Mean things kids say... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 2 Old 09-24-2009, 12:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am having a terrible time dealing with my two boys 2.5yo and 4yo. They bicker alot, which is bad enough, but the mean things that they say are what send me over the edge. It just breaks my heart to hear them say hurtful things to each other. My 4yo has introduced these phrases that my 2yo has now picked up, but it's mostly the 4yo. I'm thinking they originated at school. I never had a close sibling relationship, so I don't know how much impact this really has. Can you tell me if I'm being over-sensitive and also how you would deal with this. Here are some examples:

You are NOT my best friend anymore!

You are a goo-goo boy! (name calling with intent, but without an actual "bad word!")

I don't love you anymore!

If you don't do X, then I'm going not going to be your friend anymore!


All of these are said in anger, followed by storming off or a melt down.

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
#2 of 2 Old 09-24-2009, 10:06 AM
 
ChetMC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 2,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Our girls are closer in age so it isn't the exact same situation. However, I can tell you that even though our 4 year old has not been to school she still says stuff like, "you're not my friend anymore" to her sister. Our older DD is more inclined toward silly name calling (you're a goo-goo boo-boo type stuff) which our younger DD sometimes finds funny and sometimes gets upset about.

I do think it's normal for siblings to go through cycles of getting along, having a spat, and then moving on. Our girls can move their beds. Sometimes they push them together to make one big bed, and other times they push them as far apart as they'll go.

We mostly leave the kids alone to resolve their issues. We impose a few general rules... like when kids play together it must be fun for everybody who is playing, but I don't intervene and make judgment calls.

One thing you might try is helping your kids to say what they really mean. Instead of "if you don't do x then I'm not your friend" it's probably more accurate to say, "if you don't want to do x then I want to play by myself."

Julie - Mom to Elizabeth (Libby) age 6, Penelope (Penny) age 5, Elliott age 29 months, and Oscar who is 1 year old!
ChetMC is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off