Five years - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 04:22 PM
 
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I am so sorry!

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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#62 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 04:32 PM
 
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I wish there was something I could say to make it better, but obviously I can't. I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing more about her.
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#63 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 04:44 PM
 
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im so sorry. i cant even imagine.

Mama to Amelia - age 6

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#64 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 05:03 PM
 
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#65 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 05:14 PM
 
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I'm so, so sorry for your loss
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#66 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 05:15 PM
 
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I can't even imagine...I'm so sorry. And thank you for sharing.
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#67 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 05:20 PM
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You're so right when you say the pain does not go away; you only learn to live with it. I wish your burden were lighter. Sending hugs to you and family
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#68 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 05:38 PM
 
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Thank you for sharing her with us

LP
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#69 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 05:41 PM
 
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So many hugs to you.

I loved reading your memories of her.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
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#70 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 06:55 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing those stories w/ us. I can just picture a little girl w/ her wagon going to her neighbors door selling rocks. Too cute! I know I'd by the rocks too if she came to my door.

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#71 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 07:06 PM
 
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Have you ever read this letter by Ram Dass that he wrote to someone whose daughter was murdered? Its the only thing I've ever read dealing with the loss of a child that seemed to contain even a shred of comfort. Sending much love to you...

Dear Steve and Anita,

Rachel finished her work on earth, and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts, as the fragile thread of our faith is dealt with so violently. Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teaching as you are receiving? Probably very few. And even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief, horror and desolation.

I can't assuage your pain with any words, nor should I. For your pain is Rachel's legacy to you. Not that she or I would inflict such pain by choice, but there it is. And it must burn its purifying way to completion. For something in you dies when you bear the unbearable, and it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees, and to love as God loves.

Now is the time to let your grief find expression. No false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to Rachel, and thank her for being with you these few years, and encourage her to go on with whatever her work is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience.

In my heart, I know that you and she will meet again and again, and recognize the many ways in which you have known each other. And when you meet you will know, in a flash, what now it is not given to you to know: Why this had to be the way it was.

Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts– if we can keep them open to God – will find their own intuitive way. Rachel came through you to do her work on earth, which includes her manner of death. Now her soul is free, and the love that you can share with her is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space. In that deep love, include me.

In love,

Ram Dass

"We shape the clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want" Lao Tzu
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#72 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 07:23 PM
 
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I can't imagine your pain DragonflyBlue. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your memories with us...

Anika

Mama to Finn (04/05) Arlo (04/07) and Henry (04/10)
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#73 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 07:43 PM
 
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For Marissa

Love to you.
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#74 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 08:07 PM
 
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I'm so sorry mama. for your DD.
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#75 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 08:43 PM
 
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I am so very sorry.

Love and light to you.
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#76 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 08:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DragonflyBlue View Post
One of my biggest fears is getting old and forgetting her... As much as it hurts, I don't ever want to forget...
I had no idea what I was going to say until I read that. You will never forget her. You won't. Even if there are details that fade, she is flesh of your flesh, born of your heart and soul. Mothers and their children are knit together in ways that time cannot possibly undo. It's why you're hurting right now as much as you were five years ago, but it's also why she is bound to you and will always be.

Lighting a candle for your beautiful daughter tonight, with trust that she is waiting for you in a place of peace.



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#77 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 08:53 PM
 
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I am so so so so sorry

~Shannon~ Proud Mama of 3 girls, ages 7,4, and 2.
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#78 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 08:53 PM
 
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Oh sweetie, I am so, so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug in person.

Formerly New Mama to Henry, born August 2005 and Silas, born November 2010.
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#79 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 09:38 PM
 
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s So, so sorry momma

Take care of you,
Tara

Tara Momma to Callum and Gavin
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#80 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 09:52 PM
 
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I feel very honored that you shared the story of her with us. I am so sorry she is gone. Please, share stories of her any time you feel like it.
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#81 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 10:00 PM
 
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I am so very sorry.

Have you though of writing down things, even on index cards, as they go past your mind? You will never forget, but it is a real and actual concern which might make the grief sharper. If you take some time to write about her, and your memories, could that help?
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#82 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 10:11 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry for your loss...
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#83 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 11:45 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss.
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#84 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 11:51 PM
 
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Your memories of her are so touching. I am glad you found a safe place to share them and people who really care about your hurt and loss.

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#85 of 109 Old 01-27-2008, 11:53 PM
 
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#86 of 109 Old 01-28-2008, 12:32 AM
 
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I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
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#87 of 109 Old 01-28-2008, 12:42 AM
 
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Oh, DB. I understand a bit more now when you said this morning that you couldn't sleep, and needed something to keep your mind occupied.

Because of you, and sharing your thoughts and memories of Marrissa here, she has become a part of my circle. Someone I think of, even though I never met her. Isn't that a powerful thing? The memories you shared of her are so special, and the things that made her a unique individual. You won't forget her. Those memories are your treasure from her.

Wishing you peace and solace today.

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#88 of 109 Old 01-28-2008, 01:01 AM
 
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I am so sorry. I can only imagine what you feel and it is unthinkable.

My sister lost her son after he was born prematurely and lived for one week. She's plagued by a lot of should have beens as well. I'm seeing how she's going through that thinking too. My sister read somewhere, "He is everywhere he will never be." It gives her some comfort to think that, and is a reminder of her unbelievable loss.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Crunchy check list:  2 homebirths (one accidental UC!), co-slept, no CIO, cloth diapers, home/un school, raw milk drinker (!) I am a walking cliche!! I even blog and knit...
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#89 of 109 Old 01-28-2008, 01:20 AM
 
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I am very sorry for you loss, i had a friend who commit suicide and i understand a little bit. I could never imagine lossing a child. I am very sorry and i cried while reading your post.
Maybe make a picture collage of her that you can look at and remember her.
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#90 of 109 Old 01-28-2008, 11:27 AM
 
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So sorry for your loss, mama. Sending you healing.

I don't come here anymore. MDC has become overgrown with ads & useless extra forums.
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