Need some ideas for 3yo holding poop - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 11 Old 01-11-2010, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
H & J's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: At work ... Shh
Posts: 244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS has been having poopy issues for quite some time now. He’s been potty trained for the most part since he was about two, he just turned three is October. He started out fine with pooping on the potting but over time has taken to holding it. We're thinking he's decided he just doesn’t like to poop.

He gets the urge and holds it in until the urge passes. We see him standing there squeezing and clenching and sometimes holding onto his bum. We’ve tried taking him to sit on the toilet at this point but it’s a huge scream fest of - I don’t want to poop, I don’t need to poop, nothing is there, etc. At this point we can’t even get him to sit on the toilet and try and don’t want to push it and have him hold it even more.

When he can’t hold it any longer is when we take him. How we know that he can’t hold any longer is that he starts peeing at bit and will cry out that his pants are getting wet - usually he’s started pooping a bit by this time. It is still a big fight to get him to sit on the toilet and have his poop but we can usually talk him into sitting there for a few mins until he poops, all the while telling us he doesn’t have to.

Like 99% of his poops are in the toilet but only after a half a day of the poopy dance! He always pees in the toilet (other than the dribbling when trying to hold poop) and often times wakes at night to pee cause he doesn’t want to go in his nighttime diaper. He never just comes and says I need to poop, it’s always a huge production

It gets frustrating at times and of course I always wonder if we’re making it worse or could be trying something else.

I would love some tips if any of you moms have BTDT … some days it is just so frustrating and there are some many better ways to spend our time together than fighting over pooping … I know DS gets so frustrated with this too

ETA: Though I'd better let you know what we've tried (aka, what doesn't work) and that he eats great, lots of veggies/fruit, water, milk, etc.

-Bribes (I know, but we get desparate)
-Withholding stuff (like, you can't color til you poop, etc) I know, I know but again, we get desperate
-when he's at the sitters sporadically she has set times (after he's eaten) that she puts him on the toilet. It seemed to work at times but I really didn't like this, seemed to me if he's not showing signs of having to it shouldn't be pushed on him. If you don't need to poop you don't need to poop ... so I don't do this at home and he is rarely at the sitters (hasn't been for months)
-we do keep baby prune juice for when it's been a few days. It does get him going but it's still the same big production

I just don't know what else we could be doing and I worry about making it worse or scarring him somehow ...
H & J's Mom is offline  
#2 of 11 Old 01-11-2010, 03:18 PM
 
THANKFULFORFIVE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: midwestern girl in Texas
Posts: 424
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't really have the advice that you are probably looking for, but I wanted to reply because one of my daughters was a "poop holder" too. Honestly, she will be 15 tomorrow and STILL hates to poop! She would hold her poo for so long that her bum would bleed and produce poops the size of softballs! We have often wondered if she has an anatomical anomaly of some kind because of the width of her stools! Ha! Nope, she just says that she has better things to do and hates to go poop! I had a doc tell me once that some young children fear that they are losing parts of their body when they are pooping? Didn't seem to really be the case for my daughter though.
I wouldn't worry too much. Just keep reassuring him that everybody poops and it hurts MUCH less when we go more often!

me-45, DH-46, ds1-23, ds2-18, dd1-17, dd2-14, dd3-4....hoping for #6.....

THANKFULFORFIVE is offline  
#3 of 11 Old 01-11-2010, 04:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
H & J's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: At work ... Shh
Posts: 244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by THANKFULFORFIVE View Post
Just keep reassuring him that everybody poops and it hurts MUCH less when we go more often!
This is already part of the trying to talk him into going when he needs to chat ...

It did hurt him a few times after he'd held it for way to long but it generally doesn't hurt.

Thanks, it's nice to know we're not alone!
H & J's Mom is offline  
#4 of 11 Old 01-11-2010, 05:16 PM
 
columbusmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Running
Posts: 3,376
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is a hard situation for all of you! Have you read up on encopresis? You may want to consider(and I know it's not natural)daily miralax not to mention increasing fiber, trying apple/pear juice,flaxseed oil. What can happen in the worst case is after holding stool for awhile, the nerve receptors in the bowel are compressed from the stool, and the feeling to go ends up disappearing and then that normal urge to go is gone. More consipation occurs, and when bm is present, it is usually runny, and going around the impacted stool, so the bowel is not completely emptied. Cycle continues. It seems that sometimes if a child is scared to go or had a painful bm they can be afraid to go in the future and hold the bm in. Have you talked to his pediatrician? I would to rule out any medical issues. Hopo this works itself out!

