Help, I'm in diaper changing He!! - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-16-2009, 07:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DS is nearly 3 1/2 and showing absolutely no readiness signs for using the potty. I would be fine with this, except he tantrums with nearly every diaper change (especially poopy diapers where he wiggles so much that the poop sometimes ends up falling out of the diaper and a lengthy clean up is necessary afterward). We use cloth dipes, so I'm not having to spend extra money on diapers and I typically have a laid back attitude for children reaching milestones when they are ready. However, this is getting out of control and I don't know how to make it better.

Is there a way to encourage potty readiness? Or to make diaper changes less troublesome?

Laura, Troy, Seth 6.24.06 , and Aaron 7.13.09
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Old 11-16-2009, 09:06 PM
 
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Kris - married to Nate since 12/06, mom to Toby since 1/08. Also servant to two felines. Done having babies for medical reasons.

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Old 11-16-2009, 11:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Has the potty training in 3 days worked for anyone with a 3 year old who wasn't showing many readiness signs? That's definitely something I would be willing to try.

Laura, Troy, Seth 6.24.06 , and Aaron 7.13.09
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Old 11-17-2009, 02:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sewaneecook View Post
DS is nearly 3 1/2 and showing absolutely no readiness signs for using the potty. I would be fine with this, except he tantrums with nearly every diaper change (especially poopy diapers where he wiggles so much that the poop sometimes ends up falling out of the diaper and a lengthy clean up is necessary afterward). We use cloth dipes, so I'm not having to spend extra money on diapers and I typically have a laid back attitude for children reaching milestones when they are ready. However, this is getting out of control and I don't know how to make it better.

Is there a way to encourage potty readiness? Or to make diaper changes less troublesome?
OK, I could have written this exact post. My son is also 3.5, and will go in the toilet if he is naked, but that's it. So he has to wear a diaper when we go out, and to bed. Anyway, we've reached the point where #1) I have to hold him down to change him, while he kicks as hard as he can, and yells "no! don't! stop!" which makes me feel horrible, or #2) I wait him out, and change him when he asks me to, which is not until he has such a bad rash that he walks funny and cries. Hello rock, hello hard place. Ugh. Anyway, these are some things that used to work with him, but have since lost their magic:

Making it a game. Both my boys like Toy Story, so I would sometimes pick him up by the front of his shirt, and say "the claw has chosen, you must go!" and put him on the couch. Then tell him to "press the button" to take his pants off, he presses the "button" (some arbitrary spot), and I do something silly, tell him it's the wrong button, he tries again. Repeat a few times, then take his pants off at some point when he pushes the 'right' button. This one also works well for putting on PJ's. Sometimes I'd take his pants off, and toss them over his face, then pretend I couldn't find him, and he would throw them off, peek-a-boo, I guess. He also likes when I make my fingers be ants/spiders and tickle him, so I may do that while he is lying down being changed. I didn't necessarily do all these in one change, but sometimes I did!

Pretend it's very important, and you're in a big rush (another game, I guess). "Oh my gosh, we have to change you! Hurry, let's go!" Run around the room a bit, gathering everything. Continue talking about how fast you have to change, be silly.



The one that worked the longest was getting one of those cheapo kitchen timers, and asking him when he would be ready to be changed (usually 3 minutes, for whatever reason). I would confirm with him, "ok, I'm going to set the timer for 3 minutes, and when it rings I will change you with no fighting, right?" He would agree, and that is what would happen.

Good luck! I'm having such a hard time with this PL thing, my 4 year old isn't even all the way there yet.

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Old 11-17-2009, 02:51 AM
 
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Don't know if it is helpful to you....disregard it if not. It won't hurt my feelings.

My daughter at 21 months started putting up a big fight about diaper changes. Whenever she threw a fit, I would clean her up and let her run around the house naked. I explained that if she wasn't going to cooperate about the diaper, she had to use the potty. It was one or the other and she had to choose.

For a while she chose to use the potty. We would have special time together reading books or playing games while she sat on the potty and she loved it! She learned all of the necessary skills during this time--recognizing when she needed to pee, learning how to release when bare, etc. If she had an accident she helped clean it up. Sometimes after an accident clean up I would ask her if she was ready for a diaper and if she was, she always cooperated about getting it on. After a few months, she was pretty much trained. She was diaper free for about a month or two.

