Moms of four-year olds...support thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 09-20-2009, 09:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My son just turned four in August and I swear, it was like someone flipped a switch, because my normally sweet, never aggressive little boy started HITTING. I'm still stunned by it. He got frustrated a lot when he was three but he never took it out on us, he rarely grabbed things out of other kids' hands, and he never was overly physical with other kids at ALL. Now, he hits us, he kicked a little kid at the playground the other day, he grabs things away from other kids all the time, and he says mean things.

He's not like this ALL the time, but he never used to be like this so it's shocking to me. I'll admit I used to see other kids who behaved this way and be a little smug that MY precious baby wasn't like THOSE kids, and obviously they just weren't parented right. Uh, yeah.

Anyway, I just wanted to hear from other parents who might be going through this. I *know* it's probably just a phase (judging from other moms I've spoken to, especially those with boys) but as my DH just said, it's EMBARRASSING. And a little heartbreaking.

Formerly New Mama to Henry, born August 2005 and Silas, born November 2010.
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#2 of 31 Old 09-20-2009, 08:42 PM
 
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SO glad ds is no longer 4! That was the absolute worst age. Do lots of deep breathing. Make sure he is getting as much sleep as possible and having frequent snacks. Good luck!

Btw, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys is a good book for understanding the whole boy aspect.

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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#3 of 31 Old 09-20-2009, 10:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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SO glad ds is no longer 4! That was the absolute worst age. Do lots of deep breathing. Make sure he is getting as much sleep as possible and having frequent snacks. Good luck!

Btw, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys is a good book for understanding the whole boy aspect.
Thanks for the encouragement and the book recommendation! Of course today my DS was totally happy and fun and not aggressive, lol. Though he IS very demanding of our attention, always.

It's funny you should mention the snacks -- I realized that he hadn't eaten any lunch at one point and although he said he wasn't hungry, I made myself a snack knowing he'd probably want some of it. I was aware that if he were getting hungry we might be headed for trouble.

Formerly New Mama to Henry, born August 2005 and Silas, born November 2010.
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#4 of 31 Old 09-20-2009, 10:08 PM
 
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I used to have to do that, too, fix myself food he liked and then share it. Because it had to be his idea and if I asked him if he was hungry and he said no he'd get mad at me if I gave him food.

It does get better, I've lived to tell the tale.

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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#5 of 31 Old 09-20-2009, 10:34 PM
 
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I have a four year old DD. She'll be five in December, but the last six months have been the worst of our parenting experience. Oddly enough, DD is fabulous- she listens well, is generally helpful, doesn't lie or make messes, doesn't get into things that she shouldn't, is extremely verbal and can carry on a perfectly decent conversation.

The problem is THE DRAMA.

OMG THE DRAMA.

In too much of a hurry to let her choose her clothes this morning? Heart-wrenching sobs.

Doesn't get her exact preferred foods at dinner? Heart-wrenching sobs.

Daddy is exhausted after work and can't play with her immediately? You guessed it! Heart-wrenching sobs.


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#6 of 31 Old 09-21-2009, 10:49 AM
 
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I'll admit I used to see other kids who behaved this way and be a little smug that MY precious baby wasn't like THOSE kids, and obviously they just weren't parented right. Uh, yeah.
This was me. Everyone talked about the "terrible twos" and I would shrug...they weren't that bad for us. My two year old could sit at a restaurant for an hour with good manners & walk out smiling.

Three wasn't that bad, either. My sweet little guy.

Four is kicking me to the ground and I am begging for mercy. It is such a time of extremes!



Because when Adam is having a good day, he is the most awesome kid in the whole wide world. He woke up this morning in a fantastic mood, got dressed by himself, happily ate breakfast, MADE HIS BED, brushed his teeth/washed his face, and got his backpack for school. I dropped him off & he gave me a hug: "I love you always, mom!" and trotted right in.

