My 5 year old daughter has a boyfriend! - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-19-2009, 08:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She told me her "secret" yesterday and told me not to tell anyone. She said "J is my boyfriend and I'm J's girlfriend. When we grow up, we're going to get married!

Apparently this love affair has been going on for a while. J is a friend of C's from preschool and their teachers have commented on J and C's closeness. Apparently, they choose each other as partners on group outings and work projects and I see them playing together more often than not when I come to pick up C. J's mom told me on the weekend that J told her he was in love with C. When asked why, he said "because C makes the best funny faces."

FTR, I am not at all concerned about this. J happens to be one of my absolute favourite friends of dd's. I don't know his parents well, but have spoken with them because the kids have been asking for playdates together for weeks. I could do worse for a son-in-law. But FIVE??? I don't remember ever going through a boyfriend phase at all as a kid. Dd's preschool teachers say they have not noticed problems with exclusivity or anything and that dd is "popular and well-rounded."

They will not be in the same school in the fall; so if their friendship is to continue, it will be through the adults' efforts. It's amazing to me how complex kids' social interactions are at this young age. I've seen these two play together and I swear they really are soulmates on some level.

Anyone BTDT with a preschooler? How will this end? Is this a trend that's likely to continue, now that it's started?
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Old 05-19-2009, 08:27 PM
 
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My DS had a girlfriend in pre-school. Both were 4-5 at the time. Eventually they parted ways but stayed friends. Though her mom and I were bummed - we had been planning their prom . She moved on to other boys in the class. Meanwhile my DS told me he will never get married.
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Old 05-19-2009, 08:49 PM
 
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My 3yo daughter has 2 boyfriends at school. Twins! Nice eh?

She also asked me if we could get married Um, YES! Duh!

Wife to my of 10 years, SAHM to my 2 beautiful homebirthed girls Sydney (4/29/2006) Kennedy (3/21/2010) & 1 super Newfoundland
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Old 05-19-2009, 11:42 PM
 
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My son got married at age 3!
It was an older woman, age 5.5 at the time. We were all camping together and they walked over to a stump and declared they were getting married. Which just meant they said "I marry you." and giggled a lot. Then she moved overseas for a year and the whole time he remained faithful and always referred to her as "my wife". He still does She's back in town now and they are great friends, and the whole thing has faded but once in a while when he meets a new friend he'll let them know he "has one wife already but also lots of girlfriends."

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Old 05-20-2009, 08:09 AM
 
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My nearly 4 1/2 YO is going through this too. She has told us that she and K are going to get married. The other day she told me they were going to have a baby and that she would have it at home since neither she nor K can drive
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Old 05-20-2009, 02:07 PM
 
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My 6yo has been engaged to the same girl for 3 years! He knows they have to be adults to wed, and is quite willing to wait. He has already forewarned us that they will live togther in this house, so DH & I will need find other accomodation (he kindly offered us our neighbour's house ). They were in pre-school togther, but are now in different elementary schools and haven't seen each other since last november. He still thinks about her, writes her love letters all decorated with hearts, talks about her to everybody. For a while the mother and I called ourselves co-inlaws, but then she (my DIL2B) started growing cold on him ... So I haven't tried to keep in touch now that circumstances have separated them. He's taken after his dad - My DH was in unrequited love with the same girl from age 8 through 18.

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Old 05-20-2009, 02:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carley View Post
My 3yo daughter has 2 boyfriends at school. Twins! Nice eh?
When I was in kindergarten (at a Christian school!) I had a boyfriend named Nathan, but I was also, um, seeing his brother Jason, the first-grader. : How adorable of your DD!

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Old 05-20-2009, 02:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow. These stories are amazing! So I guess I'll just wait to see what happens. It'll be interesting. I hope she'll have an easier time of this than I did, since we're fine with whatever gender(s) she chooses and whether she marries/cohabits/has more than one partner at a time (well, I can't speak for dh on that one)! Sometimes I forget just how much of a life dd has away from me. And I've already violated her trust, I guess. She did tell me it was a secret and not to tell anyone.
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Old 05-20-2009, 03:28 PM
 
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When ds was in his last year of preschool (so age 5, the year before K), his teachers actually 'warned' the parents that this sort of thing comes up among the kids, and that it's perfectly developmentally normal. Apparently they had some panicked parents in the past!

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Old 05-20-2009, 07:01 PM
 
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In my dd's first two months of kindergarten she had several boyfriends, married and divorced the same boy twice, then got engaged, then not engaged, then she was running away from a boy who wanted to marry her before she graduated from medical school. It was a constant topic that got very old very fast, but I just went with it and listened without encouraging and it finally went away. It is really cute to though, at least right at first.
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Old 05-20-2009, 07:40 PM
 
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When I was in Kindergarten, I had a crush on a little boy in my class. I remember talking about how we would get married.

It passed, as these things do. I have to admit, though, when my mom said she saw his wedding announcement in the local paper, I kind of sighed.

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Old 05-20-2009, 09:02 PM
 
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This happened with one of my kids this year. None of my older kids ever had a crush or a boyfriend/girlfriend at this age, but my current preschooler has had a boyfriend/crush for the entire school year. The little boy's mom and I laugh about it and think it's sweet. It has prompted several discussions about friendship and making sure that you're not making someone else uncomfortable; DD and another girls would actually fight over the same boy.

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Old 05-20-2009, 09:36 PM
 
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When ds1 was in kindergarten, he had a girlfriend, "F". He and F, and another girl, "G", hung around together all the time. Eventually, F dumped ds1 for another boy, "D". DS1 was quite upset for a while. F's mom confided in me that F had told her that she didn't know why ds1 was so upset, because "D is just my boyfriend, and [ds1] is my best friend!". ummm...yeah...

Anyway, the tragic love triangle came to an end a few months later, when F dumped D, because he had a big head.

Oddly enough, F moved away a year later, after her parents split up. D doesn't go to school with ds1, anymore, but ds1 was at his birthday party a week or so ago. And, G was at ds1's party, as they've stayed friends ever since. DH and I used to tease ds1 (before he actually started dating a couple years ago) that we'd already made all the prenuptial arrangements with G's parents.

Little kids and their ideas of romance are pretty funny sometimes.

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Old 05-21-2009, 12:43 AM
 
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I got married the summer that I was six! My next door neighbor was my best friend and her mom babysat this little boy all summer long. I think he was six too. My older sister (8 at the time I think) married us on my friend's back porch and we had a little Cracker Jacks ring and everything. We both said EWWW when my sister told us to kiss, but later we snuck behind the car and gave each other a real quick little peck on the lips. I have no idea where the adults were or if they had any idea what was going on. When school started in the fall I never saw the boy again. If I could remember the boy's name I'd try to look him up and see if he remembers!

For the record, I did not have another boyfriend or kiss another boy until I was 16 years old.



My boys all thought girls had cooties until they were about 13 or 14.
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Old 05-21-2009, 02:05 AM
 
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seriously not a boyfriend/romance thing but I am still good friends with my best friend from when I was about 5. Our boys (my oldest, her youngest) are even 10 days apart in age (NOT planned!)

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), one 13 wk (10/13) and 5/15 just your average multigenerational living family!!
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Old 05-21-2009, 02:13 AM
 
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My 4 yr old is quite a play-ah... He was marrying 2 girls at once. But he said he REALLY wants to marry his baby brother .
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Old 05-22-2009, 02:26 AM
 
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My 5 year old has talked about all of his girlfriends that he's in love with for months. A couple of weeks ago he came up to me and whispered "Do you know who my first girlfriend is, the one I love the most??", I was excited for his little secret and he says "You mom!". Haha.
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