3yo ds has to get cavities filled - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 01:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What can I expect at the dentist?

He actually has 3 fillings that need to be taken care of and I'm terrified! He's so little and I have terrible guilt that he even has them.

He'll be going to my dentist who I love and is so careful about pain. But, dh told me that at the initial appt he was told that they don't normally allow parents to go back with them. Is that normal? I feel so scared for him having to go back there all by himself. Would my presence just make it worse?

TIA!

Lisa, mama to A (3/05) and R (11/07) and L (8/10)
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#2 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 02:30 AM
 
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We just had four cavities filled on my five year old this past summer. It really wasn't traumatic at all. For one the dentist had a tv screen on with PBS above the chair. Secondly he only did two at a time. He said he wouldn't push a child to sit any longer than that. And thirdly I had prepped my son with the fact that a needle would be involved and he (my son) said "Oh I'm sure he won't do that for mine!" He didn't even notice the needle or feel it because of the numbing agent the Dentist used first. So my recommendation to you is to not pass along your own fear and baggage. I don't think I would go to a dentist that didn't allow me back with my child. I would think hard about that.
By the way there is a great dental thread somewhere on MDC, maybe under health?
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#3 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 02:37 AM
 
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DS also has had, unfortunately, numerous cavities filled. I agree with the PP. I would find a pediatric dentist -- no way would I send my three y.o. back there without me.

DH loaded his ipod with a couple kid shows -- that and headphones, and DS barely flinched. The dentist was incredibly gentle and slow (she has a 3 and 5 y.o.), and was willing to stop at any time. We did the work over multiple (four?) visits. DS really likes going to the dentist, believe it or not.

Best of luck to you and your little one!
-e

Momma to 8 y.o. DS and 5 y.o. DD. Married to a Maker!

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#4 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 08:42 AM
 
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I have taken my kids to dentists that don't allow the parents back but I don't anymore. I switched our kids over to our family dentist and they have a seat for the parents to sit IN the room with their child. I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't care whether a dentist thinks it's easier without the parent. I'm their parent 24/7 and being absent for an hour when they are digging in to my child's tooth just isn't up my alley. If you want to go back, go back. I would.

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#5 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 08:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyMommaToo View Post
I would find a pediatric dentist -- no way would I send my three y.o. back there without me.
where I live it's the pediatric dentists that don't allow the parents to go back.

Single (divorced), self-employed working, college student MOM to:

 

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11 yr old 

 4 yr old

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#6 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 12:35 PM
 
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Quote:
where I live it's the pediatric dentists that don't allow the parents to go back.
Crazy. WE've been to two ped dentists in the LA area, and they both expected us to come back!
-e

Momma to 8 y.o. DS and 5 y.o. DD. Married to a Maker!

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#7 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 12:38 PM
 
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My son (who is 4.5) has had a few done. His dentist gives him nitrous, then does the novacaine (DS doesn't like the shot but he calms down pretty fast) and then fills the cavities incredibly fast. I can go back if DS wants me to. Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't.

She will only numb one side of the mouth. So when DS had cavities on opposite sides, he had to come in twice. I always wondered why but then I read a post here where someone said the dentist numbed her DD's whole mouth and the little girl chewed up her lip really badly. So I'm glad she only does one side of numbing.
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#8 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 12:52 PM
 
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I am really surprised if you can't sit in with your little one. It seems way too much to expect a 3 year old to be able to handle alone... WHy wouldn't they want you too?
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#9 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 03:35 PM
 
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First, I totally get the guilt part. Dd (now 4y) has terrible issues with her baby teeth. The first 2 dentists we saw were not great. The final one we found was amazing, educated us and we feel so comfortable with her. I am absoultely not OK with leaving my child. All of dd's work has been done while she is on our lap (extraction of a molar, 2 sets of fillings, fitting for a spacer). The dentist uses gas...we have to pay extra each time but it's totally worth the $42. During the first visit she let dd sit in the chair and play, pick out a flavor to get her teeth brushed with, allowed her to exlore kiddie versions of all the tools, and had a flatscreen movie of her choice overhead. She gave her a mask that the gas flows through (scent and color of her choice) and practiced breathing with her. Every night we practiced together while I read her a relaxation script (my idea, I'm a child psychologist). Dd was a champ with the extraction. She went with dh, on his lap, he said the gas totally calmed her and she later reported to me that it made her feel "smooth and comfy!").

Moral of the story is that I was such a mess when she had her first work done that I sat home and practically cried while she got gassed and watched a movie! She loves going to the dentist and on a recent playdate one of her friends commente that the dentist hurts and dd said "you should try mine, she's fun". This was really proof to me that you have to search for the right professional. Thankfully we found one.

If you are not comfortable I would look around more.

Edited for an afterthought. The dentist warned us that children often become upset and even tearful when the effects of the gas wear off and they feel their face numbed for the first time. This happened like clockwork for dd and we just had to hold her and explain what happened.

Happy Mommy to one amazing girl (6y) and one sweet boy (2y), and wife to DH since 7/03 : :
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#10 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 05:36 PM
 
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My DD (now 5) has had a lot of dental work done, since she was about 2. We've been through 2 ped. dentists -- we switched from one because of the way they were treating her, and are totally in love with the second office. I would absolutely not work with a dentist that wouldn't allow me to stay with a child that young. Our current office gives the children the choice of parent or no parent. My 9 YO DS is OK without me, DD still wants me with her. For visits when she was 3 the dentist allowed me to hold her on my lap while he was working. In fact, the hygenist had my lie down and pillow her head on my tummy during her first cleaning. For her, this was essential for her comfort. Now that she is a tad older she is OK in the chair on her own, but still wants to hold my hand.
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#11 of 11 Old 12-04-2008, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for all the replies.

I have to say that I completely trust my dentist as far as pain management, etc. I've gone to him forever and he is really good. But he doesn't do children often. He would be giving him nitrous but he doesn't have tv for him. I do have an ipod though that I could load up. I did call a pediatric dentist and they said they also don't like allowing parents back because they claim it makes the experience worse-I assume clingy kids, etc?? I just can't get past him being so little and having to go through it without me there.

I'm trying to figure out how much of my worry is my own baggage. I have had a couple unpleasant experiences (not with this dentist) and they have really given me anxiety about getting any dental work done.

I may keep calling around...

Lisa, mama to A (3/05) and R (11/07) and L (8/10)
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