She just seems "stuck" lately on wanting things to be HER way and she freaks out when they don't go that way. She's not as flexible when it comes to play or even when it comes to how we are going to do every day chores or whatever. She seems more sensitive too to how I react, ie. If she is making a naughty choice and not doing what she's told and then somehow bumps her elbow or falls or whatever and then I don't react wholeheartedly to her "injury" because I'm frustrated that she was making a naughty choice in the first place, she will only fixate on me "not caring" about her pain. "It's like you don't even care that I got hurt!"
I just feel like I have to ask her to do things over and over and over and I'm losing my mind! I always have repercussions for when she doesn't listen but half the time I swear she really was just in her own world.
I know my sweet girl is still in there. She's really loving and kind and SO eloquent. I just have to keep fighting this feeling like I screwed up somewhere. I just want her to be polite yet strong and assertive. Smart and independent. Flexible and creative. And so on...
Anyway, is this normal? Anyone else going through this?
Mama to Maia (12/04), Nora (9/09), Sam (8/12) and Step-mama to Aidan (3/02) and Luci (10/04).
Hang in there. It's hard to be thrown a curve-ball, just when we think everything is going great!
Threw me for a loop the first couple of incidences....then I just returned to re-emphasizing the rules/expectations and letting some things go because they were getting too much attention and, thus, multiplying.
He's starting to realize that his new found behaviors just aren't getting him anywhere and he "starting" (fingers crossed that it continues) to return to "normal".
It's a "back to basics" phase...praise the positive, re-emphazise rules/expectations, lateral consequences, etc. You know.
They seem to be learning a new place in life. Trying to see what "powers" they can display while mastering a new phase of independance.
It was a good time for us to reasses our house rules...some rules were outdated and, therefore, creating unwarranted power struggles.
It's not an easy phase....I almost wish for the "terrible twos" again when at the height of my (our) frustration.
It's crazy and I have repeatedly googled for childhood hormones but haven't found anything about that. It just seems so hormonal-driven some days.
I don't see how it couldn't! Their little bodies are in a tumultuous upswing and growth has got to throw their hormones for a shwack!
Seems like it happens at 2, 5ish, 8ish, 13ish, etc.
Maybe someone else will come along with supporting documentation...
As far as a solution I take each day at a time and if things get way to dramatic she goes to her room and I go to mine and we both have a time out and then talk about what happened and what should have happened. I speak to her calmly and explain that the "drama" makes me exhausted and when she acts this way and it drains me then I don't have any energy to do fun stuff. Dh has used the exhausting excuse and so far it seems to work better than anything else we have tried.
Good luck, I am right there with you!
Yoga loving momma to DD, Eden Raine 8/04 , DS Brett Edwin 2/08, DS Brantley Albert 12/12 and wife for more than a decade to Jason
~Living to preserve Gods green earth~