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#61 of 159 Old 03-14-2010, 10:39 AM
 
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Hi, everyone!

ONE MORE DAY in my cast! Crossing my fingers that's true, anyway. You know, I just want to point out that while I, too, am glad I have had lots of help, I did have to explicitly ask for it and it was REALLY HARD for me to do. I don't LIKE asking for help. I think I'm supposed to be learning some kind of lesson about asking for help from this whole thing, but I'm not sure exactly what.

Amy, I hope your student is doing & feeling better this week. That sounds like a really rough situation.

Max, good luck with your church search. I'm sorry the one you were at didn't work - I remember you talking about their relentless pursuit of volunteers - it always makes me cringe when I hear stuff like that! It sounds like involvement at a level you can be comfortable with is really important to all of you so I hope you find the right place for you all soon!

Good to see you, Jackie! We home/unschool. Have I told you guys about our blogs? I decided to keep blogs for each kid to make portfolio creation easier (we have to have a portfolio review 2x/year). DS1 who is 6 is "official" this year, while my May baby, DS2 doesn't have to be official but of course wanted his own blog if his big brother was going to have one. Anyway, they're here and here if you're curious.

Here as mama to W (2/04), R (5/06), D (7/09), and J (12/9/12!), co-parenting with my DH

I WOH part-time, am a doula & childbirth educator, home/unschool, and hope we are nearing the center of chaos


 
  

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#62 of 159 Old 03-14-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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Mamabeakley, I completely understand where you are coming from w/asking for help. I stuggle w/this too, in a big way. I very rarely come right out & ask for help, unless I am desperate. For example, my inlaws called & asked if we needed any help shoveling snow. (We did.) But I got the vibe from her tone that they'd rather not do it, so I said no. I wished she had just said, "We know you can't shovel the snow, so we are going to come over & do it." Then I would have completely accepted the help. She also often says, "Just let us know if there is anything we can do..." But often when I have asked in the past I've been rejected, which really upsets me, since it's so hard for me to ask. So now I just don't ask. Really, the only things I'll ask for is help watching the kids if there is something important we have to do. It would be soooooooo helpful if they could bring a meal over, or help w/yardwork and household things, but I just don't feel comfortable asking, like I should be able to do those things. So Mamabeakley when you said you had lots of help, I think I was feeling really glad for you bc I know how hard it is to go it alone.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#63 of 159 Old 03-15-2010, 07:38 AM
 
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Also, thanks all for the support about finding a new church. I wanted to let you know we had a really nice experience at the congregational church yesterday. The kids loved their church school & dh & I really enjoyed the service. We met up w/a neighborhood family & a preschool family we know, as well as a couple of other acquaintances. We are going to give this one a try, but this time I am taking it slowly.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#64 of 159 Old 03-15-2010, 06:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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One of the really lovely things about my community is how we very consciously make time to gather and really talk. Last time all the women got together for a fire in one friend's tipi, we talked a lot about reaching out to each other and helping each other. I think we have an extremely connected circle of friends, but even still it is hard to ask for help. I'll be going to a friend's blessingway in a couple weeks, and someone will start the food chain then. The newly growing family will have people bringing them food for at least a month. We organize work parties and try to coordinate gardening, building, sewing, and canning efforts. Yet we still feel like we are doing everything ourselves and that it is the expectation to be able to manage everything alone. It's a tough cultural message to shake.

Mamabeakley, are you cast-free?
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#65 of 159 Old 03-16-2010, 02:24 PM
 
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I am cast free. It's kind of scary feeling, really. I think it's more my tendons/bruises that feel that way than the bone, though. I am in a walking "boot" which is kind of a strap-on velcro & neoprene thingy, and I'm supposed to be "weaning" myself off of the crutches this week. So far, I do NOT like trying to take a step without the crutches, but it is WAY more comfortable to take little steps with them than it was in the cast.

Glad you had a good church experience, Max!

We are getting a piano - MIL/FIL are moving everything out of their house & we get the piano! Now, how to fit it in our extremely small house . . .

