Who wants to chat about three year olds? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 10-02-2009, 03:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

I am having such a tough time with my three year old and I am really curious about all of the other three year olds in this world. Does it tend to be a tough age? What are all of your three year olds doing right now?

Harvest is reverting back to his babyhood and only wants me. He cries and whines all day long that he wants me to hold him and tells me he his a little baby. He screams and throws temper tantrums (which he has never done before) and this morning I had the hardest time getting into the shower because he was screaming and flipping out. He wanted to come with me! I am trying to be sensitive and hold him as much as I can but I am tired and worn out. This is definitely a hard age for us with pushing limits, ignoring me and doing whatever he wants...

I am just beside myself.

Anyone want to share so that I feel a little better here? What are your three year olds going through and how are you dealing?

Joyful mama of 3.
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#2 of 23 Old 10-02-2009, 03:14 PM
 
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My 3 year old is definitely trying most days. My older son went through this at 3 as well.

Distraction still works really well if I catch him before he completely melts down. And bedtime is seriously my favorite part of some days.

I think at 3, they're figuring out they aren't really babies, as scary as that can be.
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#3 of 23 Old 10-02-2009, 06:51 PM
 
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For us, we had a really hard time around the start of age 3 for about 2 months, and then things were great until a little over 3.5. Now, we're at 3.75 and things are better than a month ago but not easy. For us, dd has to be with me all the time and she wants to do everything herself. She also is going through this phase of being destructive which is hard to redirect, especially when she's wanting to hit my face. I keep hoping 4 will be better.

Allison:  a little bit Waldorf, a little bit Medievalish, and always"MOMMMMYYYY!" to sweet Cecily since 12.22.05
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#4 of 23 Old 10-02-2009, 09:43 PM
 
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Three has been trying for us as well. Lots of pushing boundaries and fits too.
A lot of defiance. If I say "no" he says "yes" We are working on it but yes, it's exhausting.

April thankful mommy to my boys Big Red 3/06 Little Z 9/08 and happily awaiting the arrival of 10/10 :
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#5 of 23 Old 10-02-2009, 10:57 PM
 
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DD was REALLY whiny and clingy off and on throughout the last few months, up until a few weeks ago. This last week in particular has been LOVELY. She hasn't had even a tiny pee accident in almost 2 weeks (which is a record for her by a landslide!) and she's so happy and agreeable and just generally wonderful. That said, it was like a switch was flipped or something, because before this stretch of heaven, she was CONSTANTLY whining, begging me to "PLAY WITH ME!" even when the timing makes it pretty much impossible, peeing her pants sometimes, being defiant and contrary. I'm hoping this nice phase lasts at least as long as the more challenging one did!

I teach middle school and I'm always joking that a 3 year old isn't much different than a 13 year old. They are both trying to awkwardly settle into who they are and where they fit in their world. They are both prone to over-react and be completely self-centered. But they are also both really fun to be around and exciting to watch learn!
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#6 of 23 Old 10-02-2009, 11:12 PM
 
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My twins are horrible right now. Dh and I are about to lose our minds. They are reverting in potty training, the whining and temper tantrums are extreme. We often wonder why people call it the "terrible two's" b/c 3 is SOOO much worse. My dh calls it the "impossible 3's" which I think fits perfectly. I'm hoping that 4 will be better!

single mommy to identical twin girls (3/06) Non-traditional mama just : through life.
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#7 of 23 Old 10-03-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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i'm in the thick of it too with a 3 yo, and have a newborn, too.

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#8 of 23 Old 10-03-2009, 01:41 PM
 
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2 was a cake walk. 3 is the challenge.

I subscribe to Scott Noelle's daily groove and it keeps e a bit sane a bit.

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#9 of 23 Old 10-04-2009, 11:36 AM
 
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I just came here to ask for help with my 3yo. 2's were hard and now 3's are even harder. He has always been a sports boy and discovered throwing very early. Now he is very good at it and always uses it when angry and it gets very dangerous around here as anger shoots up every day at least. Then the hitting, hair pulling, kicking. Usually it is followed by letting out gas or pooping, so while I think they are related, my dh doesn't and insists on punishing. I have resorted to all sorts of punishment (putting toys that are thrown away, bringing him to his room and closing the door with me in there until he calms down, and today, I threw the colored pencils away that were shot at me), they don't seem to work and I can't take it any more. I cry daily now. I also have an almost 9yo who has anxiety issues and this hadn't helped. I would love to try Fiengold, but dh doesn't agree and I know won't back me. It's too big of a deal to do on my own - emotionally. Any help would be greatl appreciated!!
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#10 of 23 Old 10-04-2009, 02:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dawncayden View Post
2 was a cake walk. 3 is the challenge.

I subscribe to Scott Noelle's daily groove and it keeps e a bit sane a bit.
I subscribe also..... I don't read them everyday though.

I am soooo sad and depressed regarding my 3 year old. Two was incredibly frustrating because he was later to talk and very aggressive. I was constantly redirecting him and appologising about his behavior, but with me he was generally fun to be around and into doing things with me.