You wouldn't have known that yesterday, I was going to put the child on craigslist if he did not. stop. pushing. his. sister.

And the sassy pants? Wow. "Mom, I have already told you that I do not want to go inside. No. N. O." "Mom, I am not going. Nope." (and he runs away across the yard).

Oh, I could go on. But I won't. You probably all know what I'm talking about. NM, I can't thank you enough for this thread. I was thinking this weekend of reinventing our DDC, because I was at my wit's end.

I gave up coffee on Friday, and I am not sure I can parent without it....

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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#7 of 31 Old 09-21-2009, 10:53 AM
 
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[QUOTE=4evermom;14411582Make sure he is getting as much sleep as possible and having frequent snacks.[/QUOTE]

You are so right. I have been an at-home mom for the last few years with two littles, and bedtimes have always been sort of flexible for us. I have found that everyone is doing so much better (me, included) when the kids' heads hit the pillows by 8pm. They are actually sleeping better/longer when they go to bed earlier.

And snacks - wow. Serious eating going on over here. He ate more than I did for lunch yesterday.

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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#8 of 31 Old 09-21-2009, 10:54 AM
 
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OMG I AM WITH YOU!

M2B, my 4yo DD is also full of drama. AND she's got the pushy disease, NM speaks of, as well.

I want to sell her. I'm just afraid no one would buy. :

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#9 of 31 Old 09-21-2009, 10:56 AM
 
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HA! I love this thread!

I have twin 4 yr old (or will be in Oct) DDs and the DRAMA.....UGGGHHHH!

One DD is super drama all.the.time. It would be funny if it did not drive me crazy. She is also very bright and does not stop talking. Ever. Even in her sleep.LOL.

Other DD is just emotionally sensitive and has some SNs.

It is good to know that my previously very good girls arent the only ones that have morphed into defiant,limit pushing kids!!!

KC
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#10 of 31 Old 09-21-2009, 11:05 AM
 
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I'm finding 4 a little better than 3....but still rough! My ds has developed such an attitude. It's like he's 4 going on 14. He sighs and groans and rolls his eyes at me....and all manners have gone out the window. He asks for things by saying, loudly, "where's my apple?" or "get my apple right now!" I usually ask him to rephrase. The most frustrating thing for me right now is that he still won't dress himself or do other self-care tasks (like wiping himself after pottying). I know he's able to do it, but he just figures it's easier to make me do it.

lady.gif mama to H. 4/05 and A. 9/08 and baby C. 10/11

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#11 of 31 Old 09-21-2009, 12:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Mama2Bug View Post
I have a four year old DD. She'll be five in December, but the last six months have been the worst of our parenting experience. Oddly enough, DD is fabulous- she listens well, is generally helpful, doesn't lie or make messes, doesn't get into things that she shouldn't, is extremely verbal and can carry on a perfectly decent conversation.

The problem is THE DRAMA.

OMG THE DRAMA.

In too much of a hurry to let her choose her clothes this morning? Heart-wrenching sobs.

Doesn't get her exact preferred foods at dinner? Heart-wrenching sobs.

Daddy is exhausted after work and can't play with her immediately? You guessed it! Heart-wrenching sobs.

You have described my dd who is 4 EXACTLY. She is a sweet wonderful child but the drama? It is maddening, yesterday we were supposed to go apple picking with friends and their 3 yo dd. Well at the last moment they has to cancel for a pretty good reason.

Oh my! The drama that ensued made me almost lose my mind, I knew she would be upset but we still went apple picking. Yet for over an hour it was drama, drama and more drama. If things are not exactly what she wants, its madness.

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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#12 of 31 Old 09-22-2009, 10:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This was me. Everyone talked about the "terrible twos" and I would shrug...they weren't that bad for us. My two year old could sit at a restaurant for an hour with good manners & walk out smiling.

Three wasn't that bad, either. My sweet little guy.