Here as mama to W (2/04), R (5/06), D (7/09), and J (12/9/12!), co-parenting with my DH

I WOH part-time, am a doula & childbirth educator, home/unschool, and hope we are nearing the center of chaos


 
  

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#66 of 159 Old 03-16-2010, 03:29 PM
 
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Hi mamas!! We are back from vacation!! It was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Truly, truly amazing! We went to Playa Del Carmen in Mexico and had the time of our life. The resort was incredible, staff was amazing and the food phenomenal! Really, I could go on and on, but I won't, lol. One of the excursions we did was a combo of snorkeling in a cenote (underground water "hole") rapelling off a 70 foot tower, and ziplining. Needless to say, I conquered many fears. The girls did great, they had a ton of fun with all of their Grandparents. As much fun as we had, I am soooo happy to be home. I feel renewed, refreshed and ready to tackle on the everday stresses. Although I patiently waited for someone to bring me coffee yesterday morning, until I realized I am home and not in paradise, lol!!

Busy Mama to three beautiful girls and loving wife to my hubby
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#67 of 159 Old 03-16-2010, 04:15 PM
 
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Yay for no cast Mamabeakley! Take it slow though friend. No need to rush things.

And yay for a great vacation Sydnee!! That sounds truly amazing. I'm glad you had such a nice time.

Amy, your group of friends sound so amazing. I would love to have a social network like that around here.

I just had a nice one hour telephone conversation w/my best friend. (Not sure how I got through an hour on the phone w/out any interruptions. I think the universe knew I needed it!!) She lives an hour away, so we don't see each other nearly enough. Her dh has been through a similar injury experience as mine, so she was a huge support.

And it feels like spring here! That sure lifts my spirits.

Hope everyone is well.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#68 of 159 Old 03-16-2010, 07:15 PM
 
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nak

hey ladies! sorry to drive by post , got a lot goin on here . bbl to chek yall out

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#69 of 159 Old 03-16-2010, 07:24 PM
 
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MCB! Congratulations on your second baby!!! Can't wait to hear all about it & how you've been.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#70 of 159 Old 03-16-2010, 11:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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MCB, we'll take a drive by! Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Sydnee, I am insanely jealous. That trip sounds fabulous.

Mamabeakley, hooray for increased mobility! DH had one of those boots when he broke his foot this summer. The incompetant dr. said it wasn't broken--just take it easy for a few days. After a week of terrible pain he saw a different dr. who got him a boot. He was amazed at how much better the boot made his foot feel and how he could get around with it pretty well.

DH's birthday is next month and I want to get him a kayak. There's one locally for sale for cheap, but it's not exactly the perfect type. I can't decide if I should just get it because it's a good $100 less than anything else I'd find or spend more and get one that I know would work well on the ocean. I really don't know that much about kayaks, so I'm a little overwhelmed by all the choices! The Old Town factory store is about an hour away and they are having their big spring scratch and dent sale in a few weeks, so maybe I'll just hold out for that. Does anyone else kayak? What are your preferences?
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#71 of 159 Old 03-17-2010, 01:30 PM
 
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:l ove

HELLO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to mamacatsbaby I was able to find you all and I am stopping in to say a HUGE HELLO! I hope everyone is doing well and hugs to those with sick loved ones, may they get better very soon!

I have thought of my May 06 mamas SO many times, you guys dont even know! Next month marks the anniversary of the most difficult time in my life, and the May 06 mamas were so sweet and helpful and were there for me, I will never forget it.

I have not been posting on MDC all this time, although I lurked occasionally. My March 07 rainbow Luca had all of my attention-and wow does she require a lot of it!

Anyway, HELLO to all of you!!! And please check out my signature

Happy mama to my four girls S 8.15.02 , L 04.25.06 (gone at 36 weeks ) and L 3.10.07.And another rainbow! Baby C has arrived 10.26.10!
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#72 of 159 Old 03-17-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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ILoveMySophie, so good to hear from you!! It's like a family reunion here! Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope you & your family are doing well. I think of you often. You were my best online shopping buddy.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#73 of 159 Old 03-18-2010, 12:37 PM
 
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Hey MCB and ILMS!!!! Great to see you two on the thread!!!! ILMS, huge congrats on the pregnancy!!

The "asking for help" issue has been a big one here, too. I had a little bit of a breakdown this weekend when DH told me he couldn't watch DS1 while I went to my pp check-up, and I realized there was NO ONE else I could ask. Very lonely feeling.

We got through that, (DH was able to watch DS1 after all) and then Monday night we realized DS2 had a very, very high fever (39.7 C). We went to the pediatric ER and he was admitted. They took blood, urine and even talked about doing a spinal tap, which THANK GOD they didn't have to do. It turns out he has a urinary tract infection and we were released from the hospital today. We have to go back every day for IV antibiotics for the next week. And I get home today to realize that DS1 is also sick... Am so tired of sickness!!

And I would love to write more but DS1 is home from school and needs a snack... Love to all the May Mamas!
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#74 of 159 Old 03-18-2010, 01:15 PM
 
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Oh Mary, that sounds so scary! I'm glad ds2 is OK and I hope ds1 feels better soon. That must have been horrible for you mama. Big hugs to your whole family.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#75 of 159 Old 03-18-2010, 02:54 PM
 
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Marylizah- Oh mama, many hugs to you! I hope little one is feeling better and that DS1 gets over whatever he has. Keeping you in my prayers!

Max- It feels like spring here too, and boy oh boy does that change my mood!!! I am lovin this!

IlovemySophie- SOOOO nice to see you back, and congrats on your pregnancy!!!

MCB- I have missed you! Congrats on your new little bundle, hope to hear more from you!!!

ecoteat- Hope you fin the right kayake for your DH! We could go kayaking in the ocean, but I couldn't even bear the thought of it with how big some of the waves were, lol.

Mamabeakely- YAY for the no cast!!! Hope it is going well!!

Well, my first week back from vacation has gone very well, lol. Although I am missing someone bringing me drinks and coffee, lol. I added a new profile pic from Mexico, *sigh*....

Busy Mama to three beautiful girls and loving wife to my hubby
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#76 of 159 Old 03-19-2010, 08:08 PM
 
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Great to see some long-time-no-sees, MCB & ILMS! Congratulations!

Sydnee, I'm glad your vacation was fun!

Mary, I'm glad DS2 is doing okay. Hope you get a break from the sickies soon!

I can *almost* walk without the crutches. I can definitely envision that I'll be able to by early next week. Yay!

We also got our tax refund so have today paid off all our cc debt and have a little in a savings account . . . well, until we have to start paying bills for my broken ankle or one of our cars breaks. But it's a good feeling.

I'm going to be really glad when it's next week. DH's parents have to be out of their huge house they've lived in for 20 years, I am working all day Saturday, chaperoning an overnight (with DD along) at a church, and working Sunday morning, and DH's parents & youngest brother are coming to stay at our house for three days starting Sunday night. DS1 pretty much doesn't want to do ANYTHING other than build spaceships with legos and play video games. DS2 is going a little frantic trying to get somebody, anybody's attention. And DD learned to crawl this week and is very separation-anxiety-ish as a result and is either having a growth spurt or teething cause she wants to nurse continuously (for her).

But none of this is bad, just overwhelming. This too shall pass. Hope you all have a more relaxing weekend than I'm anticipating!

Here as mama to W (2/04), R (5/06), D (7/09), and J (12/9/12!), co-parenting with my DH

I WOH part-time, am a doula & childbirth educator, home/unschool, and hope we are nearing the center of chaos


 
  

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#77 of 159 Old 03-22-2010, 09:24 PM
 
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hey beautiful may mamas! i think of u often and hope to keep up with this thred now. things r so nutty! im in school (made the dean's list last semestr, yay!), taking care of the boys , we recently moved, lots of othr stuf goin on but i'v only got the t1h goin here

much love and healing to all who r sick . so jealous of sydnee's vacation . sounds awesom! want to write mor but babe needs to b chnged n this plce looks like a tragedy . so in love with ds2 tho! ear

bbs!

nak

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#78 of 159 Old 03-23-2010, 03:43 PM
 
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so nice to see you mamas too!!!! Still cannot believe how time flies!

Happy mama to my four girls S 8.15.02 , L 04.25.06 (gone at 36 weeks ) and L 3.10.07.And another rainbow! Baby C has arrived 10.26.10!
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#79 of 159 Old 03-23-2010, 04:08 PM
 
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Hey mamas. So nice to "see your faces" MCB & ILMS here again.

Mamabeakley, how's your week going? I hope it's not too stressful.

Sydnee, you look so happy & just glowing in your new picture. I am so glad that your vacation went so well.

Mary, how are the boys? I hope everyone is feeling better.

Amy, did you make a decision on the kayak? My dh used to kayak a bit. We have an ocean kayak. If you want me to get his opinion on your purchase, just let me know.

Speaking of dh, he met w/the surgeon yesterday. He is scheduled for surgery April 13th. We are both pretty nervous about it. (Other than my c-section we've never had any experience w/surgery.) But at this point, I just want to get it done & over with and have him feeling bettter. It has been a long road!

