Do you wake up before your kids? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 11:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
SoulCakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 541
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My daughter wakes up every morning at 8am. On school days I'm up by 7:30am, but otherwise I'm still asleep when she crawls in bed with us and wants breakfast. She can make her own toast and help herself to yogurt and fruit from the kitchen, so usually I beg off for a while and get an additional half hour of sleep (sometimes longer!).

But this bugs me... my parents were ALWAYS awake before I was growing up! It's weird to me that my daughter is growing up with a "sleeping mommy" who doesn't want to leap out of bed first thing in the morning. I'm heavily dependent on sleep, too - if I don't get eight hours, I can barely get out from under the covers! My daughter doesn't like it, either.

Is this normal? Since I was a late riser even as a child, I'm conditioned to think that in normal families the parents are up before the kids. I have all these great memories of waking up to the smell of coffee and pancakes cooking, and my parents (chipperly) sitting around the breakfast table. I WANT THAT... but it just seems to conflict with my biology.

So... do you get up before your kids, and do you think it's important? Is my child going to be scarred for life because I sleep in? And does anyone have any helpful tips for transforming yourself into a morning person?

Thanks!
SoulCakes is offline  
#2 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 11:40 AM
 
Alyantavid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 7,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My parents were always up before me growing up too. But my mom's got weird sleep habits, she can't sleep past 5 in the morning, ever.

Weekdays, I'm up and gone before anyone else wakes up. But weekends, the boys always wake up at 7:30. They usually play, watch cartoons and eat something before dh and I get up.

I don't have any advice. I hate getting up at 5:30 on weekdays, so on the weekends, I need to stay in bed later, even if I'm awake. I guess I don't see it as a big deal, just how some people do things.
Alyantavid is offline  
#3 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 11:58 AM
 
Julie1014's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Denver
Posts: 117
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm always up before DS but that's for MY sake, not his. I need some quiet time when I first get up. Time to make lunches, drink a cup of coffee and skim the newspaper before shifting into full-on Mommy Mode. The mornings that he's up early are really difficult for me.

I don't think it's a big deal but if it bothers you, maybe you can try going to bed a bit earlier so you get up earlier. I need my sleep, too, so I'm in bed by 9:30, at the latest.

Julie - Wife to Louis, Mamma to Ben (11/06) and 2
Julie1014 is offline  
#4 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 12:09 PM
 
Llyra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: right here
Posts: 9,450
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I aspire to be up before my kids. I have these rosy fantasies of being up and cheerful and dressed and cooking a beautiful breakfast.

It never happens, though.

I am apparently constitutionally incapable of waking up one minute before I need to. When I was working, I routinely got up less than ten minutes before time to leave the house.

I get up every morning when DS finally loses his patience with me, and climbs on my head and starts shouting "I need my MILK!" in my ear at top volume. My girls learned long ago to stay in their room and amuse themselves until I get up, but DS has less patience and is very hungry in the morning. I plan to teach him to get his own milk, very soon.

I wouldn't worry about it. Kids are smart and resilient and flexible and they'll love you even if you're a slug-a-bed. My mom never got up early either. Actually, when I got older, she didn't even get out of bed in the morning-- she had a phone installed in my room, on a separate line, and she'd call me up from her room and let it ring until I got mad and got up. My brother was a morning person, so he was always up, and we'd get our own breakfast, and by the time we were ready to leave for school, my mom would have dragged herself up. Anyway, it did me no harm and didn't bother me any-- she was a fantastic mother, and always there for me when I really needed her, and I never missed having her be some kind of shiny-happy morning person.

me knit.gif, he bikenew.gif, my three reading.gif, sleepytime.gif, and fairy.gif-- and the one we lost angel2.gif
Llyra is offline  
#5 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 12:35 PM
 
HappilyEvrAfter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,013
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My parents were always up before me too, but I was notoriously great sleeper...and still would be if I hadn't been gifted with my son.

On weekdays I'm up almost an hour and a half before him with no problem.
On weekends we get up together. I really tried to be up before him just to get some time to myself, but he'd just get up with me.

Strangest thing...no matter what time I decide to wake up, he matches the time. If I get up at 5am, he's up too. If I sleep till 8am, he'll sleep too. So, I just decided to stop trying to beat him up.