Wife to DH(15 years)and Mama to: Jacob(5/02)kid.gifribbonpurple.gif, and Alina(7/07)energy.gifI luxlove.gifbellyhair.gif
columbusmomma is offline  
#5 of 11 Old 01-11-2010, 05:55 PM
 
karemore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Hudson Valley NY
Posts: 739
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Will he poop in a pull up?

At DD's 3 year well visit her Dr said just let her put on the pull up to poop. It's dangerous for her to hold the poop and why battle it. I wasn't thrilled about the idea, but wouldn't you know within a week or two she was fine pooping on the potty again. She was able to get past her fears and get her system cleaned out with the pullups then went back to using the potty on her own. It's worth a shot.
karemore is offline  
#6 of 11 Old 01-11-2010, 09:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
H & J's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: At work ... Shh
Posts: 244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by columbusmomma View Post
This is a hard situation for all of you! Have you read up on encopresis? You may want to consider(and I know it's not natural)daily miralax not to mention increasing fiber, trying apple/pear juice,flaxseed oil. What can happen in the worst case is after holding stool for awhile, the nerve receptors in the bowel are compressed from the stool, and the feeling to go ends up disappearing and then that normal urge to go is gone. More consipation occurs, and when bm is present, it is usually runny, and going around the impacted stool, so the bowel is not completely emptied. Cycle continues. It seems that sometimes if a child is scared to go or had a painful bm they can be afraid to go in the future and hold the bm in. Have you talked to his pediatrician? I would to rule out any medical issues. Hopo this works itself out!
I just Googled it I don't think we're any where near that point but I do worry if it continues.

We keep jars of baby apple/prune juice on hand for when he hasn't gone for a day but maybe we'll have to look at something to give him each day to keep him on track.

Haven't taken him to his pedi yet, will give him a bit more time to see if he sorts himself out. He was to the pedi when he was an infant (between 4-7 mos) for un-explained blood in his stool (minute amounts on a couple of diff occaisons) but everything they tested for came back fine. He also often had gas issues and seemed uncomfortable pooping, even with breast milk poops as an infant. That all seemed to clear up before he was 1yo.

Thanks for the info!
H & J's Mom is offline  
#7 of 11 Old 01-11-2010, 09:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
H & J's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: At work ... Shh
Posts: 244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by karemore View Post
Will he poop in a pull up?

At DD's 3 year well visit her Dr said just let her put on the pull up to poop. It's dangerous for her to hold the poop and why battle it. I wasn't thrilled about the idea, but wouldn't you know within a week or two she was fine pooping on the potty again. She was able to get past her fears and get her system cleaned out with the pullups then went back to using the potty on her own. It's worth a shot.
I'm not sure if he would or not ... He won't pee in one if he can help it. He isn't night trained and he often wakes to go pee or if he is peeing while sleeping he is restless and fusses.

I agree it's worth a shot if he's willing. I'm would love to be done with the poopy fights! I never thought of offering a diaper, I don't mind that at all if it keeps him from holding it in

I had luck tonight with asking if he wanted to watch a bit of a movie on the portable DVD player while he sat on the toilet to try since he was in the beginning stages of the dance. He seemed to like it and it worked so we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Thanks for the idea!!
H & J's Mom is offline  
#8 of 11 Old 01-12-2010, 06:18 AM
 
alfabetsoup's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Miralax is great, you might only need to use it for a few weeks. Anything is worth it not to get to the encopresis stage--DD1 was really bad (I know the poopy dance well) and is finally coming out of it, she will now say she needs to poop and run to the potty.

