http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1145750
There is some background. My almost four year old has developed a fake limp. Which wouldn't be bad except that it makes her really SLOW. And the more we remind her or hold her hand and try to get her to move faster, the more she resists. She used to hold back a bit and kind of drag her feet, now she just throws herself on the ground and kind of goes limp. In the past few days, she's doing this ALL. THE. TIME. It's been going on for a couple of weeks and getting worse, but now it's really bad. She won't run when she plays, she won't won't walk right EVER for ANYTHING.
So today we planned to go to a movie. Ok, the morning didn't start well. We got half way to the vet (hard to get a Saturday appt and it's about 25 miles away) and she freaked out that she had to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW. There is nowhere to stop before the vet and it was fairly far to go so we turned around and stopped at my mom's which was closer than our house. Grab her up and carry her inside because she won't pick up her feet and walk (btw, she's 54 pounds and tall and I'll be spending some time with my chiropractor next week because of this), get her into the bathroom and oh hee hee, guess I didn't have to go. The only upside is that the vet agrees to work us in and my mom said I could leave my child with her.
Anyway, the movie. We get there, get our popcorn (movies, like everything else, are not close. It's 35 miles away and involved a LOT of driving on my part as we had to do the vet too), get seated with much fake limping but I am trying really hard to ignore it. Movie starts. FIVE times she claimed she had to go to the bathroom and then she didn't actually need to go. ALL FIVE TIMES she did that stupid fake limp dawdling crap and just kind of falls on the floor when I try to hurry her. I'm telling her the whole time - we are in the way. We are blocking people. We are missing the movie. The fourth time I said, if you can not stop this then we have to leave. We're ruining it for everyone. We're spending the whole time going to the batrhoom. She had plenty of notice.
The fifth time, when I practically had to DRAG her the whole way there and back on the floor because she wouldn't get up, I said ok. We're going. I carried her AGAIN (my back is killing me), managed to get my husband's attention, and met him outside. We tossed our snacks and left.
She finally figures out I'm serious and gets upset. We had other things planned - shopping for our TorT candy and an early dinner and a place we all like, but those things all involve WALKING and I'm not spending my WHOLE DAY dragging her around.
No, she does not have a real leg/foot/hip problem and no, she does not have any kind of issues making her feel like she has to go to the bathroom. I never fuss about the bathroom fake out because, ya know, you just can't. Sometimes she just gets on these little kicks and honestly? I know that she knows she can make us jump when she says she has to go.
She cried and screamed all the way home. It was a long drive.
I do think leaving was the right thing to do. I could not get up and down every five minutes for two hours. It was not fair to the people behind us, or the people in front as she kept putting her hands along the backs of their chairs and it was clearly ticking off the mom in that group. It's also unfair for me to have to physically draaaag her back and forth and up and down steps.
She was not hungry, bored, or tired. I really think this is something she's got and she knows there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
Generally, we get along great. I'm a SAHM. I'm pretty patient and other than these two things, we don't have a lot of problems. She has a fair amount of input in how her day goes, but not more than she can handle. It's mostly the two of us so it's just not a problem for her to give her input. We take her places as often as we can and she can walk just fine and has been for a long time.
I want to be a good mom. I want to be close to my daughter. My parents never played with us, never took us to movies or plays or zoos. That just wasn't their thing. I ENJOY doing those things with my daughter. I WANT to do them. But this walking thing is becoming just impossible to work around. She is too big for a stroller and too heavy to carry and there is nothing WRONG with her she just needs to STOP.
I have tried ignoring it. I've tried holding her hand and just stepping up the pace, thinking she'll have to move along - she just resists more. I have tried reminding her that she needs to move faster and why (because it would get suck to get stepped on? Or hit by a car? Because I'm not strong enough to drag her?).
I'm just so sad. We had a fun afternoon planned. In my childhood, this would have been a pretty special day. I like us doing things together. But there is nothing you can do when one of you falls down and refuses to walk. I've just had it. I feel so sad because I know she's dissappointed and this was supposed to be fun and now it just sucks. We had plans to do something with my family tonight and we won't be doing that either.
We live so far away from anything. We just wasted $50, not including gas, on this episode. I'm lonley. I have no friends locally. I have my family and now I won't even be getting out to see them. I won't be doing anything. But what else can I do? I can't carry her and she won't walk.
If this was your kid, what would you do?
