Join Date: Feb 2010
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"Maybe if you can take the conflict out of the things you all have to do together at home, it will add some serenity and happy expectation to her day that she otherwise misses while in school."
So you think I should just not have any expectations for her after school? I try not to, I try to be understanding, but she really pushes my buttons. Today, I was waiting outside of school to pick her up like always, and she comes out, sees me and throws down her backpack at my feet not acknowledging me AT ALL. Then she walks away as I say, "Hi! Can I have a hug? etc." This happens everyday, that she totally ignores me.
Then I follow behind her and say, lets go get in the car so we can go home and start supper. She runs away or ignores me, so I get frustrated and end up angrily saying, "Okay meet me in the car in one minute!" Keep in mind it is negative ten degrees outside. In the warmer weather I always let her stay and play on the playground longer.
So she eventually comes to the car, but usually it takes between 5-10 minutes after I tell her. I just don't understand her defiance to everything I do or say. She won't even acknowledge me after being at school all day.
Maybe I am being immature, she probably is just tired etc. from her day, but it hurts my feelings. Every other kid comes out of school and happily hugs their parent or takes their hand or at least says hi.
I am going to start making simpler things for dinner, so we can do reading or games before dinner. This quiet time is nice to spend with her. thanks for your reply honeybunmom
I need help with my five year old dd. She is a dear sweet child, very bright, creative, and off in her own world much of the time. She is really hating school. She has been hiding almost every morning before school, so i end up getting angry at her almost every morning, which is so awful to start the day that way. From what I can gather, she doesn't like gym, computers, and all the writing. She gets bored and frustrated with the worksheets. Her penmanship was okay at the beginning of the year when the writing stuff was new and exciting, but now it is awful, because she just doesn't like it or care. I spoke with her teacher, and she said, "She just wants to do her own thing all the time". With my dd her own thing is making art usually. She is the same way at home. Very very into doing only what she sees as important or meaningful. But you can't really get through life like that, I mean you have to do stuff you don't want to do sometimes. It is same with getting dressed, and outdoor gear on. She is ALWAYS the very last child out of her classroom at the end of the day because she takes so long to get dressed. She hates it! She will be the last child out, and she will still have her coat unzipped, her pants falling down, her hat falling off her head, etc. I mean I have to just laugh to myself when I see her, but she is kind of extreme in this way.
I have tried different things with her and getting upset with her doesn't seem to help. She does better with positive, but it feels like everything has to be her way all the time, or she gets really pissed at me and will do stuff like hide, make mean faces at me, throw things at me, just try to antagonize me in different ways. And she is good at antagonizing me, really good at it.
So she is angry at me a lot because I have expectations of her, and she adores her dad. I thought little girls were supposed to like their moms at this age? Her dad doesn't do the same amount of disciplining that I do, or really expect much from her, so I guess that could be part of it.
This is rambling, so I will end. I guess my major concern is the lack of cooperation she shows me, her constant anger towards me, and her lack of trying at school with the things she doesn't like. I just find myself angry at her way too much. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks