My 8 year old is developing breast buds - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 01-28-2010, 09:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just wanted to say that, because I'm feeling a little sad about it and need to get it out of my system so I don't transmit any negative feelings to my DD.

I mean, we were planning to get some more books on puberty and stuff next year (I got my first period just shy of my 12th birthday), but...I guess I am grieving a little bit because I selfishly want to keep her little.

Which is ridiculous, she's almost as tall as me!

Yes, I know that breast buds don't develop into full breasts for awhile, depending on the kids (I think I got mine around 9, but didn't have boobs really until I got pregnant). I do worry a bit that she will be an noticeable early developer and the teasing that will come (plus people already think she's 2-4 years older than she is because of her height) her way.

And before anyone says it (because I am sensitive about this right now) why YES, my daughter has eaten organic since her first solid food days and we've never drank milk from cows given the hormones (truth be told, she hates dairy in general so she's not really had a whole lot of any kind of dairy). I think this is a normal pattern, not some freakish thing because I fed her crap.

Any other mamas out there with daughters who may be moving towards/are in the beginnings of puberty on the early side of normal? Did you feel sad too? I've always been excited and planning for my kiddo's first menstruation rite of passage (if she wanted one), so it's not that I feel uncomfortable in general, I'm just caught off guard by my sadness that it's happening "so soon" even though I intellectually knew that 8-10 is the age when many many girls do start developing.
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#2 of 30 Old 01-28-2010, 11:41 PM
 
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DD started developing fairly early. She started wearing a bra shortly after her 9th bday, but started with breastbuds about 6 months before that.

It is bittersweet when they start puberty, on one hand it's wonderful they are growing up on the other... They are growing up.



The first announcement of her getting boobs I was too busy choking on my coffee to feel sad, but the feeling came eventually.

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#3 of 30 Old 01-29-2010, 09:01 AM
 
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Yes, yes, yes, I am right there with you on the bittersweet feelings. This is a similar path to my dd's, and extremely normal. I questioned our (wholistic) pedi about the food issues as well-we're organic, no hormones, etc., etc. Totally a normal time frame.

I am personally finding that I am traveling an emotional path watching 11 y/o dd enter puberty! We're extremely open here, I'm finding out, based on what I hear from other moms and kids, but I still am surprised sometimes by how much I am sort of flying by the seat of my pants I have found the preteen/teen forums here to be a great source of support if you're ever looking!

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#4 of 30 Old 01-29-2010, 09:21 AM
 
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I know how you feel! My d just turned 8 in December and has breast buds too. You can see the outline of them through her shirts which just freaks me out, so I went and bought her some soft cotton camisoles to wear under her shirts.

She is my baby, so it is especially sad for me that she is growing up. I was kinda hoping this day wouldn't come for a long time.

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#5 of 30 Old 01-29-2010, 10:35 AM
 
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So I've always fed organic stuff for the same reason, but I've heard lately that earlier puberty might be because kids are healthier and theoretically able to handle pregnancy earlier than once upon a time, and that it has nothing to do with what we eat as I always thought. I thought it was growth hormones and all that, but this has happened to enough people I know who only eat organic stuff (and some vegan friends as well) that it seems like food probably isn't the cause.

Mine isn't developing yet, but she smells like a teenager at the end of the day. I wasn't expecting the adult-smelling sweat at such a young age.
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#6 of 30 Old 01-29-2010, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks all!! I really needed the hugs!

It's nice to hear from folks going through this stage too. I mean, I am sure that I probably DO know some kids who are going through it too (I doubt my DD is the only 2nd grader going through this at her school, and I know almost all of them!), but it's nice to hear from other parents who aren't going to jump in with the "OMFG what did you feed your child?!?!" or look at her suspiciously (I have seen the latter happen with other girls, not mine, it's like people think that the beginnings of puberty mean that the child's going to start having sex with everyone in the class or something--another reason why I fully admit fearing a bit for other people's reactions to DD).

I am checking out some beginning puberty books from the library to have around the house. We are open about sexuality and body changes here, but honestly the only thing DD was really interested in learning about was how babies were made, grown, and born. So we'll see if she's interested in learning about how her body's going to be changing.

