another UP/UC/HB in August!
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#12 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 09:29 PM
 
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My heart goes out to you, and your poor little girl who needs you, and am angry at the system that jerks our neediest children around. I'm praying she comes back to you soon.
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#13 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 09:56 PM
 
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I am so sorry. I hope you get her back.
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#14 of 107 Old 10-12-2007, 11:27 PM
 
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Aw mama, that's awful......no child should lose their mother. Get her back! Wishing you strength on this rough part of the journey.

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#15 of 107 Old 10-13-2007, 03:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by momtomany View Post
Somehow that helps with the pain. I am tired of losing children. They belong to all of us and we need all care and love them.
Look at that tree and know what a difference you made in her life. Fostering is such a difficult, painful thing to do. But, remember, that you never lose those children even when they leave your care. They will ALWAYS remember you, the adult they become was in part because of your kindness.

I really, really hate when people use children as a punishment. You aren't doing what the agency wants so they aren't placing anymore kids with you. Crazy people.:

*formerly apecaut*, Mom to A, Calliope (stillborn 40 weeks 6/22/07), A and O
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#16 of 107 Old 10-13-2007, 06:14 AM
 
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I'm sorry for your loss. Fostering can be a very difficult and heart-wrenching journey, but I'm so grateful for people like you who open up their arms and their doors to take in children in their time of need. I'm not quite sure I understand though, so your daughter was given back to her biological parents, or the agency decided to place her elsewhere? Whatever it is, I hope you all turns out for the best for you and this precious child.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#17 of 107 Old 10-14-2007, 12:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Baby girl was supposed to be ours once freed for adoption. And she was freed. I was at a meeting with a bunch of cps workers and since hubby was working I brought a friend, long and complicated stuff but the so called professionals were abusive and I filed a complaint. 6 days later my baby was taken. It hurts so bad and out refinance was turned down so how to even pay the attorney. I am lost without her. My home should be filled with her and lots of kids. What are our 5 bedrooms for? I want to care for the kids who are so damaged that no one wants them. Damaged goods, like me. My baby loves me, what is going through her little head? The people at the agency are being really non-compliant with our attorney though their director told them what to do before he left for vacation they don't want to give attorney the file. Our first appeal date is the 19th and I am going to need some gorilla glue to keep my mouth closed and some major herbs to be able to just sit through their nonsense. Weird that we are fighting for this child with such a disturbed heart but they want power and hate to be challenged.

And so many more. Please all reach out to the great spirit and send energy my way to keep my baby and to have other babes come to me to love and dress and feed and bathe and rock and read to and rock and sing to. My heart hurts.

You are all so kind. There is nothing special here except I was a damaged good and I will love them all that I can because I know what it feels like. My baby, almost 20 has had the children's books read to her and been loved and tucked in and is ready for tomorrow to go back to college. And darned if we haven't made enough organic applesauce for her in the freezer to last her the winter. That is her favorite food.

Please wish me peace above everything. Thanks all.
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#18 of 107 Old 10-14-2007, 07:43 PM
 
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Wow, it sounds like this agency might have some unethical practices from what you describe. How awful! I'm hoping that you are able to win that appeal and your little girl comes home soon.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#19 of 107 Old 10-15-2007, 12:30 AM
 
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I'm so sorry momma. I hope you get your sweet girl back soon.
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#20 of 107 Old 10-15-2007, 12:48 AM
 
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#21 of 107 Old 10-15-2007, 02:42 AM
 
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I'm apalled to read what they did to you; to your family; and to her!! What the h*ll is wrong with them!!?? They can't just take a child to spite someone! It's not about YOU, it's about HER. They've got their heads on backwards. Keep fighting....she needs you!

WARNING: The comments and opinions expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of the community in which I reside; or those of the internet parenting network.
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#22 of 107 Old 10-15-2007, 11:16 AM
 
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My heart aches for that little girl and you!

To my husband I am wife, to my kids I am mother, but for myself I am just me.
we're : with and : and
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#23 of 107 Old 10-15-2007, 12:13 PM
 
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They can't just take a child to spite someone!

Yeah they can, and they do. There's a reason we quit fostering.
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#24 of 107 Old 10-15-2007, 10:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You guys all have it right! I am working and trying hard to get her back. The crying is hard, the grief is torture. you ladies are wonderful Your support is valuable to me. Thanks for helping and please keep it coming. The foster care industry is wrought with egos and unethical people. What about the babies?
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#25 of 107 Old 10-16-2007, 12:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by momtomany View Post
You guys all have it right! I am working and trying hard to get her back. The crying is hard, the grief is torture. you ladies are wonderful Your support is valuable to me. Thanks for helping and please keep it coming. The foster care industry is wrought with egos and unethical people. What about the babies?
hey mama
If you have homeopathic Ignatia on hand, take one dose of 30C at bedtime and one 12 hours later. That should help you through your grieving process. "hugs"

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#26 of 107 Old 10-16-2007, 12:56 PM
 
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You are such a strong mama. I hope she's back in your arms very soon
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#27 of 107 Old 10-19-2007, 09:48 PM
 
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I hope you get to see your sweet girl again soon

Reneé, 33 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 nocirc.gif and Arianna 9/06 gd.gif angel1.gifangel1.gif (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 blowkiss.gif.  TTC a little rainbow rainbow1284.gifchartnew.gif http://www.FertilityFriend.com/home/4e4ac9 Currently in the 2WW 
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#28 of 107 Old 10-20-2007, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The level one hearing is Oct 25th, 2 months after we have lost her and we have not seen her. If we fail at this level we go to the commishioner. I need my baby back. I hate this system and yet am dependent on them for children. I am supposed to act like a woman without a brain when I am with them. Instead of like her Mamma.
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#29 of 107 Old 10-24-2007, 10:19 PM
 
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I'm so sorry, mama.

I'm praying that things will turn out well for you.
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#30 of 107 Old 10-30-2007, 03:19 AM
 
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(((HUGS))) I was thinking about you and wondered how the hearing went?
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