It's just something that you have to do. My son died April 22, 2001 and left behind a twin brother. I've also had two daughters since then. There are times that I feel the panic trying to set in but I just have to force myself to ignore it. Worrying isn't going to change anything and I don't want to ruin the time that I do have with them, KWIM? We could all go at any time, it's just a fact of life.