November '05 Mama Chat Thread for February '09 - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 142 Old 02-24-2009, 04:46 PM
 
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Awaken, s. I'm sorry you're going through that, it must be hard... but it WILL end, right? Good for you for keeping up with your doula work - I bet it's very rewarding.

QofC - I'm sorry about Ellie's UTI, poor little moppet. And I think you guys have exactly the right approach to abx.

Fern, Helen - I wish I could have those "city" days... here every day is a city day, but it's not a huge big city, so it's not as exciting, but it is noisy and fraught with traffic (even on a bike - especially on a bike). I envy you your quiet places! But then again, I can walk to our playgroup, museum, grocery store, DH's work, shops... it's not all bad, I do like living here, I just so wish it could be quiet, kwim?

I'm in the process of trying to get Rowan into a Montessori preschool for next Sept. I've gone back and forth on the issue and after looking at research and writing on education and watching Rowan interact (or not interact) with other kids... I'm pretty sure Montessori is the best choice for her. I was leaning towards homeschooling but there are two big problems with it - my own temperament and ability to facilitate her learning adequately, and her tendency towards self-isolation and avoidance of social situations. I had a brief visit at one Montessori school this morning and the classrooms were SO calm - filled with 3, 4 and 5 year olds! All of them were fiddling with the toys/learning materials, just doing what they found interesting, fully absorbed...That is *exactly* the environment Rowan needs. I have a full tour with that school next Friday and one with another school this Thursday. The one I was at today would be just two afternoons a week, which I think would be better, but it seems a little heavy on the spiritual side of things and the kids have to wear uniforms(!). I haven't yet talked to the directress to ascertain if the spirituality is in line with our beliefs or not, and frankly I'm not sure about the whole uniform thing. Anyone have any thoughts on that? It's not something I ever encountered when I was growing up, and I don't know how I feel about it.

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#122 of 142 Old 02-24-2009, 05:41 PM
 
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Honestly, I would love it if my kids had to wear uniforms to school. I think it take fashion/trends and often wealth right out of the equation, you know?

Well, Ellie seems to be about 1000% better today - I'm very relieved!

We're making a King Cake at the moment and having beans and rice and shrimp for dinner. Anyone else celebrating Mardi Gras?

Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
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#123 of 142 Old 02-24-2009, 05:43 PM
 
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to you, awaken and ethan and ezra, and to you, too, jenn and ellie.

hope these hard times pass soon!

my canada cold is gone, though i am *quite* sick with morning sickness...
looking forward to emerging from the haze of the first trimester already.
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#124 of 142 Old 02-24-2009, 07:09 PM
 
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Mary - that sounds scary from a mama perspective. I hope everything goes smoothly for Ethan!

Jen - good to hear Ellie is feeling better! We're not celebrating Mardi Gras; I am thinking fondly on my New Orleans days though. And I wouldn't turn my back on a piece of king cake were it offered.

Spughy - Given the similarities in Brynn & Rowan's personalities, I would think she'd enjoy Montessori as well. I still just can't get over how much Brynn has come out of her shell in that environment, knowing she is safe and that her space is her own. As for the uniform, I'm pretty much for them, for the same reasons that Jen cited. And Brynn still doesn't ever notice what she wears, but I know for some kids, it might take the battle out of choosing clothes every day. I'm curious to hear what more you learn about the spirituality aspect...our school doesn't encompass that at all.

Hillary - Poor mama! I'm hoping that your morning sickness doesn't get as bad as it was with Finley. Hang in there!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#125 of 142 Old 02-25-2009, 06:59 AM
 
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Mary

Spughy, you know we have the best of both. Swindon's a smallish town, but we have a lot of green space in amongst the grotty grey stuff.
I love school uniforms. It's a clue that today is a school day, means that nice clothes don't get trashed with paint and glue and it's just what you do. It would depend on the style of uniform, though- Skye has a t-shirt which she wears with her own trousers and that's enough for her. The boys, you've seen. Quality is a real issue though-if it's too cheap you're going to have to replace it cos it's falling to pieces.