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#80 of 159 Old 03-23-2010, 07:28 PM
 
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Anyone thinking about birthday parties yet? May will be here faster than we know it!!
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#81 of 159 Old 03-24-2010, 12:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Max, I'd be really nervous about surgery too. But I know he's tried other things first without relief, so I'm sure it will work out fine. What a scary ordeal to have to go through, though.

I need some advice--a friend of mine and her 2 teenage kids were completely blindsided yesterday by her husband announcing that he is filing for divorce. My heart is breaking for her and I can't get her out of my mind. I want to help her, but I have no idea what she needs right now. I'm going to write her a nice note letting her know I'm here to help and that I'm thinking of her and to reassure her that she is not a bad person for this (I know she is feeling that way). But what else can I do?

kgianforti, I have been starting to toss some birthday ideas around, but nothing tnagible quite yet. My parents will be visiting for the occasion, so there will be some sort of party, probably outside. One year we watched a movie outside projected on the side of the house, which was great fun. If the weather and bugs are conducive to that we'll probably do it again.

MCB, what are you studying? Congrats on Dean's list!
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#82 of 159 Old 03-24-2010, 07:07 AM
 
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Hmm, birthday parties! Orion and I share the same birthday, although I think this is the last year we will be doing a bbq. I want to have it at the park this year, that way we won't have 20 kids running all over the yard--they can play in the swamp. Oh joy. (The park has a swamp behind it and of course it's not completely fenced off--ok for the older kids, but you do worry a bit about the littler ones figuring it out.) The only problem is dp... sigh. Last year he was all "I don't want my friends getting drunk at the park", but it's such a great place for kid-friendly parties!

Orion is finally potty-learning, but when daddy came home he regressed, now he won't go off the porch at all just in his diaper. Every time DP comes home he thunders on about how Orion needs *discipline* and is *disrespecting* him and is too loud/too active/etc. I just let Orion be...maybe he is not the quietest, or most perfectly behaved, but he isn't rotten or anything...he's just a little kid. Me, I just let him be himself, if he wants to sing at the top of his lungs he's not hurting anyone, a quick reminder to use an inside voice not a hand smacking will do it. Sorry to dump this here, I am just really frustrated.

ecoteat--I don't know what you can do. Just be there for her.

sydnee, I'm glad your trip went so well!

max, I hope your new church is a good fit. It's important to find a good community.

SAHM to my wonderful constellationwild.gif 5/2006 & northern light bouncy.gif1/2009 fly-by-nursing1.giffambedsingle2.gifslingboy.gif
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#83 of 159 Old 03-24-2010, 07:33 PM
 
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We had DS2's b-day party at the park last year and it was so lovely - perfect weather, free to us, lots of fun, lots of room . . . this year DS1 didn't have a party but instead got a "fancier" present (and b-day cake & ice-cream with his cousins). I think DS2 wants a party, but we'll see.

Ecoteat, I remember from my parents' separation that my mother felt really awkward with people who seemed to think they needed to "take sides" . . . maybe a concrete thing to do would be to invite them all to a concert or picnic or something - something fun they might not otherwise feel up to organizing for themselves . . ..

Max, I hope the surgery goes well.

I am WALKING! It took about a week to get used to the walking boot but now I can carry DD and fetch & cary things & it's SO exciting to be able to get up & DO things!

Here as mama to W (2/04), R (5/06), D (7/09), and J (12/9/12!), co-parenting with my DH

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#84 of 159 Old 03-24-2010, 08:32 PM
 
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Amy, I'm sorry to hear about your friend's dh leaving. I think you are doing the right thing reaching out to her w/a note. I would just keep reaching out to her regularly, maybe invite her out for coffee, call to chat, that kind of thing. She is going to appreciate all your support.

As for party ideas, LO has been requesting a "Labybug Party", which means a family party w/lots of ladybug parphenalia around. We'll have a cake w/a ladybug on it, play pin the spots on the ladybug, etc. The fun thing about this is the big kids will love it too & help make the games, favors, decorations. We just do family parties at home (us and grandparents) until the kids reach school age. Then we incorporate "friend parties" too. (A tradition sometimes I wish I never started!!!)

Gotta run.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#85 of 159 Old 03-24-2010, 10:21 PM
 
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t1h

max, wht is ur dh having surgery for? wishing him a speedy recovery whtevr it may be.

ecoteat, yeah, just let ur frind kno ur there for he r whenevr she needs u. at leadt thts wht i wud do. im sur she's processing a lot n to hav a good frind to lean on is irreplacabl.

oh, n im doin prereqs for nursing school. looking forward to becoming a cnm

mamabeakly, glad ur up n about!

alaskaberry, ur dh really ticks me off . he needs to be cool.

on parties: not sur whats up wit parties yet

gotta run for now!!

