I know you've probably tried it all.
How does she react when you put her to bed earlier or later than her usual time?
Does she nap regularly or occasionally, and if so, how does that affect her bedtime?
Is she better or worse on an exhausting day- one with a lot of outdoor time and exercise?
Does she comply better for one parent or do you tag-team?
I have a 5 1/2YO DD too. Our routine is pretty similar to yours, though thankfully shorter, so you're doing nothing wrong. After stories my DD likes to listen to books on CD that we get from the library (Magic Tree House) or sometimes she looks at maze or find the hidden picture type books. Usually she falls asleep within a short time but sometimes she pops back downstairs after an hour or more of listening to her CD. I figure that on those nights she just needs less sleep. My DH or I walk her back to bed and sometimes we talk about the next day, trying to calm her and help her to focus on something pleasant.
Sometimes when my DD is wound up (she takes asthma meds which often cause her to get a bit wild) we do the routine part early- right after dinner- and then do the quiet family time. Then she can look forward to the fun after she gets all ready for bed. This has helped take the struggle out of the teeth brushing, though it doesn't solve the bedtime dilemma.
Mornings are tough for us too. My DD has to be at school at 8, an hour earlier than preschool last year, and no one in our family is a morning person. I implemented a rule when school started that breakfast would only be served to those fully dress with shoes on and hair brushed. My 5 1/2 and 3 yo both follow the rule (even on weekends
). Thankfully, unlike my DH, my girls both really like breakfast.
I hope you work through this. I know it's tough to enjoy the evening when everyone gets worked up at bedtime.