Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Youngstown OH-Gotta Live Somewhere!
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To be honest we have started setting clear limits for our ds on this sort of thing (he is 3.5) and we are seeing results. We are letting him know that when we are speaking we are unhappy when he constantly interrupts, we are asking him to say "Excuse me." when he wants our attention. We are also setting a rule that he ask to get down from the table when he is done. This has helped a lot as he often has a mouthful of food which is a choking hazard so we remind him to wait until he's finished eating. It also sometimes has the effect that he'll start eating again, but that is just his choice.
We are requesting basic manners from him, I would like, or may I have? not I WANT! I've found myself repeating my parents phrase "I want doesn't get"!!! I'm pointing out to him that negative behaviour such as screaming or throwing a tantrum will NEVER result in him getting his own way. A couple of times I have had to explain to him that his own behaviour made sure he didn't get his own way. This was really frustrating to him but we keep pointing out that it is totally in his control. I've certainly noticed that the tantrums have reduced recently and his tone of speaking to us is so much better. It was just a matter of us setting guides for him and letting him know our expectations.
Of course it works 100% of the time with no problems. Ever. Honest...
Oh no-- you don't suck! I know it can be hard not to take things like this personally, but really try. I've read a few places (can't remember right now exactly where, but I could look it up) about young children "behaving" for other adults and then allowing themselves to act out with the adult they feel the closest to. When dd (also 3yo) starts throwing major hissies with me after being sweet with grandma, I always remind myself of this. I tell myself that it's a bit stressful for her to be with someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and that I shoul be happy she feels confident enough in my unconditional love for her that she can let all that stress out with me.
Mama to my 3 wild things.