...but my parents would NEVER do the co-sleeping thing. It wasn't even an option. I never got the option of being snuggled up next to one of them for the whole night.

Center
HappilyEvrAfter is offline  
#6 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 12:53 PM
 
Ornery's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,908
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It really depends on the day. I haven't had to get up to wake up my oldest since he was around 8. He is always up when he needs to be and gets himself ready. I used to make sure to be up to help him get ready but now that he is 14, all I can do is wave as he walks out the door so I don't bother anymore.

My little ones sometimes sleep late and I typically get up around 8:00 (lazy me!). So occasionally they will wake up and then wake me up but most days I'm up before them. I don't feel comfortable with sleeping while they are playing so as soon as they wake up, I'm up.
Ornery is offline  
#7 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 12:55 PM
 
ann_of_loxley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
Posts: 5,454
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes - but thats only because the sun is shining now and I am up around 7 or 8 and my son wakes up much later than that around 9 or 10 because we don't do 'bedtime' and he goes to bed when we go to bed - around 10 or 11 so still gets 10-12 hours of sleep!

I love it. It means I can get up and tidy the kitchen and bathroom, etc before he gets up! hehe

When he was a bit younger and went to bed earlier - he did get up for a bit before me.

But - he has either always been really great at sleeping or really great at entertaining himself.

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
ann_of_loxley is offline  
#8 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 01:32 PM
 
SunshineJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In transition
Posts: 1,837
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No we're not up before the kids and I don't see any harm in it. The only benefit I can see of having grown up with my grandmother getting up before I did was that she had breakfast on the table when I first came in. Anything I need to do to prepare for the morning can be done the night before, and DH and I are nightowls. Of course, with elementary aged children who STILL do not sleep through the night, I figure it's a fair enough trade off - you wake me up all night, don't expect me up before you! LOL!
SunshineJ is offline  
#9 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 01:36 PM
 
spirit4ever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 1,222
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my kids are always up before dh and i, usually one of us will get up with them, i'm longing for the day they can all get up on their own!!! doesn't bother me whatsoever, we're not morning people by any means (not really late night people either!!!).

growing up i actually asked my mom to stay in bed!!! i liked getting up, getting my own breakfast and having time to myself!!!!

Mom to Ds1 (8 1/2) Ds2 (6) Dd (2 1/2)!!!!
spirit4ever is offline  
#10 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 02:24 PM
MJB
 
MJB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 1,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No. Usually my husband is up before them, though. He's out of town right now, and I'm sick, so I woke my 7 yr. old up for school at 8 (actually, I woke his light-sleeping little brother up who then harassed him into wakefulness), reminded him to brush his teeth, pack his snack, and wear a raincoat, and went back to sleep until 10:30. My 4 yr. old ate breakfast with his brother then played on the computer until he came in at 10:30 to snuggle.
I'd rather my kids have a rested, happy, fun mom the rest of the time than to have me awake before them. I don't even see why that'd be something to strive for. And when the new baby is born this summer, I imagine she and I will be in bed nursing until after both boys have left for school.
MJB is offline  
#11 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 02:25 PM
 
JayGee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Southwest Illinois
Posts: 4,545
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm up before my kids, but I am a morning person and wake up naturally around 6:30am (even on weekends, when I actually wish I could sleep later ). If it's not you, don't force it.

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
JayGee is offline  
#12 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 04:26 PM
 
4Marmalade's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,084
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The idea is a nice one but I am not about to wake up at 4:30am to be up before my kids. They wake up around 5-5:30am each day.

Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)

4Marmalade is offline  
#13 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 08:32 PM
 
jtbuko's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: front porch swing
Posts: 1,066
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH doesn't have to work til 9 and the kids are in PM school so we all wake when we wake. Usually the kids wake first and come right in to our room for a snuggle, but lately they have been enjoying playing together for a while first.

Next year DS will have a full day at school. I plan to be up before him then so I can be "on" to get him out the door.

mom to a 7 year old lego fanatic and a 5 year old cross dresser
jtbuko is offline  
#14 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 10:42 PM
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 3,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My son is an early riser so I only get up before him to have a few moments to myself. Certainly not to be chipper and make pancakes.

