Preschool - or stay with younger sibling? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 10-26-2009, 11:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi,
My son is 3, in a family based day-care. He is the oldest in the group, along with is younger brother at 1.5. I feel pressure from those around me to 'socialise' him and put him in a preschool where he can make friends with others his own age. Instinctively i want to keep him with his brother, as they're so close now and their relationship is important to me. His development is right on, so no worries there.

90% of the preschools I've seen have kids segregated by age, which makes sense in some way, but it seems more natural for me to have my boys experience their early years together. They do *everything* together and the younger esp would miss his brother if this changed. I know this has to end one day but so early??

Any ideas, or advice? I can't be the first mom to consider this dilema!

thanks, Tracy
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#2 of 8 Old 10-27-2009, 12:20 AM
 
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It's not an all or nothing decision, you're not going to be sending the older child away from your family forever. A few hours a day or two a week of painting and singlng and learning how to make new friends might be something he really enjoys. And his younger brother might be able to explore aspects of his personality he doesn't with his brother.
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#3 of 8 Old 10-27-2009, 03:06 AM
 
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Him doing a half day preschool 3 days a week wouldn't really be separating them for very long, but the transpotation might be complicated since they are in child care.

Does your older DS seem bored? Some kids need preschool, some don't. Does your DS seem to need more stimulation and interaction from age peers?

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#4 of 8 Old 10-27-2009, 11:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delicateflower View Post
It's not an all or nothing decision, you're not going to be sending the older child away from your family forever. A few hours a day or two a week of painting and singlng and learning how to make new friends might be something he really enjoys. And his younger brother might be able to explore aspects of his personality he doesn't with his brother.
I agree with this.
I decided to send my oldest daughter (4) to preschool this year (actually she begged to go to school). She loves it, and it allows me some 1:1 time with younger DD. And as much as they love playing and being together, they do need the occasional break from each other's company At the same time, if you are happy with your DC situation and feel your son is having a well rounded day, then I wouldn't feel I had to send him to preschool.
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#5 of 8 Old 10-27-2009, 01:44 PM
 
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There are benefits to being the 'oldest' in a group.

What benefits would preschool give him that he's not getting in his current care situation? I'm am wholeheartedly against academic preschools. Preschool is a time for play. So, how would a play-based preschool be different from his current in-home daycare?

I'd base this decision solely on whether you're happy with your current care provider. If you think they're doing a good job and if you think your son is happy there, why change? If your son is bored, or you're not happy with the care, then I'd think about it.

He's gotten the 'benefits' that a lot of parents seek in a preschool already. He's learned to separate from you. He's with other children. There will be time enough for academics later.

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#6 of 8 Old 10-28-2009, 12:27 AM
 
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Personally, I don't "get" preschool--my DD went for a bit, learned a ton of bad habits, and I spent a ton of time and energy driving back and forth. Now, she's at home with me, we spend many mornings with babies and toddlers in our neighborhood, interacting with adults, etc. She's learned to help care for a baby, she's learned to look out for the young toddlers, she's learned to talk with adults--this is way more valuable to me than what she was picking up at preschool. It's ironic that she's actually become way more "social" since we stopped going to preschool.

So, I'd say that I'd think he'd get far more from helping to care for and bond with his sibling than he'd get from a preschool.
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#7 of 8 Old 10-28-2009, 03:55 PM
 
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Well at 3 isn't your older boy getting social interaction at the family day care? How many children are there? It would also depend on the preschool. As the PP said some preschools will be bad, or even worse. Do you have a preschool in mind? This would make all the difference to me. We have a totally wonderful play based preschool that is right on with me... I would not send my child to an ify preschool just for socialization. And 3 is still pretty young, you do still have his 4th year to incorporate more socialization with more kids before K, right?

I would keep the boys together unless you have an A #1 preschool in mind
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#8 of 8 Old 10-28-2009, 04:58 PM
 
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I agree with the others. Not only that, but if you feel he really needs preschool before he starts K, you could always keep him in the home daycare this year, and do preschool next year when he is 4. Does your DC provider do things like crafts, circle time, reading to the kids, etc.? If so, I really don't see how preschool can be more advantageous to him than being around other kids and brother in daycare. If you really feel he needs more time with kids more his age, you could also do a sport or a class or something extracurricular with him.

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