Anyone found any good books for younger kiddos? We have the "it's so amazing" book which she LOVES which does touch briefly on puberty and many other subjects aside from procreation but I would love to have a few books that concentrate on puberty that don't spend a lot of time on procreation. Though if there's a good puberty section, nothing wrong with repetition!
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#7 of 30 Old 01-29-2010, 06:08 PM
 
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all of them!), but it's nice to hear from other parents who aren't going to jump in with the "OMFG what did you feed your child?!?!" or look at her suspiciously (I have seen the latter happen with other girls, not mine, it's like people think that the beginnings of puberty mean that the child's going to start having sex with everyone in the class or something--another reason why I fully admit fearing a bit for other people's reactions to DD).
I know exactly what you mean. I have posted in another thread about being amazed by my dd's friend's parents who will not talk about anything with their kids, and I do think that there is this underlying feeling that acknowledging the changes somehow encourages something...I'm not phrasing that well, I guess. Ughh. You probably know what I mean.

Anyway, the American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You has worked pretty well for us as a good jumping off point. My dd likes the mix of illustrations and text. I'd pre-read to be sure you're OK w/ it, but most AG publications are pretty appropriate.
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#8 of 30 Old 01-29-2010, 06:19 PM
 
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We are in the same boat. Mine just turned 9, but she's been wearing a bra (or should be wearing a bra) for at least 6 months now. It's so hard. I get sad too and try so hard not to let her see it. SHe's always grown-up so fast - from teeth as a baby, to walking at 9 months, to being almost as tall as me and bigger feet than me right now. It's so hard, but exciting too. I also recommend the AG book. My dd loves it.
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#9 of 30 Old 01-29-2010, 08:02 PM
 
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I do think that there is this underlying feeling that acknowledging the changes somehow encourages something...I'm not phrasing that well, I guess. Ughh. You probably know what I mean.
The "if I ignore it, it will go away" train of thought. After all our daughters can't go through puberty without premission right? I get really fed up with the idea that a girl going through puberty on the early side means the parents are doing something wrong too.

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#10 of 30 Old 01-30-2010, 12:43 PM
 
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The "if I ignore it, it will go away" train of thought. After all our daughters can't go through puberty without premission right? I get really fed up with the idea that a girl going through puberty on the early side means the parents are doing something wrong too.
Exactly.
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#11 of 30 Old 01-30-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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Are fat pads over the breast area the same as breast buds?

My DD will be 8 in a couple days and I've noticed her developing fat pads over her breast area. She's otherwise fairly slender. I wondered if these were the beginnings of breast buds?

And I know how you fell mama It's so bittersweet. I love that she's growing and maturing and I love all that comes along with that but still.....sigh....she's my baby
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#12 of 30 Old 09-02-2010, 01:13 PM
 
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I just wanted to say that, because I'm feeling a little sad about it and need to get it out of my system so I don't transmit any negative feelings to my DD.

I mean, we were planning to get some more books on puberty and stuff next year (I got my first period just shy of my 12th birthday), but...I guess I am grieving a little bit because I selfishly want to keep her little.

Which is ridiculous, she's almost as tall as me!

Yes, I know that breast buds don't develop into full breasts for awhile, depending on the kids (I think I got mine around 9, but didn't have boobs really until I got pregnant). I do worry a bit that she will be an noticeable early developer and the teasing that will come (plus people already think she's 2-4 years older than she is because of her height) her way.

And before anyone says it (because I am sensitive about this right now) why YES, my daughter has eaten organic since her first solid food days and we've never drank milk from cows given the hormones (truth be told, she hates dairy in general so she's not really had a whole lot of any kind of dairy). I think this is a normal pattern, not some freakish thing because I fed her crap.

Any other mamas out there with daughters who may be moving towards/are in the beginnings of puberty on the early side of normal? Did you feel sad too? I've always been excited and planning for my kiddo's first menstruation rite of passage (if she wanted one), so it's not that I feel uncomfortable in general, I'm just caught off guard by my sadness that it's happening "so soon" even though I intellectually knew that 8-10 is the age when many many girls do start developing.
My "baby" daughter who is now 8 was diagnosed with early puberty two years ago. What I thought it was similar to your daughter is that my daughter stop eating or drinking any dairy products when she was 2 1/2 years old. We try to be organic as much as we can. She did a few hand x-rays but you have to know when to stop all these tests. Her breast bud comes on and off. Right now she is just starting to have one and it freaks me out. She is only eight. Also very tall for her age. Well, we just hope that the other symptoms won't appear soon. She is only eight.......
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#13 of 30 Old 09-02-2010, 02:19 PM
 
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Here's a reason to be glad: a friend of mine is dealing with this, along with pubic hair, in her daughter who just turned 5 in July. Doc took her off of soy milk (estrogen mimicker) and suggested only organic/hormone free meats. My daughter will be 5 in October, and I just.couldn't.imagine.

I think regardless of the age, as mothers, we will all feel a bit sad when this time approaches for our girls. Especially in today's society when childhood seems to be getting shorter and shorter.


