playing with matches - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 04-26-2002, 06:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
malmstro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: relocating to N. Dallas
Posts: 13
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello all,
I just had the experience of finding my 8 year old son playing with matches. He was with one of his 2nd grade classmates at the classmates house, under the care of a teenage babysitter. I am wondering if others have encountered this and what were your actions regarding playing with matches. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
Malmstro
malmstro is offline  
#2 of 6 Old 04-26-2002, 07:37 PM
 
peggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: MA
Posts: 4,147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If he's that interested in it I would teach him how to use matches safely. It may also be a good oppurtunity to discuss all "fire" rules. What your smoke detector sounds like, your "escape" plan in case of a fire, etc.
Making it a big issue and completely off limits, to me, will only make playing with matches more appealing.

peggy
peggy is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 04-26-2002, 08:12 PM
 
jasnjakesmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 1,325
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Take him for a tour of a fire department or a hospital burn unit. Fire is just not something to mess around with.
jasnjakesmama is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 04-29-2002, 10:33 PM
 
sunmountain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: in a log cabin with Jamie Fraser
Posts: 2,678
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
just another suggestion, and this can apply to many things...
In our house we have "tools" and "toys", toys are to be played with, tools are to be used a certain way at a certain time, and the 3ds understood this distinction as young as 2yo. A toy can be messed with, thrown around, drawn on and, obviously, played with.
A tool can't be used with out proper direction and guidance, and then only for the purpose it was made for. These seemed to be acceptable limits even a 2yo could understand (if only in the context of why it was being taken away, in case it got left out somewhere.)
sunmountain is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 05-03-2002, 09:21 PM
 
Wilderness Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My son at age 4 and 5 played with matches whenever he got a chance (like when I was putting my little one down for a nap, he would scale the cupboards and frisk them searching for matches). I tried talking sternly with him and explaining the consequences, not to any avail. He still admitted to lighting matches (until I was smart enough to not have ANY at the house), then dropping them on our hardwood floors because he got scared while I was laying the baby down. Sigh.

I tried taking him to the fire station. They referred me to the central office. I asked if he could see a video or something, instead the put us in two different rooms and grilled me and he individually on parenting styles. They asked him if he ever got spanked with a belt. What the heck does that have to do with fires and little boys? I should have stopped the whole thing, but I didn't know what to do. AFter feeling totally let down bythe fire department, I removed all matches from the house. Did that stop my son? NOOOOOO! He learned that people throw match books down on the ground particularly in grocery store parking lots, and made it a point to look for them. For his effort, he usually found one to three matches per book.

Since limiting access didn't seem to work, I decided to try to channel his fire energy into something positive...learning to build fires from scratch using bow and hand drills. Its now a year later, and venting his energies by building fires from scratch with him every week have made a huge difference. Plus, if we ever need to have a fire made in a survival situation, he should be an expert by the time he is 8!

I don't know if this will help, but it worked for us.
Wilderness Mama is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 05-04-2002, 12:08 AM
 
sunmountain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: in a log cabin with Jamie Fraser
Posts: 2,678
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, Wilderness Mama, that sounds like it was a pretty frightening experience all around. I'm really impressed with your solution to the situation. Maybe he was the "fire-keeper" for his tribe in another life
sunmountain is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off