Then she decided that she wanted to wear a diaper again. She had lots of accidents and didn't want to interrupt her life to run to the potty...so she wore diapers again. And since I made it clear that this was required of her, she cooperated about changes. She's 3 now and not completely trained but at least she has the necessary toileting skills and is mostly diaper free.

Don't know how much of this applies to a 3 1/2 yr old....

Also, I DO think that you can teach those things needed for toilet training readiness. Especially for an older child. For some kids all it takes is finding the right motivation and they are ready to learn. Could be a reward of some kind. For a 3 yr old, the motivation might come from seeing friends use the potty. I've found, for both my kids, that it really helped to check out EVERY potty training picture book and DVD we could find at the library. Mo Willems has a funny book. There was also a DVD they really liked called Potty Power. Once they're motivated, a lot of kids can get past those readiness skills more easily.
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Old 11-17-2009, 02:57 AM
 
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Oh, by the way, I have to share my favorite trick for changing a struggling child. I lay the child with their head to my left, feet going straight to the right. I put my left thigh over the child's torso. They can't lift up their bum and you have two free hands. You still have to deal with kicking feet but this is much easier when the child is locked down.

I'm not usually an advocate of physical force or restraint....but a poopy bottom on a tantruming child warrants desperate measures.
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Old 11-17-2009, 10:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for the comisseration and the pottying and diaper changing ideas. This next week I'm going to try to focus more fully on trying to teach him some of the readiness cues for using the potty.

BFBabies, my DS does the same thing with either having a tantrum diaper change or getting rashy when I wait for him to tell me he's ready for a change! I will definitely try to focus on making it more fun rather than it being a chore. Hopefully your 4 year old gets there soon!

K-mom3, I will try to see if giving him the power to choose potty or the diaper makes any difference. I don't have a lot planned for the next few days, so I'll roll up the rugs and have some diaper free time (luckily we don't have any wall to wall carpet, so accidents should be easy to clean up). I hear ya on the desperate measures!

Laura, Troy, Seth 6.24.06 , and Aaron 7.13.09
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Old 11-18-2009, 10:34 AM
 
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Not totally an answer to your problem but with DS1 he showed absolutely no interest (really, none) in using the bathroom by 3-3.5. We finally just bought a bunch of underwear, took off the diaper and watched to see what happened. Within a week I would say he was pretty much accident free, it only took a couple days before he got the hang of things and wasn't having huge pee blowouts.

We had a slightly different situation because he has fought with constipation problems since birth pretty much. That made it really easy to see when he had a movement coming and we just got in the habit of taking him to the bathroom to go on the toilet from around 1yo. So he was #2 trained well before the diaper came off.

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Old 11-19-2009, 09:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Here's hope for those having issues. I decided to do something similar to what BunniMummi did. We've been diaper free for the last day (except at night, we still had a diaper on) and last night DS didn't make it to the potty even once. All day today, he only peed on the floor a handful of times (even pooping in the potty on his own!). I have cleared the calendar through the weekend so that we can get this down and hopefully he'll be at least mostly diaper free by then. He's been running around the house in a shirt and nothing else, we've cleared all rugs out of the main part of the house (which is hardwood anyway), pushed all the upholstered furniture out of the middle of the room and set 2 pottys out for easy access. We've played with easy to sterilize toys all day and it's been fairly successful.

Laura, Troy, Seth 6.24.06 , and Aaron 7.13.09
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Old 11-19-2009, 10:00 PM
 
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I'm glad to hear it going well Laura! We had a couple false starts with Lochlan. I started him with naked time at 2.5 and we gave him a deadline- we made it into a chant at every diaper change. "What happens on your birthday?" No more diapers- he would sing it with me. I let things slide around the time that new baby was born, but he just did it himself right before his 3rd birthday. It was like something clicked and he just made the decision and I no longer had to remind him or anything. Its been easy as pie. But it took a lot of lead up and accidents till he got there. So what I'm saying is that leading the potty effort is great but ultimately it will click and stick at some point for him. I hope its quick for you!!

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