Four is kicking me to the ground and I am begging for mercy. It is such a time of extremes!



Because when Adam is having a good day, he is the most awesome kid in the whole wide world. He woke up this morning in a fantastic mood, got dressed by himself, happily ate breakfast, MADE HIS BED, brushed his teeth/washed his face, and got his backpack for school. I dropped him off & he gave me a hug: "I love you always, mom!" and trotted right in.

You wouldn't have known that yesterday, I was going to put the child on craigslist if he did not. stop. pushing. his. sister.

And the sassy pants? Wow. "Mom, I have already told you that I do not want to go inside. No. N. O." "Mom, I am not going. Nope." (and he runs away across the yard).

Oh, I could go on. But I won't. You probably all know what I'm talking about. NM, I can't thank you enough for this thread. I was thinking this weekend of reinventing our DDC, because I was at my wit's end.

I gave up coffee on Friday, and I am not sure I can parent without it....
I am totally with you on Henry being perfect in restaurants and the "terrible twos" not being all that bad. And when he's having a good day, like Adam, he's SO delightful. But when things devolve into a power play -- watch out! I really try not to let it go there, but sometimes he's doing something like pulling my sweater out of my hands and stretching it out, or whatever, and I just feel like yanking it back and stomping off. Which of course is the opposite of what I want to be modeling for him. It's so hard to stay calm and be a good example sometimes, though.

We should reinvent our DDC -- except that most of us are on Facebook now!

And funny about the coffee -- this morning Henry woke up at 5:45 after a night of him tossing and turning and keeping me away, and he immediately wanted me to get up and play. I moaned and groaned about being tired, and he said, "You can make some coffee first." Lol!

To everyone else -- thanks for chiming in. I guess I'm not alone! That helps...a little.

Formerly New Mama to Henry, born August 2005 and Silas, born November 2010.
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#13 of 31 Old 09-22-2009, 11:29 PM
 
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Sha, it just figures I'd find you here I came on looking for bedtime help.

I also agree that two was a piece of cake

WAHMama to Allen (2-10-05) and Alexa (6-27-08)
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#14 of 31 Old 09-23-2009, 11:52 PM
 
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ah, newmama and hopefulfaith! hello! Jack is having quite the dramatic road since 4. Falling to his knees and then resting his head on the floor while sobbing because he didn't get to pour the milk, decided after he finished that he actually wanted to eat something else instead, his sock is twisted, he needs to check something on the computer and screens are off.

Four is rough - five is smoother and I'm finding 6 to be a love affair with mom. I have hope having come through this once that we will come through again, but my is it draining.

Good to see you ladies!
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#15 of 31 Old 09-24-2009, 02:37 AM
 
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farmlife, yay!! It's good to see you!!

NM, I'm loving the fact that H told you you could make coffee first. My two went out to breakfast with dh at a local place on Saturday morning (their tradition) and the server asked where their mommy was (I never go). Adam helpfully told her that "Mom likes to drink coffee in her pajamas in the mornings."

You're so right about the power plays -- I realized the other day that a situation was turning into a "no turning back" power issue for both of us. It is SO hard not to want to throw a tiny fit myself sometimes, tbh. I try to remind myself, like you, that this isn't the behavior I want to model...but it is a struggle for me, too.



Is anyone else's 4 year old EATING like crazy? I tallied up what my son ate today. He ate more than me.

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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#16 of 31 Old 09-24-2009, 10:42 PM
 
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Funny, mine hardly eats anything. I don't know how he stays alive Really I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't nursing still. He gets a lot of nutrition from it, still.

Mine eats a good amount for breakfast, a small lunch, and not a lot for dinner, most days. I guess that is why he is hungry in the mornings...

WAHMama to Allen (2-10-05) and Alexa (6-27-08)
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#17 of 31 Old 09-24-2009, 10:49 PM
 
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These posts are scaring me. DS2 just turned four two days ago. I've been hanging on by my nails to get through three. Three was much harder than two with him. I was seriously looking for some relief with four.