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#14 of 30 Old 09-07-2010, 05:31 AM
 
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I'm a mom to a boy, but just wanted to say that it's absolutely scary how early girls are now developing. My niece got her period at age 10. TEN!!!
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#15 of 30 Old 09-07-2010, 07:11 AM
 
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I know the feelings well! If it's any consolation mine is nearer nine and there haven't been further changes in the last year or so. I'm taking a lot of comfort from friends with older girls that it's by no means seen as odd at school to be menstruating by year five, (The one they turn ten in over here,) and that they are set up with bins, single sex changing rooms for sports, etc.

The thing I'm finding hardest is teaching her modesty and awareness when she's still very innocent. I'm being as gentle as I know how, but I'm sure she feels shamed when I'm telling her such and such top is a bad idea for the trampoline, and actually she does need more than a skirt over her swimsuit to go and get an ice-cream etc
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#16 of 30 Old 09-07-2010, 09:13 PM
 
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I know the feelings well! If it's any consolation mine is nearer nine and there haven't been further changes in the last year or so. I'm taking a lot of comfort from friends with older girls that it's by no means seen as odd at school to be menstruating by year five, (The one they turn ten in over here,) and that they are set up with bins, single sex changing rooms for sports, etc.

The thing I'm finding hardest is teaching her modesty and awareness when she's still very innocent. I'm being as gentle as I know how, but I'm sure she feels shamed when I'm telling her such and such top is a bad idea for the trampoline, and actually she does need more than a skirt over her swimsuit to go and get an ice-cream etc
poor kids.
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#17 of 30 Old 09-08-2010, 12:52 PM
 
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I'm a mom to a boy, but just wanted to say that it's absolutely scary how early girls are now developing. My niece got her period at age 10. TEN!!!
I got mine at 10 30 years ago. So, not terribly new.

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#18 of 30 Old 09-08-2010, 08:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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poor kids.
Why?

Good girls (and boys) go through puberty too. It's a fact of life.

I think one of the reasons why self esteem amongst girls bombs out is because we do send them horrific messages about puberty and then as adults women want to look like undeveloped prepubescent girls (according to fashion).

I was freaked out for a few weeks when my DD started developing--but I'm over that and now I'm really pissed that people are so down on the girls at the beginning of the bell curve. I am worried about environmental toxins and the like too--but is it worth destroying our girls over, and making those at the beginning stages of NORMAL feel like freaks?
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#19 of 30 Old 09-08-2010, 09:31 PM
 
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I got mine at 10 30 years ago. So, not terribly new.
Same here--@10 which was 30 years ago. My mother was 11, and that was in the 1940s. The women in our family have always reached puberty quite young.

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#20 of 30 Old 09-08-2010, 10:00 PM
 
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I'm a mom to a boy, but just wanted to say that it's absolutely scary how early girls are now developing. My niece got her period at age 10. TEN!!!
I feel the exact way--for many reasons - Shorter Lifespan/Women who go through menopause at 55 live an average of two years longer than women who go through menopause at age 40. Many see a direct link between start of puberty and onset of menopause.


I don't feel it's all food and even doing organics is not always safe (regarding hormones)- http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/07/sc...=1&ref=science

I would personally have my DD hormone levels checked and her over all health evaluated simply to rule out any issues .

 

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#21 of 30 Old 09-09-2010, 03:24 PM
 
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Serenbat,
I don't dispute that we should be vigilant to our environment for factors which could be harmful but I have to say that I feel very strongly that, unless she has cause for complaint, I will NOT be getting a medical evaluation for my child because she's developing breast buds at age eight.

I'm one of (I'm sure many) mothers on this board who came while pregnant and looking for philosophies which were more respectful of women than the medical model. I want my daughter to become a confident young woman who is able to trust her instincts and, in general, take responsibility for her own health.
I don't think running to the doctor at the earliest indication she's entering a normal part of her development is conducive to developing that confidence.
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#22 of 30 Old 09-09-2010, 04:02 PM
 
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I'm a mom to a boy, but just wanted to say that it's absolutely scary how early girls are now developing. My niece got her period at age 10. TEN!!!
I'm 44. I had full blown breasts by age 10, and menstruated just after 11. That's the pattern in our family. I had size 10 feet (in women's) by age 10. Try convincing shoe clerks that no, you really did need a size 10!

Normal development (and 10 is definitely within the range of typical) is not something to be scared or sorry about. I fully expect my dd to be menstruating by 10 or 11. Part of it is increased nutrition, part of it is her body type (she's in the 90th percentile for height and weight). I believe that menstruating right around 100 lbs is pretty typical. Dd is 40 lbs away but gains about 6-10 lbs. a year. So, age 10 would be about right.