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#86 of 159 Old 03-28-2010, 02:07 PM
 
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Happy Sunday May Mamas! : We are having the nicest day. We've gotten into a new routine where we go to church (really liking our new church), then out for breakfast. When we got home I made beef stew in the crockpot and fresh bread in the bread maker. (Just pulled the bread maker out of the attic, unused for 10 years, and loving it!) And our neighbor, also a member of the new church, surprised us w/a batch of cookies. Our nephew is coming over w/a friend to help us w/yard work, so it will be nice to get that done. All & all a peaceful, yet productive day. What is everyone else up to today?

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#87 of 159 Old 03-28-2010, 04:19 PM
 
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Hi Mamas!

I'm apparently doing a poor job lately of keeping up, so I will have to read back a few pages to see what is going on in everyones lives.

We are all well here. Just had a day trip (3.5 hours each way) to see in the in-laws with kids. It actually turned out pretty well, so we are planning more trips there. Their property and house has really become run-down and worn over the last few years, so we want to help them make it nicer again. Plus having the kids playing there is added incentive to make it safer!

I know a couple of you live close to/live with your in-laws. How is that working out with you? Did you have to set any ground rules first? How do you deal with less privacy?

We are thinking of moving in with our ILs temporarily (for no more than 2 years, max) so we can sell our house here and buy property in Colorado and build a house. Ambitious, I know! We would prefer not moving up there, but it really seems to be the only way we can sell the house (we have WAY too much stuff, and need to do some fixing on our house too). We will see how it works out.

I know the subject of homeschooling came up a while back and I wanted to chime in. We are planning to HS our kids, especially since the public schools around here are terrible, and I'm not sure the few good charter schools would be the best fit for her. So we are figuring it out as we go. DH was homeschooled for a time, and I was horribly bored in school, so we hope to be able to challenge her better and give her more support than the schools seem to. Right now we don't have eyes on a specific curriculum, but we will try to follow her interests and see what works best for her.

Anywhoo, I have a few pages of reading to do now. I'll be back in a while!!

Just a modifiedartist.gif trying to find some peace and regain my balance.
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#88 of 159 Old 03-28-2010, 05:15 PM
 
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Hi Blue Lotus. Good to hear from you! Regarding your question about the inlaws, we live about 20 minutes from ours. We hope to at some point share a house w/them, w/each family having their own separate living spaces. We were moving forward actively on the plan, but now that dh has hurt his back everything is on hold. They are great, very respectful of our privacy, we share similar value systems & lifestyles. The one issue that would be challenging is that MIL does not always respect my parenting choices. Not in a mean way, but more in a let-Grammie-spoil-the grandkids way and that drives me bonkers. We have had talks about it when it comes up, but it still happens. If we were to live together this would most likely be my biggest problem. Otherwise, there would be so many positive aspects to it. I hope it works out for you!

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#89 of 159 Old 03-28-2010, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are having a lovely day, too. We had breakfast with friends and all the girls (4 of them aged 3-7) played together. Then Phoebe and I went on our "secret adventure" to pick up a kayak for dh. I found the perfect kind in the classifieds and she threw in a life vest and paddle. As we were talking in her garage she noticed a child's vest that her granddaughter has outgrown, so she gave it to Phoebe, which was perfect since Phoebe outgrew her old one at the end of last season! Then we took it to our friends' house and hid it under their canoe. Dh will be delighted. And I'm pleased that I have his birthday all taken care of weeks in advance.

Yesterday I went to my friend's blessingway and it was so nice. There were almost 30 women there! We tend to have pretty wonderful food when we gather for potlucks, and last night did not disappoint. I wish I had known all these ladies when I was pregnant. I knew a few of them, but not very well yet. I'm already looking forward to the next one--another friend is due in a couple months and I'm sure there will be another celebration for her.
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#90 of 159 Old 03-28-2010, 07:46 PM
 
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Amy, that does sound like a lovely day. Can Phoebe keep your secret adventure a secret? LO will whisper any secret to you if you ask. She thinks if she whispers it, she isn't really telling. And the blessingway sounds amazing! What an incredible experience that must be for all in attendance.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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