going naked in front of the kids - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 04-22-2002, 06:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you? Don't you?
My dh wanders happily naked with/in front of my four year old dd, I am starting to feel reservations about being naked with her now, except when washing. It FEELS perfectly natural that dh does, but sometimes I start to THINK about it and I'm not sure. When does it stop? Does it matter?
I'm curious.....
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#2 of 14 Old 04-22-2002, 07:35 AM
 
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Hello SIS! Again, I've had the same wonderings - esp. now that ds is really into fannies (a trait emphasized through daycare). I think my confusion is exasperated by living in Europe where they have much less hangups about nudity. I've had friends who saw we should be more open - go to nudebeachs, open saunas, etc. and that would take the wonder out of it all. We bathe in front of each other (we only have 1 bathroom, so if one is in the bath and someone must go there is no choice) and I try to seem nonchalant about nudity, but there is still this prude in me that wonders . . .
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#3 of 14 Old 04-22-2002, 11:38 AM
 
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Dh and I both do, in front of both our dds. The only thing we don't do is be naked in front of our foster kids once they are about 3.
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#4 of 14 Old 04-22-2002, 09:32 PM
 
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I think family nudity is perfectly natural, especially for families who do AP. I mean, long-term nursing means a lotta boobie hanging out LOL It's unfortunate that our society has such hangups about the human body. I am trying to teach my children that while *we* don't find anything wrong with seeing each other in the buff *other people* might. (ie we don't answer the door that way LOL)
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#5 of 14 Old 04-23-2002, 02:33 AM
 
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I grew up around nudity, not lots, but we were fairly open and so I feel very comfortable with it now. We're all girls in our household but I don't think I would feel differently if we had boys. Our daughter is really into naming things right now (2.5 yo) and into complimenting us. The other day I got out of the bath and she went on this long litany that started with 'nice butt mama, nice nipples mama...' It was pretty funny. She did go on to include more mundane things like my knees.
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#6 of 14 Old 04-23-2002, 10:41 AM
 
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We struggle with this.My husband had a mom who was VERY inappropriate,so he has alot of hang-ups about nudity.He doesnt feel comfortable being naked in front of our girls,and I dont think I would be comfortable with him doing it either.On the other hand,I'm naked around the girls all the time! If I had a boy,I dont know if I'd feel differently.I guess I feel like I'm trying to teach my girls that certain body parts are private (but not "bad" or "dirty",just personal and private),so I dont want them prancing around in front of other people naked.I guess I feel like when the child gets to an age where they start to want more privacy they'll show signs of it (Wanting to bathe alone,shutting the bathroom door,getting dressed privatly,ect),and we as parents should respect that.I do not EVER want to see my Dad naked and I'm REALLY glad I never have!!
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#7 of 14 Old 04-23-2002, 12:51 PM
 
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Four-year-old ds has seen me nude many many times. He likes to come in and talk to me when I'm taking a bath. And he often follows me from the shower to the bedroom in the morning when i get dressed. We just don't make a big deal about it. He's never made a comment about the breasts or butt or anything, though he did once ask me why girls don't have penises and boys do (a common question, I'm sure).

I don't feel wierd about him seeing me naked, but I wouldn't hug and kiss him or anything while I'm nude...and I'll definitely stop getting dressed in front of him if he ever seems uncomfortable with seeing me in the buff.
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#8 of 14 Old 04-23-2002, 05:42 PM
 
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My family regularly camps at a nudist campground and it is the best thing that we hae done as a family. We were pretty leery of it at first but the kids have had so much fun and they hate to wear clothes anyway and there we don't have to worry about other people staring if we are naked. I t is nice to have people not care about how you look, they are moreinterested in what you have to say.
We are naked in ront of our children every day while we are getting dressed or if it is hot and clothing is a pain. TH eonly time we make sure we are clothed at home is when there are people who are not comfortable with it are over.
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#9 of 14 Old 04-24-2002, 02:16 PM
 
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smilienri,

thanks for that picture! Somehow I think Saturday Night Life should do a take off on that! They have had the Whiners, The Fat Family, The Loud Family, and now - the Nude Family!:LOL :LOL :LOL
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#10 of 14 Old 04-24-2002, 02:39 PM
 
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My ds is 8yo and I still go naked in front of him when I am getting dressed or getting in and out of the shower. We have even bathed together in the last year. When he is uncomfortable with it, I will make an effort to be clothed in front of him.

He is also naked in front of us before and after bath, and when changing clothes.

My dh who is ds's sf doesn't go nude in front of him. He worries that if he did, it could be misinterpreted by others. I hope he loosens up when #2 comes.
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#11 of 14 Old 04-24-2002, 03:02 PM
 
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I'm naked in front of dd (almost 3) and dh all the time. DH is not comfortable being nude in front of dd, unless he's in the shower. We all seem to have this habit of peeking at each other in the shower, dd being the biggest perpetrator. DD loves being naked, and especially loves being naked with friends. Last week dd and dh went to a friends house and had a papa and daughter hang out time while the mom and I went to class. On the way there, dd told me what she was going to do: "I'm going to take my clothes off and run around with my friend." Which is exactly what she and her friend did.
My only reservation of going naked 'round dd is that when she sees my breasts she wants to nurse!
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#12 of 14 Old 04-24-2002, 03:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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well, I was the one who raised questions, but we also spent the holidays largely in a nudist environment! We went to the european Rainbow Gathering in Croatia and there almost everyone was naked. My dh and dd joyfully so. Not me! I don't mind being naked on the beach and just minding my own business but it was strange having cups of tea with strangers and having polite getting to know you conversations while basically pretending that there was nothing bizarre about the situation at all! I also went off the male form a bit... it just got so unsexual!
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#13 of 14 Old 04-26-2002, 12:37 AM
 
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Hi everyone,
Here is my 2 cents:
When me and my children's father were together, nudity was totally normal. Granted, this is when the kids were really little. We always had lots of people living in our 1 bathroom house, and it was a real hippie scene. There weren't alot of boundaries in alot of ways. So now, I have changed alot about how I live life and what I am teaching the kids, especially now that they are growing up (they are 8 and 5). My boyfriend really feels that it is inappropriate for me or him to be naked in front of my son, and suggested that my son and daughter stop taking baths together. My son actually feels and acts much more comfortable now, it seems to me. I don't know if I wasn't paying attention to it before, or if me making a defined line about it brought it up, and he's reacting to it, but it does seem as though he does not feel comfortable when the subject of nudity arises. I still take showers with my daughter every once in a while. I feel good about that. We talk about pubic hair, boobs, etc. and it seems that she has a very natural perception about what will happen when she grows up. Both my kids are aware of when I am bleeding and know "mommy is bleeding so that means she's not going to have a baby". I feel good about what I'm doing. Now, regarding Rainbow Gatherings...
The last gathering I went to was a couple of summers ago at the US National in PA....before that, regional in Ithaca where we were all nude. I think I would feel UNnatural being fully clothed at a gathering. But that is sort of this vestigial, historical part of me talking. There is another part of me that has visions of my family clothed in white, even going in the water clothed --there is a sense of purity in that. Just some thoughts...
-Nicole
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#14 of 14 Old 04-26-2002, 05:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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an interesting two cents, thanks...
the rainbow gathering I went to in croatia was mixed, it wasn't that everybody was nude, so it was kind of, everyone was normal and everyone was weird.
I know what you mean about a general lack of boundaries in the hippy scene, and that's what bothers me. In the families I know that were very relaxed about nudity at the beginning their children are quite intent on preserving their privacy now, but it's probably just a stage. It's all just a stage, really, even for us
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