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sensitive 3yo and gym childcare OR in-home mom's helper?

409 views 3 replies 4 participants last post by  NicaG 
#1 ·
My 3yo dd has never been watched by anyone other than my parents. Now that we live several hundred miles away, she's with me 98% of the time and very occasionally alone with dh while I go out by myself. I am BURNED OUT. I've been toying with the idea of joining the super-fancy gym at dh's work so that I can make exercising into a treat for myself (which I think would bring huge physical and emotional benefits), but I'm nervous about leaving dd in the gym childcare. Don't get me wrong- it looks very nice and the staff is consistent and they only accept a very reasonable ratio of kids to staff. I just worry about dd's first experience with babysitters per se being with people that none of us know well-- I don't want her to think that A) we would trust just anyone with her and B) that adults are interchangeable and that she should just trust any grown-up. Am I making to big a deal out of it? Do you think that, if I make a point of knowing the staff's names first so that I can introduce her to the "teachers" there and if I take a lot of time to help her get used to it before leaving her there alone, it would be okay? OR should I try to work out a regular thing with a neighbor girl to come over 2 or 3 times a week for an hour after school so that I can workout downstairs while they play- which would definitely be more personal and could evolve into having a real babysitter so that dh and I could go out alone once in awhile, etc.? I should also note that dd is VERY sensitive about strange adults looking at her, etc.-- it's just her personality-- so that plays into my trying to evaluate her comfort level with the two options, too.
 
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#2 ·
I'd try both and see what happens. I know that my very sensitive ds would not have been OK at a gym daycare at age 3, but he would have been at age 4.

You're not going to be leaving her with a random grown up at the gym. You're going to a place where they've hired someone (make sure they've done background checks at your dh's workplace) who is trained to take care of children (make sure this is true too).

I think if you go into it assuming she'll be OK, then you'll know pretty soon whether that's true. If you go in assuming that she's going to have a fit about it, she might well pick up on that.

The downside to the neighbor is that it's hard to really get time to yourself when she's still in the house (and it's hard for the babysitter to be in charge).
 
#3 ·
We've done both. The gym was a nightmare and part of it is due to the fact they did not come get us even though we specifically said please do if he cries/needs us, etc. We then found an awesome young woman that absolutely adores ds1. She comes over 2-3xs a week and takes him to a park. They have a great relationship! He loves going out with her. I personally would try having the neighbor over and see how it goes before joining the gym. My ds is very sensitive also. Good luck!! I love working out too, it helps so much. Mary
 
#4 ·
My ds is 3.5 and has always been sensitive about being left with sitters/childcare situations. He's really inconsistent. If he likes a sitter, he's fine being left at home with the sitter now. He's fine being left at preschool (though a year ago it took him about 2+ months to transition to preschool without daily tears). I haven't tried gym babysitting lately because we couldn't make it work at all when he was 2. We've tried to leave him in a church nursery a few times this summer (same nursery each time, where we'd stayed with him several times) but he would just cry and beg us not to leave.

The one thing that seems to help is if there's one childcare worker or other kid who can be his friend each time he's there. Once he's talking and playing with someone, he's more willing to stay. When he's by himself and no one is paying personal attention to him, he's more likely to cry and want to leave. Sometimes the childcare workers are very understanding and will work with you on this...sometimes not.

Seems like staying home with a sitter is a little easier, because the surroundings are familiar and he's got all his favorite toys.

Good luck!
 
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