9yr old emotional about death this morning - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 02-23-2008, 02:08 PM - Thread Starter
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I was needing some help this morning with my 9 yr. old heart baby. He is very emotional and is worried he is going to die. What do I say? I have explained to him that God takes care of us and knows what's best for all of us and to place that worry back in God's hands where it belongs. He worries he won't see mama and his siblings anymore. He is so emotional what can I say or do? Brief history of him: He is a heart baby so knows that life is preciouse. He experiences very fast heart rate at times and he has learned through the years that he feels a certain way just prior to his rapid heart rate and he is feeling that way this morning. This is why he is worried something will go wrong and they won't be able to make his heart stop going fast. Any words or ideas for me to tell him? Thanks mama's

I cross posted this into the tribal area hope that is okay?
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#2 of 7 Old 02-23-2008, 03:06 PM
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Poor baby! I don't have any knowledge about this really. The only thing I can say, which I'm sure you already do, is be sure not to dismiss or laugh off his fear. Even a trivial nightmare about green monsters (I know, not a good comparison to his very realistic fear) can be traumatic to a child. He needs to know you are listening and you care. I would say lots of prayer followed by distraction is probably what we go for. I don't know about heart conditions, but I know anxiety can cause increased heart rate also, so if it's possible to help him be calm, that might play a small factor in keeping the heart rate down. Good luck to both of you and I hope he feels better!!

"I'm so crafty, I make people" DD (01/06) and her much anticipated sibling (07/10) with my sweet DH (07/02)
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#3 of 7 Old 02-23-2008, 03:50 PM
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for your baby

Death is a scary prospect for adults, I can't even imagine thinking about my own death so young. Be there for him, listen and let him get it out and I agree with the distraction if possible.

You are there for him, and let him know that no matter what happens, that will NEVER change!

Kara, Chad, dd L(5) and ds E(3) and expecting baby E on Valetine's Day grouphug.gif~We are a home-birthing, baby-wearing, home-made, co-sleeping, no-vax, crafting(both of items and of magick!), green living and loving family in Southern NH

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#4 of 7 Old 02-23-2008, 04:44 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks everyone! Lot's of hugs isn't working so we are going to get out for awhile. He had another melt if you wanta call it that. This is very really and emotional to the both of us. I called his counselor this morning to see if he had any ideas but nothing really that I hadn't already did (lot's of comfort and trying to keep him calm ~ as another poster put it to keep the hr down I just don't know what else to tell the little guy. He just keeps on about he will miss us so and will never see us again. I tell him he will only remember good things in heaven. Still not working to good so we are outa here for awhile. Maybe getting out will help some temporarily anyway.
Thanks mama's!
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#5 of 7 Old 02-23-2008, 05:29 PM
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Your little guy may be experiencing a physiological response related to his condition. Often times, people with cardiac issues have a sense of impending doom in connection with a heart event, even one as mild as a murmur.
I wonder if he'd benefit from Rescue Remedy or some other naturopathic treatment that aims to calm and reassure?

I had a patient (I'm a paramedic) this morning who had had multiple heart surgeries from the time he was a little boy ... his pacemaker was acting up , and while he knew it was a minor complication, he was nonetheless gripped with panic and fear. He had a special breathing technique he used that a counsellor had taught him when he was about your guy's age ... it's yogic, I think.

All the best mama, to you and your heart kiddo.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#6 of 7 Old 02-24-2008, 01:06 AM
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Have you read Happiness Is a Choice? http://www.option.org/library/happiness/
It's by Barry Neil Kaufman. In it he describes one of many episodes his dd experiences with similar symptoms. In this one, though, she starts to learn to calm her heart. It's very exciting and empowering. The whole book is awesome for anyone dealing with a chronic condition. I have arthritis and chronic pain and DH has fibromyalgia. We both find this book to be wonderfully helpful in staying in a positive state when our bodies are going wacko

ETA: Does he have contact with other kids who are sick? As a kid, I don't know if I could have heard an adult about this, KWIM?
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#7 of 7 Old 02-25-2008, 03:40 AM - Thread Starter
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He does not have others with a condition like his. I once had a email buddy that we were going to try to get up the two of them but she had a little girl and I don't know how well they would have related anyway. I need to find him a pen pal or email pal but it seems to be hard to do. I run into dead ends everytime. I have even called his dr's office and requested for patients they have that is his age to give our contact to them, but nothing has worked out yet. Maybe I will post for a email pal on the hear tribe. I haven't tried that yet. Thanks for the idea again. I want him to have that I think it is important.
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