My cousin is living my worst fear - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 10-30-2007, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And I can't figure out how to help. My cousin's dh was found unconsious the other day. After several days, there was no improvement and there were no signs of what was wrong. He is now only alive via ventillator, which they will not be keeping him on. They have a five year old who is loosing daddy I hurt so badly for her knowing that she has to go through that pain. I want to do something to help them, but I don't know what. I am sitting here crying for someone that I hardly knew, but who hardly got a chance at life. He is so young. I have even thought of trying to find a good children's book that can help make sense of things, but the list of books didn't note anything as being specific to suddenly loosing a parent. I need to figure out how to deal with my own feelings as well as what I can do to at least lend a caring heart.
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#2 of 10 Old 10-30-2007, 02:38 PM
 
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How awful! I am so sorry for you and your cousin and her family.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

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#3 of 10 Old 10-30-2007, 04:01 PM
 
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Goodness how awful. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
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#4 of 10 Old 10-30-2007, 05:41 PM
 
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Strength & peace & love to your Family...
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#5 of 10 Old 10-30-2007, 05:41 PM
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Originally Posted by mommystinch View Post
And I can't figure out how to help. My cousin's dh was found unconsious the other day. After several days, there was no improvement and there were no signs of what was wrong. He is now only alive via ventillator, which they will not be keeping him on. They have a five year old who is loosing daddy I hurt so badly for her knowing that she has to go through that pain. I want to do something to help them, but I don't know what.
This may sound silly, but clean her house. I had a firend lose her twin boys at 20 weeks. While she was at the hospital giving birth we (her friends) went to her home and cleaned every inch of it. Did all her laundry and scrubed her kitchen. The last thing she needs to do now is take care of her physical home. She needs to take care of her family. Cooking is also great. I found it very helpful for me as well. We all cried as we cleaned, but we got out our bad feelings and felt like we had done some good.


Sorry *hugs*
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#6 of 10 Old 10-30-2007, 06:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This may sound silly, but clean her house. I
had a firend lose her twin boys at 20 weeks. While she was at the hospital giving birth we (her friends) went to her home and cleaned every inch of it. Did all her laundry and scrubed her kitchen. The last thing she needs to do now is take care of her physical home. She needs to take care of her family. Cooking is also great. I found it very helpful for me as well. We all cried as we cleaned, but we got out our bad feelings and felt like we had done some good.


Sorry *hugs*
Thank you for the idea. I am going to see what I have and do some cooking tonight to start with. That will certainly give them one less thing to think about.

Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers. This is so hard to wrap my mind around.
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#7 of 10 Old 10-30-2007, 10:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toby_99833 View Post
This may sound silly, but clean her house. I had a firend lose her twin boys at 20 weeks. While she was at the hospital giving birth we (her friends) went to her home and cleaned every inch of it. Did all her laundry and scrubed her kitchen. The last thing she needs to do now is take care of her physical home. She needs to take care of her family. Cooking is also great. I found it very helpful for me as well. We all cried as we cleaned, but we got out our bad feelings and felt like we had done some good.


Sorry *hugs*
great idea... someone did this for me after my son and i had a traumatic birth experience. best gift i got.
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#8 of 10 Old 10-30-2007, 10:05 PM
 
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Preparing something for the freezer works well - something that could be cooked now, or kept in the freezer until needed and cooked then. They may have people bringing food over now and have an abundance of food for "now". "Later" may be different.

I also like the cleaning the house idea. (But never, EVER mention how dirty anything was.)

Ann-Marita. I deleted my usual signature due to, oh, wait, if I say why, that might give too much away. 

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#9 of 10 Old 10-30-2007, 10:05 PM
 
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Cleaning is a great idea. And the dropping off of food - meals are the last thing she needs to be thinking about, and yet she and her son need to eat. Drop off frozen meals, ask for community donations from pizza places, etc . .. .

I am so, so sorry she and your family are going through this.
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#10 of 10 Old 10-31-2007, 11:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I took over a basket of food today, along with a nice organic cotton animal for her daughter.

I'm going to keep the cleaning idea in mind in case I can make that work. Right now, she is staying with her parents and it looks like she will have to move back in for good because of finances.
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