Give yourself a break. Listen to your body. Your dd is probably better off for it the rest of the day having a well-rested Mama.

(Besides, you should see what passes for family dinnertime around here. We can't all do things perfectly all the time. Body rythms and work schedules get in the way).
Hoopin' Mama is offline  
#15 of 26 Old 03-23-2010, 11:17 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Lost in a good book (in San Diego)
Posts: 4,819
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No way, DD wakes by 6am, and has often done 5:30 (or 4:30, like much of the past few months, blerg!) We moved her bedtime back so she is better about lasting until 6 but she can't go later than that, if you keep her up later, she just wakes up earlier. I know I need to sleep when she does, esp b/c I can't nap when she does as I teach in the afternoons. I would love to wake and walk and shower and all that... someday maybe. For now, I hope for the day when we can do all that fun morning stuff together, w/o it having to be about helping her into her pants
St. Margaret is offline  
#16 of 26 Old 03-24-2010, 12:59 AM
 
Peony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 25,341
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Well, it 3 kids, someone is almost always awake before me. I don't sleep in, I am up by 6:30 most days, sleeping in is till 7. It would be nice to sleep in more, but it never happens. I need to get up early on the weekdays to get DD1 out the door for school. On the weekend it never fails, that the baby who will sleep in till 8 most week day mornings, will get up really early.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
Peony is offline  
#17 of 26 Old 03-24-2010, 12:24 PM
 
One_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,734
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)
My dd is usually up before me and trying to wake me up unless I have set the alarm clock to get up early. She thinks it is funny and I am fine with it. She is a morning person and just hops right out of bed happy to go about her day. I am not really awake until after my first cup of coffee, especially if I don't have enough sleep.
One_Girl is online now  
#18 of 26 Old 03-24-2010, 02:10 PM
 
Autumn Breeze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: with the Geek in the Pink
Posts: 15,077
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No. And I want to be one of those moms too!! I want to get up before them. Even if it's only long enough to start the coffee. Ideally I could have a cup of coffee, and start cooking something for breakfast.

But my 4 yo is up usually an hour before I'm ready to be. She wakes up the 8 yo after about a half hour then they'll play together. Before the 4 yo came along, my older, and then only would occupy himself in his room for a good half hour before letting me know that he was ready to start his day.

I am not, and have never been an early riser. Like a PP said, I was always getting up when I needed to be leaving in 10 minutes.

4 minute power showers, and dressing while still damp and running out the door with a coke, poptarts and wet hair. Yep. that's me. Even when I DO set an alarm and get up, I'm still running out the door with wet hair. I'm just NOT a morning person!!

My son has to take a state test in a month at 8 am. I am DREADING it! I'm gong to have to get up at freaking 6 am just to manage to leave the house on time!!! I know the kids will just spring into action though, "wake up breakfast is on the table.." and they go. They rock. I'm the lazy bum that didn't get out of bed until 11:00 today!!

Though I blame it on anestisa and drugs from having my wisdom teeth out on Friday It's times like this that I am thankful that I AM the way I am, otherwise my children would be very confused. They came to ask me this morning around 8:45 if they could have a bowl of dry cereal and if my oldest could pour cups of milk. "yes, of course, you can! thank you very much dude "

I hated waking up and seeing what time it was, but I am glad they were able to get themselves something to eat. Now I'm off to make a delicious, nutritious hot lunch for them because I even though they ate Mommy Guilt is telling me to make them lunch

~Autumn~   Mama to whistling.gif (2001) and hearts.gif(2005) partners.gif madly in love since '99 
Autumn Breeze is offline  
#19 of 26 Old 03-24-2010, 02:55 PM
 
Sydnee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,464
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, I am always up before my kids. I love to get up early (5:30-6:00 ish) and do my daily devotional and have a couple cups of coffee before I get the kids up for school.

Busy Mama to three beautiful girls and loving wife to my hubby
Sydnee is offline  
#20 of 26 Old 03-24-2010, 04:12 PM
 
Meems's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i *wish* i got up before DD, but it's rare. she's usually up by 7am and it's hard for me to get up even then!
Meems is offline  
#21 of 26 Old 03-26-2010, 03:51 AM
 
KMK_Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 2,270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nope. I drag myself out of bed around 9. The kids are usually up about 1/2-1 hour before me and by the time I get up, they've already had breakfast. I started doing this after my oldest DD asked if she could start making breakfast by herself....so they eat and watch cartoons. I'm usually not completely asleep though. I hear the TV turn on, I hear them playing, and screaming, and sometimes fighting.

