I"m not sure where this fits...GD, parenting, or childhood.
I need some help for a situation that's come up a few times for my 6 yr old DS. I am so clueless about handling playground conflicts. I really want to help him and model helpful responses but when a conflict arises I just draw a blank and don't know what to do or say. Compounding it is that I am usually the only one playing with my kids at the park- all the other parents and nannies just sit and talk on their cell phones and I'm alone to deal with what comes up between kids. I just HATE being alone to police other people's kids.
A girl my kids know, who is known to be bossy and commanding (she's about 4 but acts much older) kept yelling at my son, go away, I don't like you, we won't play with you. He wasn't being annoying or anything...they just had thier little clique and didn't want another kid. She was pushing him away from the slides, not letting him play anywhere near them. He was trying so hard to be nice and polite, saying excuse me, I'd like to use the slides, etc. She kept yelling at him, go away, etc. And he got more and more bewildered and kept saying "but I'm being so nice! I'm being kind to you! I just want to play here!" And this went on several times with no resolution. Finally he just burst into tears in frustration.
Of course I was there, empathizing with him, comforting him, affirming his feelings that he WAS being very nice and kind and the other kids were having a hard time including others today. Of course no one was there to talk to the little girl, she was with a babysitter who was no where to be found. I was alone trying to help my son against a gang of kids and I really don't know what else to say to them, b/c I can't MAKE them like him or want to play with him! If the mom had been there I probably would have asked her to come on over and help resolve it with her daughter.
He kept trying to play with them, they kept ignoring him, he got interested in other things, and they went home and we ended up having a fine time.
I only ask because this has happened other times and I suspect will happen again as a normal part of childhood. I want to have some good approaches and responses in mind when it does. And my son is kind of quirky and different, but there are way more times where kids and adults love to play with him so it's not that no one wants to be around him! Just certain groups of kids who are more aggressive/assertive and like to form cliques.
One idea that I'm not sure about, is talk to the girl's mom the next time I see her...we aren't good friends but acquaintances and will probably run into each other soon. Maybe ask her what approach works well for her when this happens- and it does happen a lot with this girl! but that seems like tattling to me.
But in lieu of that, I'm asking you guys
What would you do, what else can I say, or did I do all I could?