Trying to cope...unsuccessfully - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-14-2008, 11:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I recently lost a very dear friend and am trying desperately to move on with my life, but the harder I try, the more depressed I find myself getting. I have never felt such desperation in my heart like this. She was my closest friend though we had not been friends for very long. It was a fast friendship built on lots of similarities and common life experiences at the moment, mostly pregnancy, breastfeeding, and motherhood in general. She was the person I turned to when I needed to talk about anything and apparently everything...something I am realizing more and more every day. My family all thought her passing was horrible, but seems to have moved on. No one gets it. No one understands. I didn't talk much about our friendship or just how close it was. We didn't talk on the phone much or meet up often because of busy schedules, pregnancies, and children, but we emailed constantly and did occasionally pick up the phone.

I miss her so much. I feel like a part of me has died too. I feel so alone and trapped with my problems. I have no one to turn to and no one to ask for honest advice like she would give. No one that is as honest and non-judgemental...no one. I don't know how to get past this, how to move on. I am so unbelievably sad. Her birthday is on Friday and I am just so incredibly sad. If any of you have any advice, I would really appreciate it. I know a lot of you were friends with mighty-mama too.

Peace and love to all of you tonight. :

Jessica - I my guys!! DH Marty (4-22-06) DS Marty (7-2-07) DS Anderson (4-12-10)
Mighty-Mama
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#2 of 4 Old 01-15-2008, 05:02 AM
 
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Take a moment and stop moving on. Just allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. You aren't ready to move on yet and that is why you are finding it so difficult.

Take things a day at a time. Just because she died, doesn't mean you have to stop emailing her. When my Gran died earliere this year, I felt so alone and scared. I knew she was dead but I still phoned her house, I even left a message on the answering machine. It made me feel a bit better. I would still be calling if it weren't for the fact that the number now doesn't exist so I just get an automated message. Instead I imagine what she would say to me.

After my Grand dad and brother died, I found it really difficult, but I learnt from their deaths how to grieve so when my Gran died, I just let my self go with it andit was so much easier to not fight against the current and it really helped me this time around.

Many hugs to you........
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#3 of 4 Old 01-15-2008, 07:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tireesix View Post
Take a moment and stop moving on. Just allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. You aren't ready to move on yet and that is why you are finding it so difficult.

Take things a day at a time. Just because she died, doesn't mean you have to stop emailing her. When my Gran died earliere this year, I felt so alone and scared. I knew she was dead but I still phoned her house, I even left a message on the answering machine. It made me feel a bit better. I would still be calling if it weren't for the fact that the number now doesn't exist so I just get an automated message. Instead I imagine what she would say to me.

After my Grand dad and brother died, I found it really difficult, but I learnt from their deaths how to grieve so when my Gran died, I just let my self go with it andit was so much easier to not fight against the current and it really helped me this time around.

Many hugs to you........
I agree. I used to call my mom's phone just to listen to her voice mail message (on the cell before it got shut off) I say dive in head first instead of trying to swim away.

A friend who you can count on ... is a very hard thing to find indeed... and much deserved of being grieved.

Mom to DD born 1989 DS born 1993 and grandma to
DGS born 2005
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#4 of 4 Old 01-16-2008, 11:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you both. I think you're right. I just need to provide myself with the time and space to let myself feel the pain and let her go.

I really appreciate your help...love to you both.

Jessica - I my guys!! DH Marty (4-22-06) DS Marty (7-2-07) DS Anderson (4-12-10)
Mighty-Mama
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