Ear Piercing - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 14 Old 05-08-2009, 11:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know that this can be controversial, but please be gentle and no flames. Thanks

My DD, 5 in February, really wants her ears pierced. We have talked about how it will hurt, how she'll have to clean them, etc. She REALLY, REALLY wants them done. She is not a "beg and plead" type of kid, in general. She might want something in the moment, but this is the first thing she has continued to ask and ask for, for months. My mom had me wait until 5th grade. I was genuinely upset about it and felt very annoyed that I was "the only" one who had to wait. I swore I wouldn't make my daughter wait. Well, here we are, and I'm hesitating. If we say OK, we know we'll get them done at a piercing/tattoo studio, not with the guns at the mall. What are your thoughts? At what age would you be OK with it? What are your reasons?

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#2 of 14 Old 05-09-2009, 03:34 AM
 
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There's been an interesting thread on piercing a newborn's ears in the adoptive section: http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1076837

It's not what you're asking, but there may be some interesting ideas there.

I don't have an opinion on your situation at this time. However, if you choose to wait, your daughter will survive. You may lose mommy points in her eyes, but who cares. Looking back at your childhood now, do you think horrible thoughts because your mom made you wait until you were 10 years old? That seems pretty reasonable to me.

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#3 of 14 Old 05-09-2009, 03:47 AM
 
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If dd has wanted it at that age I would have done it. I have no issues at all about haivng her ears peirced as long as it is her request. I think most people agree that as long as it is the childs decision then it isnt an issue.

 
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#4 of 14 Old 05-09-2009, 03:51 AM
 
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I'm very against infant piercing and all that. But if she is asking, and you've discussed the risks pain, etc. I'm not sure what the rationale would be for saying no. Basically do you think she is able to understand those things and make an informed choice? Do you think she is mature enough to care for them properly? If so, then I wouldn't stop her. I know that by the time they are adults some people wish they'd never been pierced, but really do you think she'll change her mind between the ages of 5 and 10?
I think I got mine done at 6 or 7. It was a couple months after I asked since it was made dependent on getting straight As or something like that.
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#5 of 14 Old 05-09-2009, 07:58 AM
 
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As long as you've discussed it and you're sure this isn't some fleeting whim, I think it's fine to go ahead with it. I was 5 when mine were done and I remember it all so clearly. I cleaned and turned them myself and was a little nervous getting it done, but it wasn't that scary or painful. When I was about 18 I stopped wearing earrings for a long time. The holes got tiny and I never minded that they were still there. After over 10 years of not wearing them, one day I was curious if the holes had closed completely, and they hadn't! So I've been wearing earrings again. I know some people worry about regretting things like that as adults, but even as adults we change our minds. If she is making an educated choice--which I think 5 year olds can be capable of--then 2 tiny holes are not going to be a problem later if she changes her mind years from now.
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#6 of 14 Old 05-09-2009, 12:06 PM
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My kids have many allergies to metals, so I will wait for them. I know I could get "nice" ear rings but I also know that my kids will want to buy the cute stuff at the mall. Fortunately, my kids don't want anyone poking them with anything! The one who asked quickly changed her mind when she found out what it really meant.

If allergies aren't an issue, I would go ahead and let her. But, I would put guidelines on what earrings were allowed, etc. I watched a girl pull her sweater off quickly and have the earring tear through her ear. She was in first grade and wore very dangly earrings. OUCH!

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#7 of 14 Old 05-09-2009, 03:05 PM
 
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I thought I would come out of lurkdom for this one. This was the same for my daughter. She turned 5 last year in Feb, and we had been talking about it for about a year. About 7 months after her 5th birthday, I finally decided that it was her decision. So, we did it. First of all, it was SO horrible for her, and me. There were 2 people to pierce. They were doing both ears at once. That was good. But, the lady on the left messed up.( I was livid!) So right earing was in but left was not. So dd was screaming and crying, and everyone was looking at me like I was the worst mother in the world. Like I was making her do it. I was just so concerned with her pain. I was trying to comfort her. I wanted to just take the right one out and forget it about it. She said no way. Even through the screaming and crying she wanted them to do the left. So they did, and she was fine like 5 minutes later. She has been fine with all of the turning and cleaning. Has had no infections or anything. The only problem so far? She refuses to let me change them. She has been given some beautiful earrings as gifts, and she refuses. She refuses because the back of the studs are so hard to get off. I tried one time and I was unsuccessful. She didn't like it, so now she is afraid. I guess we will just wait until she is ready.

Honestly, if I had to make the decision again, I would have said no way!
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#8 of 14 Old 05-09-2009, 04:34 PM
 
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I think as long as it is her decision 100%, and she knows the process, the care she'll need to take, the long term effects, etc. that it's fine. My problem with ear piercing at a young age is taking the choice away from the child (and it looks silly on babies, IMO). If she is choosing this, wants it and understands what she's getting into, I say go for it.

My DD is 4 1/2 and we've started talking about it. I told her we'd revisit her request when she turns five and if she decides she wants to have it done, I'll take her. Her body, her choice.
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#9 of 14 Old 05-10-2009, 07:51 PM
 
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As long as the child is asking for it and giving "consent" I would be fine doing it. In fact dd is considering getting it done for her 5th birthday coming up as well.

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#10 of 14 Old 05-10-2009, 08:44 PM
 
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I was 5 when I had mine done. No problems excpet as an adult the holes are slightly higher on my lobes than they would be if done now (My ears must have grown oddly.) so some small loops don't fit.
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#11 of 14 Old 05-10-2009, 08:50 PM
 
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DD just had hers done in February when she turned 7. She had asked for two years. She turned them and cleaned them herself. She was able to tell me when one was bothering her (it just needed a little extra love for one day). We had it done at a piercing studio; they were SOOOO nice. I made an appointment; we went straight into a room; the lady was nice, and tried to shield her a bit from seeing the implements. This wasn't to keep her uninformed; it's because people often are fine until they are looking at the needles. DD did HAVE to see them. It did hurt, but not much. HOWEVER, she threw up. She was so determined. After the first ear, she turned completely white. I made sure she knew (over and over) that this was her choice. I would have walked out with only one of her ears pierced. But, she was determined. I was amazed and awed by her steely resolve.

So, that's my experience. I had mine pierced at 6. I have never regretted it, and DD is very happy with hers.

One final note: in the interest of honesty, I think I actually made her too anxious about the process. I think if I had played it cooler and been a touch less informative, she would have had an easier time. She did not throw up from pain, but from nerves.
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#12 of 14 Old 05-10-2009, 10:47 PM
 
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I would wait if you thought your child tended towards being physically sensitive (lower pain threshold). I know one girl who was 7 or 8 who had a hard time with them and ended up taking them out and letting them heal over. I was 12 but would have been fine younger. My 7 yo ds is sensitive and if he was asking, I'd put him off for a few more years for sure, gender issue aside. I think it is a "know your child" sort of judgment call.

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#13 of 14 Old 05-10-2009, 11:27 PM
 
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Something to keep in mind do NOT have her ears peiced with those guns. Take her to a professional studio that uses hollow needles. That way the holes wont grow up and it causes less trauma to the ear overall and from what I have read it heals faster with less trouble..

 
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#14 of 14 Old 05-10-2009, 11:32 PM
 
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I had to wait until I was 8 years old. I regret doing it even though I have never had any problems. Not sure what I will do about dd.

.
Homeschooling, midwifery mom to 4 beautiful blessings(8,6,4,1)

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