Three is ok in the agression toward other kids department, but its ME he can't stand! I do have a 5 month old so its hard to give him 1 on 1 now. But I am so tired of him everyday because he is: loud LOUD LOUD and obnonxious and argumentative and rude and deaf to everything I say. Which makes me yell, and makes me feel like a bad mom.

Its brain frying because he never stops with the noises, whining, yelling, beeping, truck sounds, monster sounds, growling at me......and he totally acts like a teenager sometimes "leave me alone" "shut up" "I want my dad" (when I try to punish him he runs downstairs to my husbands shop)

Oh yes. 3 is a nightmare. He is also in preschool and I die a little bit when I pick him up hoping that he didn't give them too much trouble.

mama to L (4) and G (1.5)
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#11 of 23 Old 10-04-2009, 03:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
We often wonder why people call it the "terrible two's" b/c 3 is SOOO much worse. My dh calls it the "impossible 3's" which I think fits perfectly. I'm hoping that 4 will be better!
This, exactly. Two's were nowhere near as chellenging.
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#12 of 23 Old 10-04-2009, 03:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lotus.blossom View Post
Three is ok in the agression toward other kids department, but its ME he can't stand! I do have a 5 month old so its hard to give him 1 on 1 now. But I am so tired of him everyday because he is: loud LOUD LOUD and obnonxious and argumentative and rude and deaf to everything I say. Which makes me yell, and makes me feel like a bad mom.

Its brain frying because he never stops with the noises, whining, yelling, beeping, truck sounds, monster sounds, growling at me......and he totally acts like a teenager sometimes "leave me alone" "shut up" "I want my dad" (when I try to punish him he runs downstairs to my husbands shop)

Oh yes. 3 is a nightmare. He is also in preschool and I die a little bit when I pick him up hoping that he didn't give them too much trouble.
OMG, are you me?! Except my dh doesn't have a shop downstairs, so I get to have the joy of him being obnoxious exclusively. *sigh*
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#13 of 23 Old 10-07-2009, 04:29 PM
 
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Then the hitting, hair pulling, kicking. Usually it is followed by letting out gas or pooping, so while I think they are related,
YES !!! I do TOOO!!!! ds1 is 3 and 6 mo now, I also have ds2 , who is 10 months and will cry because ds1 is SCREAMING< YELLING< CRYING!!

when ds2 is tired and starts to cry, ds1 "falls"down on the floor SCREAMING< pretend crying, saying: I fell over, Jona cried!!!!

@ lotusblossom: yep yep yep, same here!!!
Quote:
its hard to give him 1 on 1 now. But I am so tired of him everyday because he is: loud LOUD LOUD and obnonxious and argumentative and rude and deaf to everything I say. Which makes me yell, and makes me feel like a bad mom.

Its brain frying because he never stops with the noises, whining, yelling, beeping, truck sounds, monster sounds, growling at me......and he totally acts like a teenager sometimes "leave me alone" "shut up" "I want my dad
And: be quiet mom!!!



TIRED am I....

sigh, he also ALWAYS wants to nurse, when I am on the phone, sitting down, like ANY Time!! And at night again tooo..... when I say no he screams and wakes up ds2...... who starts to cry, so I have to nurse ds2 and then cannot denie ds1 (cannot say: milk is gone, I need to make more, so I need to sleep!!!) .... sigh.....

Mom of two boys, 2.5 y and 5 y
Tandemnursing, CD, delayed Vax, AP
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#14 of 23 Old 10-07-2009, 09:26 PM
 
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Ugh... Yeah I've been feeling guilty lately for being so tired of annoyed with my almost 3 1/2year-old. He just runs and jumps everywhere continually "accidentally" knocking over and bumping into his newly walking sister. He's like this amped up wind up monkey most of the time and it drives me nuts. It's been intensified lately becasue it's been raining for the past week and a half.
He goes to preschool 3 X's a week so that's good but even for the time that he's home unless he's napping or watching sometime.

DH isn't much help he just get's his food and eats it downstairs in his office while he's "working" I think it's just an excuse to be able to enjoy his dinner quietly.....w/ out much help or support it makes it harder to stay patient.

glad it hear it seems to start getting better aroun 3 1/2! I hope it's so in our case!
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#15 of 23 Old 10-07-2009, 11:32 PM
 
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Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you for this thread! My ds is 3.5 and it has been really hard lately. I HATE repeating everything I ask him 20 times. I know he is just trying to find his way and it is a stressful time for him. He told me last night after a particular hard day, and 1/2 hr of uncontrollable crying at bedtime (him, not me ) that he "just wants to break the house down. Smash it with a hammer!Right now! PLease mom?" It really helped me to get inside his head for a moment and see how frustrated and at-odds he is right now. Must be some crazy developmental stuff going on right now!
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#16 of 23 Old 10-08-2009, 12:44 PM
 
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My dd just turned 3 and it's like a switch turned. All of a sudden she's breaking down over the littlest frustrations. She gets especially upset when she insists on doing something herself, but can't really do it so gets angry when she doesn't get the results she wants. Like this morning, she wanted yogurt that had fruit on the bottom, but wouldn't let me mix it up. So she ate the plain yogurt on the top, then had a fit about the "dirty" yogurt at the bottom.