When things were really bad, we did rewards. I got a bucket, filled it with cheapo toys and told her she could have one every time she did a proper poo in the potty. It took about 3 weeks and wasn't cheap but it did get her much more relaxed about using the potty.
alfabetsoup is offline  
#9 of 11 Old 01-12-2010, 10:52 AM
 
Asparagus78's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 178
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is what I posted about my DS over 3 months ago: "I thought we were done with this... DS was totally toilet-trained around 2.5. No more diapers, except a pull-up at night. The only exception is with pooping. At first, he would ask to be brought to the bathroom, but then would change his mind and ask for a diaper, and go in it. That was fine, as he would always let us know, and never had any accidents. However, at some point, he decided he didn't want to poop anymore. Now, he'll scream bloody murder (I don't want to poop!!!!!) for days, until he can't hold it in anymore, then he'll ask for a diaper (and you have to be quick!) and go. His stools are always soft (not overly soft, but definitely not hard) so I don't think constipation is an issue. We've had him seen by his ped, who says there is nothing wrong and that he'll grow out of it. When asked why he doesn't want to poop, he says he doesn't like to. He says it doesn't hurt and that he's not scared, but simply that he doesn't like it. It doesn't matter what you offer him (a diaper, the toilet, a potty, treats, stickers...). Yesterday, we couldn't leave the house because he spent the entire day screaming and visibly distressed because he was trying to hold it in so bad. It's very frustrating! Anyone been through this? I wish he would just poop... Thanks!!"

He's been pooping on the toilet EVERY DAY now for about two weeks, without us even having to prompt him. By the way, the poop holding went on for about 6 months. Our secret: I wish I knew! He just one day decided he wanted to do it. In the meantime, we just kept reminding him that pooping was normal and made you feel good, and we avoided making too much of a big deal (it was always worse when I lost my cool with him). Good luck!

Mommy to The Boy (August 2006) and Another Boy (November 2009)
Asparagus78 is offline  
#10 of 11 Old 01-12-2010, 08:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
H & J's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: At work ... Shh
Posts: 244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asparagus78 View Post
This is what I posted about my DS over 3 months ago: "I thought we were done with this... DS was totally toilet-trained around 2.5. No more diapers, except a pull-up at night. The only exception is with pooping. At first, he would ask to be brought to the bathroom, but then would change his mind and ask for a diaper, and go in it. That was fine, as he would always let us know, and never had any accidents. However, at some point, he decided he didn't want to poop anymore. Now, he'll scream bloody murder (I don't want to poop!!!!!) for days, until he can't hold it in anymore, then he'll ask for a diaper (and you have to be quick!) and go. His stools are always soft (not overly soft, but definitely not hard) so I don't think constipation is an issue. We've had him seen by his ped, who says there is nothing wrong and that he'll grow out of it. When asked why he doesn't want to poop, he says he doesn't like to. He says it doesn't hurt and that he's not scared, but simply that he doesn't like it. It doesn't matter what you offer him (a diaper, the toilet, a potty, treats, stickers...). Yesterday, we couldn't leave the house because he spent the entire day screaming and visibly distressed because he was trying to hold it in so bad. It's very frustrating! Anyone been through this? I wish he would just poop... Thanks!!"

He's been pooping on the toilet EVERY DAY now for about two weeks, without us even having to prompt him. By the way, the poop holding went on for about 6 months. Our secret: I wish I knew! He just one day decided he wanted to do it. In the meantime, we just kept reminding him that pooping was normal and made you feel good, and we avoided making too much of a big deal (it was always worse when I lost my cool with him). Good luck!
Our stories are exactly the same!! To see where you are at now gives me such hope ... Thank you for posting!!

I only wish you knew the secret
H & J's Mom is offline  
#11 of 11 Old 01-12-2010, 08:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
H & J's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: At work ... Shh
Posts: 244
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alfabetsoup View Post
Miralax is great, you might only need to use it for a few weeks. Anything is worth it not to get to the encopresis stage--DD1 was really bad (I know the poopy dance well) and is finally coming out of it, she will now say she needs to poop and run to the potty.

When things were really bad, we did rewards. I got a bucket, filled it with cheapo toys and told her she could have one every time she did a proper poo in the potty. It took about 3 weeks and wasn't cheap but it did get her much more relaxed about using the potty.
I can't wait to get to those days!!

I am going to ask the pharmacist about Miralax. Constipation is not the issue but perhaps with some help, he won't be able to hold it in as much and will get on track.

Rewards so far have not really worked but perhaps we will have to step it up ... a bucket of toys to pick from does sound right up his alley!

Thanks
H & J's Mom is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off