There is some background. My almost four year old has developed a fake limp. Which wouldn't be bad except that it makes her really SLOW. And the more we remind her or hold her hand and try to get her to move faster, the more she resists. She used to hold back a bit and kind of drag her feet, now she just throws herself on the ground and kind of goes limp. In the past few days, she's doing this ALL. THE. TIME. It's been going on for a couple of weeks and getting worse, but now it's really bad. She won't run when she plays, she won't won't walk right EVER for ANYTHING.
So today we planned to go to a movie. Ok, the morning didn't start well. We got half way to the vet (hard to get a Saturday appt and it's about 25 miles away) and she freaked out that she had to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW. There is nowhere to stop before the vet and it was fairly far to go so we turned around and stopped at my mom's which was closer than our house. Grab her up and carry her inside because she won't pick up her feet and walk (btw, she's 54 pounds and tall and I'll be spending some time with my chiropractor next week because of this), get her into the bathroom and oh hee hee, guess I didn't have to go. The only upside is that the vet agrees to work us in and my mom said I could leave my child with her.
Anyway, the movie. We get there, get our popcorn (movies, like everything else, are not close. It's 35 miles away and involved a LOT of driving on my part as we had to do the vet too), get seated with much fake limping but I am trying really hard to ignore it. Movie starts. FIVE times she claimed she had to go to the bathroom and then she didn't actually need to go. ALL FIVE TIMES she did that stupid fake limp dawdling crap and just kind of falls on the floor when I try to hurry her. I'm telling her the whole time - we are in the way. We are blocking people. We are missing the movie. The fourth time I said, if you can not stop this then we have to leave. We're ruining it for everyone. We're spending the whole time going to the batrhoom. She had plenty of notice.
The fifth time, when I practically had to DRAG her the whole way there and back on the floor because she wouldn't get up, I said ok. We're going. I carried her AGAIN (my back is killing me), managed to get my husband's attention, and met him outside. We tossed our snacks and left.
She finally figures out I'm serious and gets upset. We had other things planned - shopping for our TorT candy and an early dinner and a place we all like, but those things all involve WALKING and I'm not spending my WHOLE DAY dragging her around.
No, she does not have a real leg/foot/hip problem and no, she does not have any kind of issues making her feel like she has to go to the bathroom. I never fuss about the bathroom fake out because, ya know, you just can't. Sometimes she just gets on these little kicks and honestly? I know that she knows she can make us jump when she says she has to go.
She cried and screamed all the way home. It was a long drive.
I do think leaving was the right thing to do. I could not get up and down every five minutes for two hours. It was not fair to the people behind us, or the people in front as she kept putting her hands along the backs of their chairs and it was clearly ticking off the mom in that group. It's also unfair for me to have to physically draaaag her back and forth and up and down steps.
She was not hungry, bored, or tired. I really think this is something she's got and she knows there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
Generally, we get along great. I'm a SAHM. I'm pretty patient and other than these two things, we don't have a lot of problems. She has a fair amount of input in how her day goes, but not more than she can handle. It's mostly the two of us so it's just not a problem for her to give her input. We take her places as often as we can and she can walk just fine and has been for a long time.
I want to be a good mom. I want to be close to my daughter. My parents never played with us, never took us to movies or plays or zoos. That just wasn't their thing. I ENJOY doing those things with my daughter. I WANT to do them. But this walking thing is becoming just impossible to work around. She is too big for a stroller and too heavy to carry and there is nothing WRONG with her she just needs to STOP.
I have tried ignoring it. I've tried holding her hand and just stepping up the pace, thinking she'll have to move along - she just resists more. I have tried reminding her that she needs to move faster and why (because it would get suck to get stepped on? Or hit by a car? Because I'm not strong enough to drag her?).
I'm just so sad. We had a fun afternoon planned. In my childhood, this would have been a pretty special day. I like us doing things together. But there is nothing you can do when one of you falls down and refuses to walk. I've just had it. I feel so sad because I know she's dissappointed and this was supposed to be fun and now it just sucks. We had plans to do something with my family tonight and we won't be doing that either.
We live so far away from anything. We just wasted $50, not including gas, on this episode. I'm lonley. I have no friends locally. I have my family and now I won't even be getting out to see them. I won't be doing anything. But what else can I do? I can't carry her and she won't walk.
If this was your kid, what would you do?