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Old 10-23-2009, 09:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello.

It's been a while, hasn't it.

I'm ... the same. I'm still alive.

Things are very hard. His birthday this year was simply awful.

We've been lucky to have friends and family around us who are willing to do everything, or nothing (if that's what we need) to keep us together.

It's still raw, I'm not gonna lie to you.

The lawsuit isn't moving forward, due to not being able to locate an expert witness who is willing to testify to quality-of-life issues. In my state, for a wrongful death/med mal case, you must prove both breach of standard of care and quality of life post-error. We have a slew of docs who will testify that SOC was breached and error was clearly committed, but no one will say on the record that Lucas would have had any appreciable life expectancy had the error not taken place. This is not because of the medical reality of the case, rather it's because no one's ever published a case study of a patient as young as Lucas was with the (very rare) type of tumor he had. So there's no backing literature and thus no witness.

I'm resigned to it. I'm sure the neurosurgeon will publish the case as soon as the statute of limitations runs out in April.

DH and I are struggling. It's not easy. We're both pretty damaged people, and it's nearly impossible to support one another when we're both falling apart. But we're trying.

I just wanted to check in. I haven't been here in a long, long time; it just hasn't felt right. Thank you so, so much, all of you with your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. It means the world.

-katie
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Old 10-23-2009, 09:57 PM
 
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Hoping you and your dh are as okay as you can be.
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Old 10-23-2009, 10:13 PM
 
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Hi mama, it is good to see you around here again. Thanks for the update.

I hope you can heal as much as you can in time.


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Old 10-23-2009, 11:01 PM
 
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We're glad you stopped by. Neither you nor your son are forgotten here, not at all. The lawsuit stuff sounds awful, if only for the fact that there's no closure with that. Please take care of yourself.

mama of DS(3) & DD(2)
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Old 10-24-2009, 01:31 AM
 
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Sending you heaps of strength. I think of you and your sweet boy often.

-Angela
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Old 10-24-2009, 05:57 PM
 
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Was just wondering about you the other day, Katie. I'm so sorry for everything you've had to endure. You're on my mind often....

So many hugs to you and your DH.

)O(   Far-away Mama to: Pooka (16)...Alex (14)...Mickie-Lamb (13)...Solo Mama to: Punkin' Seed (8)...Tootsie Pop (6)...Lil' Man (3) and a yikes2.gif due February 2012

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Old 10-30-2009, 03:46 PM
 
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I came here today especially to look for you. I think of you often, and remember the cute pictures of Lucas you used to have in your signature. Please know that I'm continuing to hold you and your dh tightly in my heart.

A happy woman
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Old 10-30-2009, 11:43 PM
 
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I think about you guys often a well. A million s being sent your way mama.
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Old 10-31-2009, 02:31 AM
 
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I think of you so often...sending lots of love....

Kier: wife to Jared, mama to Emma ('05), Savannah ('07), and our newest little love Reid (June 30, '09) -intact because of all of YOU! I had an ecstatic birth, at home in the water!
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Old 11-01-2009, 04:13 AM
 
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I think of you often and am glad to see a post from you. I'm sorry it's less than positive. I'm sorry you and hubby are on this very difficult road. remember you have friends who are going down that road. toughest 1 1/2 years of my life. and the birthday was very hard on me too.

huge huge very empathetic (wish they were irl) hugs from me to you.

wife since 1992; mom to: J 7-95; H 5-98; C 2-03; S 4-05; Micah Zachary born still UC 4-08; UM 9-08; due June 2010
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Old 11-16-2009, 01:26 AM
 
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Old 11-19-2009, 10:17 AM
 
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:48 PM
 
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Leslie, mom to John :, 02/25/06
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Old 11-20-2009, 09:22 PM
 
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Wish you peace and and lots of courage.

Cheerfulness enables us to remember no problem lasts forever ~ Unknown
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Old 11-21-2009, 11:41 PM
 
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i'm so glad to see an update from you.

i'm so sorry it's not going very well. i still think of you and lucas often. more often than i'd like to admit since i'm really just a stranger on the internet, but your story and his story touched me deeply, i am confident that i will think of you and your family for the rest of my life. which is only to say, i will be praying for you to find peace for a long time.

eh. who needs a signature?
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Old 11-21-2009, 11:50 PM
 
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Sending big, big your way... You've been through so much, more than I can fathom. I pray you and your husband find the peace you need and deserve soon...

Traditional Catholic, aspiring to everyday sanctity. Mama to two amazing girls. Wife to my best friend.
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Old 11-22-2009, 10:52 PM
 
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Old 11-28-2009, 04:14 AM
 
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Thank you for updating us, Katie. You & Lucas weigh on my heart and mind often, and I continue to think about you & send good thoughts your way. I know it will always be hard and it will always feel wrong, but I hope your journey gets easier as time goes on.
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Old 11-30-2009, 12:05 AM
 
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, , , , , to DD1 (4.5 years old) and DD2 (7 months) and 2
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Old 12-30-2009, 08:56 PM
 
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:28 PM
 
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I came here today looking for you and am so glad to see a new post. We are still here for you, always, and any time you want to check in I know there are many people eager to connect with you and send their support.

I think you are one of the best mama's on the planet, because you are being honest, and sharing this part of your journey with us, even though it is a painful and horrible--you are keeping people connected to it, keeping it real, and that is a million times harder to do when you are in so much pain. But you are doing it--thank you so much for letting us be part of your journey.

I am so sorry for the pain you felt on Lucas' birthday

Mother is the word for God on the hearts and lips of all little children--William Makepeace Thackeray
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Old 01-17-2010, 06:53 PM
 
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All I can tell you it that it will get easier over time. I still feel so sorry for myself at times and lament the fact that it happened to me and no one else around me had to lose their child (which is not true as I have learned over the past three years).
My son could not be saved and no one could even tell me what caused his brain to bleed so bad (I think it was vaccines).
I just wanted to say that now, three years later I can look at his face in a picture and smile at him. I can understand and feel that through his death I became a better person. I am not afraid of dying anymore and I have a better understanding of death and dying. I can feel with you, really understand you and be a help to others.
I know that when the pain is so fresh and you have got even more bad things to deal with this seems so not possible for you.
I am from Austria and I know that the same health care is cheaper in other places. Would it be possible for you to have the procedure done in another country?
I am sending my thoughts, my strength and my love to you.

Barbara, mom of Isabel (2004), Jake (8/27/2006 to 3/7/2007), Noah (2008)

Barbara, Mama to Isabel (06/2004), Jake (08/2006-03/2007), Noah (01/2008), and Matteo (07/2011) 
Please always research the safety of vaccines even if your doctor tells you they are harmless! novaxnocirc.gif

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Old 02-20-2010, 06:30 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PlayaMama View Post
i'm so glad to see an update from you.

i'm so sorry it's not going very well. i still think of you and lucas often. more often than i'd like to admit since i'm really just a stranger on the internet, but your story and his story touched me deeply, i am confident that i will think of you and your family for the rest of my life. which is only to say, i will be praying for you to find peace for a long time.
Ditto. I couldn't have said this any better. I feel the same. My heart breaks for you and all that you've endured.

 

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Old 03-02-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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ktbug, we'd love to have another update HOpe you and yours are better.

wife since 1992; mom to: J 7-95; H 5-98; C 2-03; S 4-05; Micah Zachary born still UC 4-08; UM 9-08; due June 2010
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:20 PM
 
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thinking of you mama...
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Old 03-16-2010, 03:00 AM
 
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Still thinking of you and your beautiful boy.
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Old 03-16-2010, 06:40 AM
 
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