Hillary, feel better soon

I need pictures of King Cake.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#126 of 142 Old 02-26-2009, 03:27 PM
 
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It's so quiet around here lately.....

Not much going on with me, but my good friend had her homebirth baby boy yesterday! : He was 9lbs 4oz and born 3 days before her due date. She labored for a total of 6 hours, about 1.5 of which was active. I saw them today and she looks wonderful, and the baby is beautiful! I'm also kind of digging the fact that she's been in the same boat as me with the name thing, and her babe is as yet un-named.

I am getting excited to meet this little one of my own.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#127 of 142 Old 02-26-2009, 03:50 PM
 
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Amy, I am so excited for you to meet your little one, too! : How wonderful to have close friends nearby who are having homebirths and in such a similar journey as you. That has to be inspiring and encouraging.

Jen, I'm so glad Ellie is all better! Hope the rest of your Mardi Gras celebration was great fun.

Spughy, I'm glad you've found a good school situation for Rowan. The Montessori set up sounds great. If we were not homeschooling, we'd probably do that. I also think uniforms might not be such a bad thing.

Fern, I forgot to say in my last post, thank you for sharing your beautiful day that you shared with Rue in the city. I just loved taking that journey with you. And I love imagining you in your rural setting, too, and I, too, long for that quiet.

I am still feeling pretty horribly, feeling like a bad mama to Finley, not much fun at all. I'm actually way sicker than I was with Finley so far, except that with Finley I let it get out of hand one week, and ended up in the hospital...and now, I know (hopefully) how to avoid that (keep eating). But I'm amazed at how sick I feel and how early and how constantly! And I'm pretty emotional, too, which I wasn't so much with Finley.

Hope this finds you all having lovely days!
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#128 of 142 Old 02-28-2009, 10:05 AM
 
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barcelona, I hope your sickness abates early

I'm awake with too may contractions to sleep through (though not in labour- and not wanting to be- I'm only 34 weeks). But these are annoying enough that they've prodded me into making a little to do list of things that MUST happen before the baby is born. It's a scaled down version of the one that has things like freezer meals and finishing taxes on it; we'll all survive if those things don't happen, but I do need some pads in the house. It's 5 am, and I want to drink beer. If it was a couple of hours earlier I'd go for it, but odds are Neela will wake up in an hour, just as I'm getting drowsy.

(Note to self- if I'm totally wrong and this is labour, I should print out this crazy sleep-deprived post and put it in the baby book...)

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#129 of 142 Old 02-28-2009, 12:59 PM
 
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Mel, I hope it's not labor! Thirty-four weeks is awfully early.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#130 of 142 Old 02-28-2009, 01:38 PM
 
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mel, i sure hope baby stays put a while longer!! take it easy. are you getting enough water? food? rest? im naking a very cranky teething 13 month old almost walking baby!

 

 

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#131 of 142 Old 02-28-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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mel, i sure hope baby stays put a while longer!! take it easy. are you getting enough water? food? rest?


im nak a very cranky teething 13 month old almost walking baby!almost not a baby anymore, but baby lust is gone, for now anyways..

well, rue is now in the livingroom playing so i have a second. or not... *sigh* some days having a baby this age is very trying.

im reading the book raising our children, raising ourselves trying to give myself some feet to stand on. i think im doing pretty well, all considering! but i still feel like im not the mother i know i could be. maybe my expectations of myself are too high, but im coming to the realization that my childhood was pretty traumatic, despite having a pretty okay one. im scared that my kids will feel that way if i am cranky and grumpy with them. i think my trauma roots from feeling very unimportant and ignored as a child, and i know that my kids don't feel like that, but im trying to make sure that they (especially the 2 older ones)feel like they are very special to me, even though most of my energy is going towards rue these days. its not easy. some days i feel like i would give my right hand for a moment or 10 by myself. but mostly i love my days full of chaos and noise and kids

i think im doing house fixing up today in hope of spring. it was -22 yesterday morning and -18 this morning. spring is still far off here...