With our first son, four was easier than three. Five was easier than four. Six has been easier than five. I hope our DS2 repeats the pattern of four being easier than three. Because three has been such a crazy ride with him, my nerves are ragged, I've developed an eye twitch, and I'm not sure I can deal with it getting harder instead of easier right now !!

DS1 March 2003DS2 Sept 2005,
and 3 , in our happy secular
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#18 of 31 Old 09-28-2009, 11:36 PM
 
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Yeah, I am kinda loosing my mind . I can't believe what I walk in on sometimes. I mean, today my Ds cut open his feather pillow and was pulling the feathers out throwing them everywhere, and I mean everywhere!
Yesterday he had his little frog aquarium on the floor holding one (they are the size of a nickel) when he KNOWS VERY CLEARY that they are not to come out of their water. UUUUUGGGHHHHH! That is not the worst of it, it is when I try to ask why he did what he did, or I make it clear that it is not ok to do that and he acts like he doesn't hear me. I have to get VERY serious or issue time outs, take away toys, whatever, so I get a little response that he hears me. It is truely maddening. Had a rough day. Although, he was worn out from a busy weekend, when he doesn't get his sleep, it is even worse.

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The fruit of the spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, gentleness and self control.:
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#19 of 31 Old 09-29-2009, 11:43 AM
 
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Back again to chat...

I am feeling like an awful mother because I am sick of the day-to-day hassles with my 4-year-old. I feel like I'm nagging him, he's not listening, I'm losing my patience, I don't know how to stop the cycle. Some examples:

Dressing himself. Ds goes to pre-k every day. He gets up around 7:30, and we have to leave for school at about 8:45. Ds likes to play a little before he gets dressed. I keep reminding him it's time to get dressed. He ignores me. I set the timer, so we have 5 minutes to get dressed. He keeps refusing to dress himself and he asks what happens if he's not dressed when the timer rings. Um, I don't know. I don't have any particular consequence to back it up. Ds tells me that I should dress him, because he doesn't like to do it. I get more and more annoyed, it gets later and later. I work on getting the baby dressed. Eventually either I do it for him, or I nag him into doing it himself. By then, we're both in a bad mood. I've tried a star chart, but ds lost interest after a couple days, and I'm tired of bribes (dh is a big believer in bribes).

Micromanaging play. It's not fun for me when ds tells me exactly what to do/say when we're playing, and then blows up at me if I fumble my line, or forget what I'm supposed to say. I'm often dividing my attention between ds and my one-year-old, and I'm distracted and can't remember exactly what ds wants me to do. And I'm just sick of playing hide and seek over and over. It's gotten so I don't really like playing with him, and I avoid it. This makes me feel awful.

Acting goofy. Sometimes ds will run around the house trashing everything and yelling and just being silly. He'll dump out all his toy boxes, take all the cushions off the couch and chairs, etc. etc. He refuses to help me clean it up. I plead, I joke, I try to make it a game to clean up. He says, you do it yourself. While he trashes the house, he yells in a loud voice, mostly to scare or amuse his little sister. Eventually I clean everything up, while feeling angry and resentful.

Shopping. Ds doesn't watch where he's going, and he's often jumping around or dancing, and I'm terrified someone's going to hit him with a cart, or step on him, or he's going to get hurt. Is it unrealistic to expect him to walk calmly through a store with me? And then he begs for me to buy him all sorts of things--toys, food, junk. Ugh.

Meanwhile, I feel like I'm favoring dd, because she's just a baby and more fun to spend time with. I hate seeing myself doing this, and I try to catch it and stop it, but it's really hard.

Thanks for listening, I'm just feeling so burned out right now. Any ideas or suggestions would be much appreciated.

lady.gif mama to H. 4/05 and A. 9/08 and baby C. 10/11

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#20 of 31 Old 09-29-2009, 03:41 PM
 
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Back again to chat...

