Thanks for your responses.
The OT (we did an ECI eval for minor speech delays) did pick up some sensory stuff when she was younger; mild sensory seeking and some definite auditory sensitivities. But the OT didn't think it was serious enough to do any interventions.
She's pretty sensitive, emotionally. She's not at all volatile and she rarely has meltdowns, but I've noticed that she is more adept at reading people's emotions than other kids in her preschool and she feels rejected more easily. She also works hard to fix any disconnection between myself and her, or she and her papa. With the eye contact, my sense is that its almost like its too much additional stimuli to process, and she actually hears us better when she looks away. Does that make any sense?
This is going to sound really woo-woo, but sometimes she reads my mind. Its really weird. Like one time I was thinking about where to plant some tulips, hadn't said anything aloud, and she said, "What are too-lips?" Another time I was thinking about a child with ALL, hadn't spoken about the child to anyone, and she woke up (I was sitting next to her in bed) and said, "Is the little girl going to die, Mama?" On my way to work this morning, for example, as I was dropping her off at preschool, she said, "Don't worry about the towels, mama" (we are running short of towels at work, and when I got there it turned out someone had brought 9 donated towels in). When I asked her how she knew I was worried about the towels, she said, "Grandpa told me." (Both her grandfathers are dead). I don't know what to make of it. Maybe all children are pretty sensitive they just outgrow it when they get older?
I have read The Highly Sensitive Child. It describes me perfectly when I was a child. Bean is not so sensitive about clothing, or about many of the things I was very picky about, but she does meet some of the criteria.