 

 

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#132 of 142 Old 03-01-2009, 12:02 AM
 
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mel, i sure hope baby stays put a while longer!! take it easy. are you getting enough water? food? rest?
Definitely enough food and water, totally not enough rest. Neela woke up at 5:15 this morning, and was up for the day. I convinced her to cuddle and read on the couch for a while, but when Matt woke up I had a crying meltdown that it was already morning and I'd only slept a couple of hours. I haven't been as emotional with this pregnancy but the sleep deprivation did me in. I had a long nap later in the morning while Matt and Neela bought groceries, and had a pretty relaxing day overall. The contractions really slowed down after the nap. I may be taking Monday off work...

Thanks for your thoughts and care, everyone. I remember when a group of our Nov 05 DDC was in endless prodromal labour, and am hoping this won't be my pattern. Luckily the contractions don't hurt, but they're annoying enough to keep me awake sometimes :

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#133 of 142 Old 03-01-2009, 04:56 AM
 
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#134 of 142 Old 03-01-2009, 12:31 PM
 
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Oh, no! That whole ordeal sounds awful! I'm so glad you're back home and he's doing better now.

Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
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#135 of 142 Old 03-01-2009, 05:46 PM
 
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DiD and Lucius! I am so glad he is better and home now...

to Mel. I hope the contractions let up right away so you can have some peace and rest before it is time for your baby to come.
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#136 of 142 Old 03-01-2009, 06:29 PM
 
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:Happy Birthday, Fern!!!!:

We love you, Mama!! :

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im reading the book raising our children, raising ourselves trying to give myself some feet to stand on. i think im doing pretty well, all considering! but i still feel like im not the mother i know i could be. maybe my expectations of myself are too high, but im coming to the realization that my childhood was pretty traumatic, despite having a pretty okay one. im scared that my kids will feel that way if i am cranky and grumpy with them. i think my trauma roots from feeling very unimportant and ignored as a child, and i know that my kids don't feel like that, but im trying to make sure that they (especially the 2 older ones)feel like they are very special to me, even though most of my energy is going towards rue these days. its not easy. some days i feel like i would give my right hand for a moment or 10 by myself. but mostly i love my days full of chaos and noise and kids
I'm so glad you posted this. I've been struggling with this a lot lately, too. I've been so tired and grouchy lately, just not wanting to interact at all with anyone, and I feel terrible about it; Brynn definitely feels the difference in my level of mothering, I'm sure, and she's acting out about it (which then, in turn, makes me withdraw even more - talk about vicious cycle). It makes me wonder how things will be after the baby comes when I'm even more tired and distracted, ya know? I think balancing your own needs as a person and the needs of your children is one of the hardest things about being a mom! I have yet to figure it out, and here I am about to throw another needing-person onto the pile!

I actually kind of broke down the other day to Jason and told him how good it would feel to be on the recieving end of some mothering for a change, which isn't something I usually ever think about. But my mom is in Oregon, and we're still not close, so it's like this big empty hole in my life, that honestly feels quite pronounced right now.

Anyway. Sorry to hear about Lucius, DiD.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#137 of 142 Old 03-01-2009, 07:09 PM
 
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Happy weekend everyone.

Mel, sorry about the sleepless night and contractions. I"m glad you got a chance to nap. I really feel for you; I had MANY a night like that with Ethan. I really hope you're feeling better today.

DiD, Oh I am so sorry you and Lucius had to go through that! I am so relieved he is home and the infection got under control. I can only imagine how scary that must have been.

Fern- thanks for posting about that book- I have been meaning to read it forever, and as soon as I finish my current book I will start on it! I think I definitely need to encouragement it offers.