I'll be a little sad when dd develops breast buds (I expect 8 is probably when it'll happen) because it's the beginning of the end of her childhood. That makes me nostalgic.

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#23 of 30 Old 09-09-2010, 09:15 PM
 
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I will NOT be getting a medical evaluation for my child because she's developing breast buds at age eight.
I know a girl that started at 7 1/2- her hormone levels increased so fast, she developed other issue too and her parents were grateful they did the testing. To each their own.

I don't jump at the slightest little thing and run but there are some issue that do warrant attention.

 

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#24 of 30 Old 09-10-2010, 10:55 AM
 
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Another "oldie" at 42 who started menstruating by at least age 10. I wish I could remember exactly; but what I do remember is that 2 months before my 11th birthday, I was in the hospital for skin graft surgery. I did not have bathroom privileges. I was in an adult hospital and told the nurse I had my period. "No you don't," she said. She left me there and refused to get me a pad. A couple of hours later she came back, saw blood all over the sheets and said "oh, look at that, I guess you really do have your period!"

I still remember that. I can't remember when it actually started, but it must have been happening for enough months that I felt very casual about it (until that point, mind you). I'm hoping it wasn't even earlier than that, only because I've heard there's a higher chance of things like breast cancer in women who started menstruating young. OTOH, I've also heard if you start menstruation earlier, you enter menopause late; which in my case is good, since I'd like another baby.

As for the breast buds, I don't remember a time in my childhood when I didn't have them. They happened REALLY young and so did the other stuff, right down to the great big feet (now size 12) when I was a kid.

It WAS a bit hard; but I also had other things going on, like severe burns and braces, so I didn't need anything else to make me stand out.

FWIW, if it happens with dd, I don't intend to tell her she needs to change her clothing or wear a bra or anything. I'll try to find a way to let her know what options are out there and maybe that others might think she "needs" a bra, just to give her a heads-up so she won't be embarrassed. I don't know. I do want her to know she can still be a child when she starts to develop, for as long as she wants. I wish someone had said something like that to me. Just because I was menstruating and wore a C-cup didn't mean I wanted to be a teenager. I wanted to be a kid.
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#25 of 30 Old 09-12-2010, 03:57 PM
 
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I got breast buds at nine, period at 13, and I am now an A cup after two kids. That was normal for my very typically developing family, and we aren't large or anything, either. We ate healthy food, not much meat or dairy at all at that time (being poor).

So I just want to reassure you that even if she's early, she may not be noticeably so.


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#26 of 30 Old 09-14-2010, 12:35 AM
 
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I got my period right at 11 so I don't find age 10 to be early either (I'm 29). With that said, I was still a "kid" until age 13 or so. I still played and refused to wear a bra (until I finally got embarrassed enough by people's comments). I don't think menstruation has to necessarily "end" childhood. There can be a transition. As with any "change" in our children it does always take some getting used to for the parents. In my head, my dd will always be 2 years old.

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#27 of 30 Old 09-15-2010, 12:56 AM
 
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Can someone please explain to me what exactly is a breast bud?
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#28 of 30 Old 09-15-2010, 11:24 AM
 
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When I was living in Europe, I remember a girl on the beach who was transitioning into puberty and how she and her mom were topless and just walked around comfortably and casually around everyone, even her father and brothers. That was the first time I noticed it, but it was something I witnessed in many countries.

I aspire to that, to giving my Dd room to feel at ease. Obviously, in our culture, she can't go topless, but, otherwise, we will not try to hide the outline of her body unless she asks for something special.

When she was five, we looked into a karate class, and he said that the girls wear a camisole under their clothes. When I asked, he said it was because women have breasts. We skipped that school of karate.
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#29 of 30 Old 08-19-2011, 06:07 PM
 
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I don't know if this is still going on...but I was alerted to buds last night. I am sad, because my baby is soo immature, she calls the sun Mr. Sun and the moon Mr. Moon..she is 8 years old.  She is about 4'2" and weighs a slim 56 pounds. My sister told me to bring her to the doctor just to make sure she's on track. I talked to her about her body and she is so silly and immature I don't know how to get thru this. She watches sprout tv and only likes movies with animals...ugh...I just wanted to share that with someone....thanks for listening...

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#30 of 30 Old 04-21-2014, 07:36 PM
 
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My daughter has breasts and she just turned 9. She has full out breasts and wears a B cup already. We took her to the doctor and they said its precocious puberty. I'm so not ready for this!! She's 5'6 and 122 pounds. She's taller than me already and Im 5'4!!!!
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