I am feeling like an awful mother because I am sick of the day-to-day hassles with my 4-year-old. I feel like I'm nagging him, he's not listening, I'm losing my patience, I don't know how to stop the cycle. Some examples:

Dressing himself. Ds goes to pre-k every day. He gets up around 7:30, and we have to leave for school at about 8:45. Ds likes to play a little before he gets dressed. I keep reminding him it's time to get dressed. He ignores me. I set the timer, so we have 5 minutes to get dressed. He keeps refusing to dress himself and he asks what happens if he's not dressed when the timer rings. Um, I don't know. I don't have any particular consequence to back it up. Ds tells me that I should dress him, because he doesn't like to do it. I get more and more annoyed, it gets later and later. I work on getting the baby dressed. Eventually either I do it for him, or I nag him into doing it himself. By then, we're both in a bad mood. I've tried a star chart, but ds lost interest after a couple days, and I'm tired of bribes (dh is a big believer in bribes).
Oh MY ..this is my son too. OY! I have actually started having him sleep in the clothes he'll wear for the next day We don't have nearly the stress we had before. Sure he's a bit rumpled but I don't care.

Quote:
Acting goofy. Sometimes ds will run around the house trashing everything and yelling and just being silly. He'll dump out all his toy boxes, take all the cushions off the couch and chairs, etc. etc. He refuses to help me clean it up. I plead, I joke, I try to make it a game to clean up. He says, you do it yourself. While he trashes the house, he yells in a loud voice, mostly to scare or amuse his little sister. Eventually I clean everything up, while feeling angry and resentful.
I feel for you mama. DS will be 4 in a month & he is a hurricane. I finally downsized his toys & it has become so much more managable. He still has a hard time picking up so I help him A LOT.

Quote:
Shopping. Ds doesn't watch where he's going, and he's often jumping around or dancing, and I'm terrified someone's going to hit him with a cart, or step on him, or he's going to get hurt. Is it unrealistic to expect him to walk calmly through a store with me? And then he begs for me to buy him all sorts of things--toys, food, junk. Ugh.
For my DS, yes it is unrealistic to take him with me. It just is. I used to think I was such a great parent b/c DD NEVER asked/cried/begged for anything in a store...of course, that was due to my stellar parenting skills. Um NO! DS is banned from Target, Trader Joe's, Staples, basically anyplace that has anything.

I find with my DS I have stay aware of where is is at at any given moment. Most of his behavior issues have to do with still needing a nap, despite a 12 hour nightime sleep, & needing to eat frequently. He also has to be in bed by 7:30 & if I miss that by even a few minutes...we both pay badly. It's so tough.

When his behavior is this bad, I have a hard time remembering the sweet little boy I love so much. I am going to a talk thurs. night by this author

http://www.amazon.com/Way-Boys-Raisi...4249589&sr=1-1

I'm hoping to get some things out of it that will help me be more patient with DS.

Lola , loving my DH, Mama to & we &
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#21 of 31 Old 10-01-2009, 06:30 PM
 
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DD was a great 2 y/o and a lovely 3 y/o. 4 is a different story. "NO" and "I don't like that" are her favorite words. The other day DH said, "This IS a phase, right? This WILL end, right?"
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#22 of 31 Old 10-01-2009, 07:54 PM
 
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I want to join. I had a really hard time with 3. I was a working mom until a week before DD's birthday and I swear that overnight she changed. I blamed it on myself, of course. By the time her 4th birthday was approaching, we were in such a great groove. But the something changed again. Now I find myself losing patience with her all day long. I know it's easy (and expected) to lose your patience with a 4-year-old but I don't like the way I am acting. I am also 32 weeks pregnant and raising her alone during the week b/c of my DH's work hours which I'm sure has a lot to do with it. But DD is not making it easy either.

