Starting to forget my grandpa - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-06-2008, 05:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Never mind. Kind of blows when I have over 60 views and one reply. :
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:43 PM
 
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Old 09-16-2008, 10:02 PM
 
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Hey, it's okay, look at all the threads. They all have tons more views than replies.

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Old 09-17-2008, 06:31 PM
 
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I didn't read your original thread, but I understand the pain of beginning to forget someone. My aunt died nearly five years ago (the anniversary is in three days) and I often feel like the only things I can remember in detail are after she got sick.
to you. I think sometimes people just don't know what to write and thus don't write anything in response to threads (especially in the grief and loss section).

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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Old 09-18-2008, 04:43 AM
 
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Old 09-18-2008, 04:54 AM
 
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I didn't read your original post either, but so many times people don't know what to say so they say nothing. Our society does a really poor job of teaching people how to respond to the grief of other people.

I am pretty good at remembering my parents and grandparents and other people I've lost - except for voices. I seem to forget those easier than other memories.

Can you go to a place you'd been with your grampa? Do you have his voice recorded anywhere? I think a good part of my continued memories are because I tell my friends and my kids stories about my parents - and it keeps those memories fresh if that makes any sense.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:14 PM
 
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I am so sorry I missed your original thread, please know that there is support here for you.

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:19 PM
 
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this forum is kinda slow going at times

I like to visit www.beyondindigo.com daily though! there is alot of good grief support there. no matter what your situation is.

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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Old 10-18-2008, 02:44 AM
 
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Old 10-18-2008, 06:11 PM
 
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I did not read your original post so i probbly can't be of much help,
but i just wanted to leave a reply to let you know i'm here if you need to talk,
my grandpa died when i was pregnant with dd & he would so have loved to see her, i know it probably doesn't compare to whatever you are going through in any way, but i'm here, & so are lots of other people.
I'm sorry many looked & didn't leave a reply, but sometimes people are scared of saying something because they fear they might say the wrong thing.
I know i am. ( i try to leave a hug if i don't know what to say, but sometimes that's just patronizing & doesn't do anyone any good. as i didn't read your post i wouldn't know sorry )
:
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Old 10-20-2008, 05:20 AM
 
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I didn't read the original post, so I'm sorry if what I say doesn't apply.
My paternal grandmother died when I was 8, and it was one of the saddest moments of my life when I realised (when I was in my mid-teens) that I was forgetting her. There wasn't much I could do to try to revive my memories (my parents didn't keep many of her possessions, I didn't see her often so didn't have many memories ...) - but I tried anyway, and although I can't remember as much as I would like, I can still remember the most important things.

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Old 10-20-2008, 06:27 AM
 
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I am sorry that this part of grieving hurts. I forget many things about my parents and siblings all the time and have felt so guilty at times, but finally came to terms that it is part of the process in moving forward.

now knowing this and having the experience of losing my husband 2 years and 9 months ago I have opted to handle things at a slower released pace for myself and my children. Unlike many, the things that are personal and meaningful to me I have kept for a long time and am only giving them away now as my heart permits.

Those times that are special about your loved one can be shared, the sharing keeps them alive in your heart and will bring you comfort.

MB, mama to three, soulmate to one, pioneering cloth to many since 2002!
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Old 11-12-2008, 11:44 AM
 
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I clicked on this post because I am begining to feel the same way. I lost my Pappa in 2001 and Mamma in 2002. I cry somtimes because I feel like I am forgetting them. It kills me inside because they are the ones that raised me for the most part!

PM me if you want to talk!
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Old 11-14-2008, 12:06 PM
 
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yes you may feel you are forgetting your gpa. but you never, never do. EVER!!!!

you may not remember his smile. or what he looked like. or how his hair curls at teh back.

all teh details get fuzzy. you cant remember the timeline.

but u remember your precious stories. you will never forget the warm fuzzies you feel when you think of him.

my summer vacations with my gpa were the happiest memory of my childhood. ah i can tell you so many stories of how he showed his love for me and connected with me.

i honour him by doing the same with my dd. remembering the things he did to me i do with my dd. how he sat with me and chatted with me while i ate a late lunch after i came home from schoool, when he was visiting. how he would make us something and feed us iwth his own hands.

and i talk to my dd a lot about him. i build altars during the day of the dead though i am not from mexico and my dd and i put all our people there.

whenever i want to 'go' to a happy place in my deepest darkest hour i go to my gpa and his farm.


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Old 11-15-2008, 06:49 PM
 
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My grandfather was hugely important in my life. He died when I was 21. I can close my eyes, think about him, take a deep breath, and still smell his aftershave. I love doing that. Luckily, I have a little boy who I named after him. I think that helps keep me connected. I'm sure there are many details that I don't remember, but I try to think of him often.
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