Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: A big city in a big state
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Wildflower, I wish I was as comfortable with myself as that groovy mom sitting on the floor with her daughter. No, we have learned the body parts over the years through books we have read (she LOVES anatomy books) together. Also, mommy it itches right here. Oh, your vulva itches, let's see or maybe we didn't rinse welll enough let's jump back in the bath tub.
Most of the books that are directed at children are not that keen on using the right names for the parts so you kinda have to do it yourself. But again, it is not a "lesson" it is just a daily part of life, like did you brush your teeth?
When did I start? When she was 3 months old. Teenage pregnancy is rampant in my culture so when I went to my hometown my best friend called me in tears to tell me that her teenage daughter (that she had when SHE was a teenager) was pregnant. She asked if she could come over (to cry on my shoulder). So while I was waiting for her I explained to my 3 month old out loud everything about teenage pregnancy and how to avoid it and sex and reproduction and names of body parts and how to avoid being a victim of child abuse. Anything I could think of. I just rambled. Wow, it felt wierd. But, I figured I better get used to is with a 3 month old so I can feel comfortable with it as she got older. And it worked. She now thinks it is funny that her best friend calls his penis WEE WEE. When she asked him to marry her and he got nervous and said he had to ask him mother, she said, that is not right. Mommy, doesn't each person decide who, or if, they will marry without asking their mommy?
My mom raised us with a very negative view of our bodies. When I met my dh at the age of 22, I was still taking a shower with my underwear on! I remember being a teenageer and bathing 3 or 4 times a day when I was menstruating because I thought I was dirty. My mom is slowly and hesistatingly getting used to the fact that my daughter DOES NOT wear clothes at home or in the car or in my office.
3boys4us, oh yeah, never force a child to kiss/hug anybody. That is sending her the message that adults get to say what to do to her.