We have the daily struggle with getting dressed, doing our hair, etc. that some of you have mentioned.

We have the angry talk (e.g. "Mama, make me my lunch NOW.") that I just don't know how to handle.

We have the whining, the LOUD back-talk (which is so embarassing b/c we live in a building with very thin walls), and the constant "No. I don't want to."

Now she has also decided that she can dictate when she goes to her activities (most of which I no longer take her to. I just take her to gym occasionally b/c she "quit" and then "restarted" so many times that I am losing a huge chunk of money b/c of it). Today, for example, I drove her all the way to her gym class (which she was really excited about) only to get there and have her tell me that she didn't want to go in b/c she didn't like the person who was teaching it today. I told her we are not going back and she told me she didn't care. Nice.

I feel like it is my fault. That I am raising a spoiled kid. That I don't know what I am doing. I find myself doing things I really don't want to do all the time -- negotiating, threatning, time outs, etc. I know my attitude is affecting her b/c the way she "disciplines" her dolls breaks my heart (and also embarasses me). At the same time, when I need to get her hair done at 7:30am and she is telling me "No. I don't want to." as if that is an option...I don't know what else I can do?!

Ugh. All this is to say, I feel your pain.
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#23 of 31 Old 10-13-2009, 02:43 AM
 
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I have a 4 year old dd too. She is doing many of the things mentioned here.

I also have a 6 year old and the mediating I have to do between them makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes.
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#24 of 31 Old 10-13-2009, 10:39 AM
 
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Another mom with a 4 year old drama queen here

It was REALLY bad for a while, especially during my last few weeks of pregnancy with DS and the first month after he was born. We must have heard "I hate you." 20 times a day. I ended up starting her on Calms Forte to get her sleeping better and so far it has helped tremendously. She only throws one fit a day usually, lol, instead of the constant anger and rage she was having all day, everyday. I ran out of calms last week and couldn't get to the store for 2 days and it was really rough - she was tossing and turning in her sleep again, waking up every hour or so, moaning in her sleep and waking up in the am in a really bad mood.

2 and 3 were WONDERFUL with DD. 4 has been, lets just say "challenging". I don't know if I would have had another kid if I knew this was in my future I also cut out anything and everything with red dye in it. She seems to become really uncontrollable when she ingests it and she just can't stop herself. Time outs no longer work with her, she screams bloody murder when you tell her to go to time out, and makes it sound like we're beating her, which in turn gets us all riled up and yelling over her yelling, and it becomes a vicious circle that I don't want in my house.

When she has a "fit" as I call them, I walk away now. I tell her calmly that I won't listen to her until she can talk to me calmly and tell me what she wants or needs and that I will not be screamed or yelled at. I go into another room and usually within a few minutes she calms down without an audience and comes calmly looking for me. Than she can communicate what she needs/wants and we move on. Of course at school she is really good and doesn't do any of this to her teachers, lol. It is reserved for mom and dad only

Loving WAHM/Student Mommy to DD (6.5) and DS (2.5)  

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#25 of 31 Old 10-13-2009, 08:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by village idiot View Post
I have a 4 year old dd too. She is doing many of the things mentioned here.

I also have a 6 year old and the mediating I have to do between them makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes.
The mediating between my dd (3 next month) and my 4 year old is driving me insane today.

I'm taking a breather on MDC while they're playing Legos. They must play in the same room as me these days so that I can monitor fighting/arguing/physical issues. I am tired. Hugs, mama. You aren't alone!

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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#26 of 31 Old 10-14-2009, 04:21 PM
 
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I also notice that DS gets even hareder to deal with when he gets less sleep, consumes red dye, or is on the verge of getting sick.

Keeping red dye away from him is key.
Getting plenty of sleep is also key. This means bed time at 7 or 7:30 period!
I try to have patience if I see a cold coming on. This isn't always easy because it could be a week in advance that he starts to act out.