I had a little revelation the other day- I find it so hard to be "on" and needed 24/7. I need alone time so badly and hardly get it. Sometimes just the daily stuff like getting them dressed, getting from place to place can be so challenging. But I was reminded that this is what it IS to have kids- and to look for enjoyment in those mundane daily things. I don't want my kids to be grown up and realize I felt like the days with them were a chore, and I'll want that time back so badly. As hard as it was at times, already I am sad their baby days are past and wish I had just one day with them as a baby again. I want to savor this time when they're learning and growing so much, even if it's taking a lot out of me.

That said- we're having a crappy weekend! Dh is on the phone with work the whole time, the kids are in foul moods, and I feel like I'm supplying all the positivity for everyone and at this point I have none left! We went bowling at Ethan's suggestion and had a great time, but Ezra threw a fit midway through, and now he won't stop torturing the dog. They are bickering all day and it's just really getting to me.

Anyway, hoping for a better night. We're supposed to get almost 1 1/2 feet of snow!!!! I predict a snow day and sledding tomorrow!!!
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#138 of 142 Old 03-01-2009, 08:32 PM
 
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Scary doesn't even begin to describe it.

But again, I'm given the feeling that Lucius is here to teach me some lessons. I've learned a lot already in his short little life, so my eyes are wide open. He truly is wise far beyond his years and this is something I noticed from the moment he was born.

His name means "bringer of light" and I think it is true but not in the sense you normally think. More like shedding light on things I haven't thought of, and opening my mind to things I've previously been closed to. I can definitely see his purpose and place in my life already. I'm amazed.
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#139 of 142 Old 03-02-2009, 05:55 AM
 
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to DiD, and Awaken, and everyone else.

Mel, you have the surviving prodromal labour checklist, right? Drink, get OUT of the house, and rest. You might also find that epsom salts baths help.

Time to myself is how i mother myself. I do need people to be constantly respectful and honouring of my needs, and my desires, like I try to do with other people, and I don't focus well when I feel dismissed. I'm in a similar place, Fern, though I don't know how much of my issues are down to the depression and how much to parenting. That was then, though, and this is now. I haven't read Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves yet, but I've been reading What Mothers Do recently and i like Aldort's work.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#140 of 142 Old 03-02-2009, 01:03 PM
 
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:Happy Birthday, Fern!!!!:

We love you, Mama!! :


thanks amy i had a nice day.





I'm so glad you posted this. I've been struggling with this a lot lately, too. I've been so tired and grouchy lately, just not wanting to interact at all with anyone, and I feel terrible about it; Brynn definitely feels the difference in my level of mothering, I'm sure, and she's acting out about it (which then, in turn, makes me withdraw even more - talk about vicious cycle). It makes me wonder how things will be after the baby comes when I'm even more tired and distracted, ya know? I think balancing your own needs as a person and the needs of your children is one of the hardest things about being a mom! I have yet to figure it out, and here I am about to throw another needing-person onto the pile!

its hard. for sure. and it gets harder. having a needy small person and a needy bigger person and then yourself and family on top of that. well. its a balancing act. im finding the only cure is making sure im getting some me time. even if its just for 5 minutes a day, it helps.

I actually kind of broke down the other day to Jason and told him how good it would feel to be on the recieving end of some mothering for a change, which isn't something I usually ever think about. But my mom is in Oregon, and we're still not close, so it's like this big empty hole in my life, that honestly feels quite pronounced right now.

i miss my mom too. im sorry!! in some ways im glad im doing it on my own. my relationship with my mom isnt always easy. but knowing that when you need them they are too far is hard.

DID i havnt read what happened yet..but im off to do that

 

 

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#141 of 142 Old 03-02-2009, 01:57 PM
 
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Wow looks like everyone needs a big . I will send all my "everything's fine, I'm content" vibes to my Nov05 mamas

So.. yeah not much happening here! Just slurping back my coffee, enjoying the chatter coming from little Rowan, who is pretending that a flashlight is a little cat, who somehow keeps getting stuffed in a small bag of the sort normally destined for picking up dog poo.

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#142 of 142 Old 03-02-2009, 05:52 PM
 
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I didn't see a new thread, so I started one!

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...1#post13289271

Urgh, that hyperlink thing never works for me!
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