: Robyn : Increasingly crunchy Mama to Kya (8) , Makena (7) , and Keegan (4) :
KMK_Mama is offline  
#22 of 26 Old 03-26-2010, 11:53 AM
 
Jessy1019's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Flemington, NJ
Posts: 3,514
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My kids are REALLY early risers (6:30 is normal for them every day of the week), and no, I don't get up before they do. I think if I even tried to do that, they would just start waking up even earlier.

They can get themselves snacks, watch a little tv, play with their toys, etc . . . I usually get up at 7am, which is enough time to get my daughter ready for school and get us out the door.

I don't have a problem getting up earlier, it just seems unnecessary.

Proud Anti-Adoption, Atheist, Reproductive-Freedom Fighter Mama
Rylie is 7, Ronin is 3.5
Jessy1019 is offline  
#23 of 26 Old 03-27-2010, 12:02 AM
 
snoopy5386's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
heck no! I am a night owl and love my sleep. Most mornings my DD wakes up, wakes me up and I get up long enough to get her breakfast and turn on a tv show. Then I go back to bed for a bit until she comes and bugs me again.

Mom to Morgan 4-3-06 and announcing Baby Kelsey 4-11-10
snoopy5386 is offline  
#24 of 26 Old 03-27-2010, 01:08 AM
 
journeymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Having a Gilly Water with McGonagall
Posts: 9,804
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoulCakes View Post
My daughter wakes up every morning at 8am. On school days I'm up by 7:30am, but otherwise I'm still asleep when she crawls in bed with us and wants breakfast. She can make her own toast and help herself to yogurt and fruit from the kitchen, so usually I beg off for a while and get an additional half hour of sleep (sometimes longer!).

But this bugs me... my parents were ALWAYS awake before I was growing up! It's weird to me that my daughter is growing up with a "sleeping mommy" who doesn't want to leap out of bed first thing in the morning. I'm heavily dependent on sleep, too - if I don't get eight hours, I can barely get out from under the covers! My daughter doesn't like it, either.

Is this normal? Since I was a late riser even as a child, I'm conditioned to think that in normal families the parents are up before the kids. I have all these great memories of waking up to the smell of coffee and pancakes cooking, and my parents (chipperly) sitting around the breakfast table. I WANT THAT... but it just seems to conflict with my biology.

So... do you get up before your kids, and do you think it's important? Is my child going to be scarred for life because I sleep in? And does anyone have any helpful tips for transforming yourself into a morning person?

Thanks!
Wow, I really identify with this scenario. Except one big difference: my mom was addicted to cigarettes and was up at the crack of dawn most mornings so she could get her first fix. She and my dad drank pots and pots of coffee. The interesting thing was that once they retired, Dad started sleeping in a bit, but Mom did not.

Mostly I don't worry about my sleeping later than my kids, but sometimes I do. Well, only the 11 y.o. gets up early on weekends. The 15 y.o. would sleep past noon if we let her.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
journeymom is offline  
#25 of 26 Old 03-27-2010, 01:05 PM
 
annethcz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: on the beautiful prairie of MN
Posts: 9,947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nope, I'm often the last one up

The good thing about having older kids is that it's OKAY if they get up before I do. They're capable of getting their own breakfast and entertaining themselves until I get up. My 10yo has ALWAYS been an early riser (even as a baby/toddler). He regularly gets up between 5-6am. I think it's CRAZY, but he really enjoys the solitude and having the house to himself for an hour or two.

New signature, same old me: Ann- mama of 2 boys and 2 girls, partnered to a fabulous man.
I'm an unintentional weasel feeder and I suck at proofreading.
annethcz is offline  
#26 of 26 Old 03-29-2010, 06:24 AM
 
bobandjess99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Northern IN
Posts: 5,912
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is raucous laughter as a reponse against the UA ?????

CPST
bobandjess99 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off