we both freaked - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-27-2002, 06:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Today we went to a local parade and festival with the kids. Everything was fine, we enjoyed the parade and the kids decided to ride some bumper boats in the kids area. Sometimes I forget how sensitive my daughter is- she realy wants to do new things, but when she does she really gets scared.( She had post traumatic stress and so I think that play a big part in her resction to things.) Anyway, she was fine getting into the boat and for a while, but then I saw her getting "the look", you know, deer in the headlights absolute terror and not sure what to do look. I yelled to one of the workers to get her out, buy the time they got to her she was crying but instead of them taking her out liek I asked, the guy starts bouncing her around saying "Oh, it's ok", etc. After a couple minutes I saw this man had no intention of taking her out of the boat (she was *really* upset but because when she's upset she gets mute, she wasn't noisy and he probably thought she had stopped crying) I totally lost it and screamed at the top of my lungs "Get her out NOW please!!!!". (I did remember to say please lol) Everyone looked at me like an overprotective freak of a mom, but I don't care. Things like this stay with her so much longer than they would with my son, and she just doesn't need anymore trauma, ya know?
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#2 of 6 Old 04-28-2002, 08:42 AM
 
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I can't say that I wouldn't have reacted EXACTLY the same way. Why do some adults thing that a childs feelings are not valid "don't cry, your fine" ect?

I don't know what else you could have done. If your still really upset, you may want to write to someone about how this man hurt your child.

Remeber you can only be underprotective. You care, you understand her. Try keeping some open dialogue so she can work through this.
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#3 of 6 Old 04-28-2002, 01:18 PM
 
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((((Khrisday))))
You did the right thing
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#4 of 6 Old 04-29-2002, 12:46 AM
 
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I agree. My son is sensitive, & sometimes he doesn't like to be tickled. He'll laugh, because, duh, it TICKLES, but then he says, "I don't like that." When he says that to me I apologize & stop. It makes me really angry when other people don't respect his boundaries just because he's a little kid. You did the right thing!

Love, Jenny
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#5 of 6 Old 05-05-2002, 06:29 PM
 
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Mama, there ain't nothin else you could have done.

When people r dumb, they're dumb.

My son was in the hospital for 10 days, and kept getting woken up at 4 a.m. when trying to recover from surgery. This nurse (whose face is burned in my mind forever mind you) had no idea how to take blood from a child. On her second try, I could see it wasn't gonna happen--ds screaming from this nightmare--I asked her to stop. She picked up the alcohol pad--I thought to clean ds--and STUCK HIM AGAIN unsuccessfully of course. I screamed, the loudest I'd ever screamed in my life. GET THE F*** OUT!!!. She treated my like I was insane, but the truth is I am and you are normal mothers. Anyone who would not listen to the wishes of a mother needs some serious help.

If I were you, I would write a letter to the company that owns the boats to verse their employees on ways to take care of the children they are serving. I wrote one to the hospital, and felt better--at least that stupid nurse might educate herself, or at least know not to mess with the mamas.
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#6 of 6 Old 05-06-2002, 03:16 PM
 
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Oooh, I know what you mean!!

My blood still boils when I think about when DD was 3 y.o. She used to get, I admit, the world's cutest pouty face when she was on the verge of crying. So my MIL (!) one time thought it was a great idea to play it up when DD got the pouty face for I don't remember what reason. MIL was holding her on her knee and kept yelling in a sing song voice, "Awwww, don't cry, sweety, awwww!" all the while laughing and trying to get her to cry some more! We were at a party and it was already loud and I was on the other side of the room, but I politely said, " Bertha, please stop, you're making her cry. " MIL didn't even hear me and went on with, "Awwwww! Look at

the pouty face!" and DD was, of course, just getting more upset, tears streaming down her face.

"Bertha, stop it, please"

"Awww, she's so cute!"

I strode across the room and got in MIL's face and loudly said, "Bertha, stop, that's not cute!!" I took DD from her and went outside. I thought I was calming DD daughter down, but I was shaking I was so upset. I don't regret that for a minute, in fact that was kind of a break through for me and my relationship with MIL. My first "mother bear" moment! Sorry, Bertha, but you DON'T know what's best for MY child!!! But when we went back in I tried to smile at MIL and say, "sorry!" I tried to say something about PMS.

It had the desired effect. MIL backed off after that.

You totally did the right thing!

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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