But at the same time, she can be tremendously sweet: we had a fantastic time playing games last night because she's starting to get rules of the game and taking turns and playing WITH people, not just instructing us on what to do.

Sarah, mama to Miriam 9/26/2006 and Isaac 2/12/2010
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#17 of 23 Old 10-08-2009, 12:55 PM
 
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Our biggest issue right now is the bossiness and tantruming. He'll want something and then whine to me that he wants it. If I don't jump up right that second and do it, he's screaming "mama! I told you get me....right now!" Drives me batty. Hopefully he'll realize soon that that doesn't work and stop doing it.

The sometimes napping/sometimes not napping isn't helping things either. He's such a joy when he's well rested, but when he's not, ugh.

Now to share a cute moment: he was sitting on my lap last night reading books to himself. He finished one and said "that woneful (wonderful) book mama"
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#18 of 23 Old 10-08-2009, 02:43 PM
 
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3 is hard. I don't know why everyone talks about the terrible 2's (dd was great at 2!). I think ther really, really terrible threes are more accurate.

DD is 4 now and things are so so much better. There were peaks and valleys all over year 3. It will even out, but hold on, it's a bumpy ride...good luck!

fridgeart, lucky mum to E (5) and Ro (2)
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#19 of 23 Old 10-08-2009, 06:20 PM
 
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I have found my tribe! lol! My twin boys just turned 3 this week. They have been trying my patience sorely. One of them takes particular delight in shrieking at the top of his lungs. All.The.Time. I joke that they take turns being the evil twin.

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
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#20 of 23 Old 10-08-2009, 08:51 PM
 
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I'm so glad to hear that I am not alone. I felt very alone during the 2's because very few of my friends had the agressive child.

Anyway, the repetition has been getting me lately. Today we went for a walk and he saw a dead mouse and for the rest of the afternoon it was: Mama, I wanna tell you. I saw a mouse. 10 minutes later: Mama I wanna TELL you, I saw a mouse!!!!!! And of course we talk about it and aknowledge it but still he is like a broken record!
And the other thing is when he gets hyper or annoying or hurts me or the baby he says I'm so SORRY! but its not a heartfelt sorry and he'll do the same thing a few minutes later and its so frustrating because he doesn't get why he is sorry.
He has been getting hurt a lot lately (must be going thru a growth spurt) like he was helping me stack wood and dropped a piece on his bare toe and freaked out, but freaked out worse when I told him he couldn't help anymore. Its like if he doesn't have a task he is miserable. I wish I could figure out tasks for him all day long!

mama to L (4) and G (1.5)
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#21 of 23 Old 10-10-2009, 05:56 PM
 
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Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you for this thread! My ds is 3.5 and it has been really hard lately. I HATE repeating everything I ask him 20 times. I know he is just trying to find his way and it is a stressful time for him. He told me last night after a particular hard day, and 1/2 hr of uncontrollable crying at bedtime (him, not me ) that he "just wants to break the house down. Smash it with a hammer!Right now! PLease mom?" It really helped me to get inside his head for a moment and see how frustrated and at-odds he is right now. Must be some crazy developmental stuff going on right now!
My little guy is saying almost the exact same things! He wants to put mud all over the house. Turn the house upside down.. break the house.. etc.. I'm glad to hear it's not just going on here. There are a lot of stresses going on too... separated parents... newish home with new kids to work around... conflicts, etc.. *sigh* I hope it gets easier!! I know that it will...

mama kidlet 1.11.06
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#22 of 23 Old 10-11-2009, 05:35 PM
 
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My little guy is saying almost the exact same things! He wants to put mud all over the house. Turn the house upside down.. break the house.. etc.. I'm glad to hear it's not just going on here. There are a lot of stresses going on too... separated parents... newish home with new kids to work around... conflicts, etc.. *sigh* I hope it gets easier!! I know that it will...
It seems like a really good sign that he can express his feelings and not keep it all bottled up. It is nice to know mine isn't the only one
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#23 of 23 Old 10-11-2009, 09:04 PM
 
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I am soooooo happy to have found this thread. My hubbs and I are at the end of our rope with our 3.25 yo son and really don't know what to do with him...I'm relieved to hear that apparently the issues are age-related. Like others have said here, it really was a like a switch went on at 3 and all of a sudden we have to repeat everything 300 times, he won't do what he's asked to do without us having to threaten or count to 3 or 10, and then he'll do it when we hit 2 or 9...OY. We're also having potty training issues - he's now, thankfully, completely potty trained...if naked. But if he's wearing anything below the waist - pants, pull-ups, underwear he's picked out, whatever - he'll go in them. It is totally maddening because I can't let him go naked in public, and quite frankly I'm tired of seeing a half-naked child around the house all day, but I am out of ideas!
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