I'm having an insecure mommy moment. My seven-year-old ds just doesn't seem to need me much or desire to be really close lately. I've been reading a lot about attachment recently, mostly because I have a 6-month-old dd, and it is worrying me a bit that ds is SO independent.
Most days, ds spends the majority of his free time playing in his room or outside with his friends. He wants privacy while he plays, and if I go near his bedroom he will shut the door or ask me what I'm doing and tell me he doesn't want me listening to him. He will play for literally two or three hours at a time like this.
Most of the time, when I ask him if he wants to do something with me (like play a board game or shoot hoops), he says no.
We do read together every night for nearly an hour, and we do highs and lows before bed. I'm finding that I spend all day looking forward to this time, because otherwise he's pretty happy just doing his own thing.
This past weekend, he was in another town at my dad and stepmom's place. I called him, and he didn't want to talk to me.
Granted, he's never been very interested in telephone conversation, with me or anyone else.
I guess I'd better add that I'm his only parent. His dad passed away about a year and a half ago. Overall, though, he's a happy kid who seems pretty well adjusted.
Does all this sound like a problem to you? Is it normal for a kid his age to be so independent? After doing all this reading on attachment, I'm scaring myself that maybe he isn't securely attached to me or something!
Most days, ds spends the majority of his free time playing in his room or outside with his friends. He wants privacy while he plays, and if I go near his bedroom he will shut the door or ask me what I'm doing and tell me he doesn't want me listening to him. He will play for literally two or three hours at a time like this.
Most of the time, when I ask him if he wants to do something with me (like play a board game or shoot hoops), he says no.
We do read together every night for nearly an hour, and we do highs and lows before bed. I'm finding that I spend all day looking forward to this time, because otherwise he's pretty happy just doing his own thing.
This past weekend, he was in another town at my dad and stepmom's place. I called him, and he didn't want to talk to me.
I guess I'd better add that I'm his only parent. His dad passed away about a year and a half ago. Overall, though, he's a happy kid who seems pretty well adjusted.
Does all this sound like a problem to you? Is it normal for a kid his age to be so independent? After doing all this reading on attachment, I'm scaring myself that maybe he isn't securely attached to me or something!