Molly, Mama, living in the burbs with a beehive and chicken coop,  herb student, gardener, crunchy and preggers with #3, due Nov 4th.flower.gif
The fruit of the spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, gentleness and self control.:
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#27 of 31 Old 10-14-2009, 09:29 PM
 
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I always knew I wasn't alone! Thank heavens for this thread! Now I'll have to start spending more time on MDC again. My DS just turned 4 a month ago and he was pre-four at about 3.5 when something changed overnight. Now that he is actually four it is even worse. We are fighting all the time and I never know what a good consequence is.

He's moody, whiny, cranky, rude, mean, annoying, at his worst (gee, I guess that's me too!). But he's sweet, funny, loving at his best.

He ignores me, flat out refuses to do what he's asked (or more often TOLD to do these days as what's the point of asking any more?!), does things to be mean to his 2yo brother.

THE WORST PART: is the SCREAMING. At.the.top.of.his.lungs... And yes, it's the littlest things that set him off too... like this morning:
Me: Darn it, daddy didn't finish the porridge so it will be a few more minutes before we can eat.
DS: Wails, screams "I don't want that. I am not eating that."
Me: Sorry DS, this is what's for breakfast"
then he cries and screams and convulses on the kitchen floor for 15-minutes.

No it is not the fabulous fours...it's the effing fours and this thread makes me feel just a little bit better about it knowing I am not alone...until he wakes up tomorrow and we have to start it all over again.

Good luck everyone!

~Mama to Skye (5) and Oden (3)
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#28 of 31 Old 10-15-2009, 12:39 AM
 
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Yes yes yes. Micromanaging play - drives me batty. Clothes - "Mooooom! Just let me do my thing!" Trying to tame the wild beast and prevent her from hitting her little sister in her frustration during play, "You guys are making me MORE ANGRY!"

Getting sick means the whininess amps up. Also lack of sleep, eating candy. Yeah.

Thank goodness for my Mother's Little Helper

ETA - good thing she is so beautiful, smart, wonderful, sensitive and kind at other times.

wash.gif  Me  + bikenew.gif Dh =  broc1.gif  Dd1(9 yrs) + hearts.gif  Dd2(6 yrs) and blowkiss.gif Ds(3.5 yrs)
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#29 of 31 Old 10-15-2009, 10:18 AM
 
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We have noticed some positive changes recently, some negative and just plain changes.

DS seems to be able to entertain himself more, which is nice.

Not so nice changes:

I basically can't take him out to stores. He races around like a maniac.
Backtalk, "I hate you", NO! at ear splitting levels
The return of hitting when frustrated

Other changes:

Needs to go to eat and go to bed MUCH earlier than before. This is interesting. Up until recently, we were very laid back with bed and meal times and it seemed to have no effect on DS, he rolled with it. All of a sudden, it has become very important to be fed and put to bed earlier.

DH and I are recognizing area where we need to be more consistant with DS.

Mom to DS, born fall 05 after ,,, wife/best friend to DH We have
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#30 of 31 Old 10-15-2009, 05:26 PM
 
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Hugs from another Aug 05 mama! I have found that confronting Annabelle and detaching has helped with the drama and the BLAMING (oh, the blaming) so much. For example, yesterday she wanted me to draw a picture of Cinderella for her. With crayons. I told her that I would be able to draw a much better picture with a pencil and then color it with crayons. No, mama. You must draw with crayons. So, I did and it came out crappy and she got sooooooo sad and upset.

Do it over! I don't like it! Do it over!

And I just had to say, "You asked me to draw with crayons. I told you it wouldn't turn out well. You insisted. It was your choice. I'm sorry you are sad, but that was your choice." Hugs and kisses. On to the next thing.

This is hard for me and I do feel like the BI*&H in her life, but at the end of the day I think it's more powerful for her to be left with the consequences of her choices than for me to make everything OK for her. Poor thing.

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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