Trouble with neighbor kid - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 03-31-2010, 02:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Across our back lane lives a little boy who is a year older than my oldest dd. For the last couple of years, they've played together occasionally. On one hand, it's nice for my dd to have somebody close to her age to play with, but this kid is HYPER and has been destructive of our property on several different occasions. I usually try to make them stay outside to play because of this. He even comes over if we're not home and plays in our yard, which I am not comfortable with. I feel bad for him - he comes from a rough background and just hasn't been taught right from wrong or boundaries. He also has a 1 yr old sister who he dragged over the other day, and the mother never once came to check on her

Well it's Spring Break, and this kid has been over here every day. I wouldn't mind so much, but things are getting wrecked again. He was standing/jumping on our deck railing and one of the vertical rails came out.... Just things that SHOULD NOT GET BROKEN, unless you're going out of your way to break them!

I have a two year old dd as well, and am pregnant and due at the end of April. I'm just stressing out imagining what this summer will be like. My back yard will not be a sanctuary of peace and quiet, but rather a neighborhood playground and drop-off daycare centre. I want to get some summer things for the yard (kiddy pool, stuff like that,) but am afraid to because I know it'll just get destroyed. I also want to be able to take my younger two outside without fear of them getting hurt, or having to listen to the screaming and yelling seven-year-old banshee boy.

I've asked this kid on numerous occasions to not play in the yard when we're not here. I'm simply not comfortable with it. DD has also told him this, but it keeps happening (and often we come home to broken toys.)

I don't mind if the kids play together sometimes, but I don't want to have to pack them up and take off to parks all summer just for a break from my own back yard, you know?

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#2 of 6 Old 03-31-2010, 05:15 PM
 
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Do you have a fenced backyard? If not, could you put up a fence? Have you ever spoken to the boy's parents? The broken toys and property are completely unacceptable -- I don't mind if a few things break here and there in the course of normal play, but I would be very unhappy with what you're describing.

Maybe you could keep a heavy eye on him when he's over, and the second he starts being too rough with your stuff, send him home and tell him why. If you're consistent with that, and with telling him that your yard is off limits when you're not home (and maybe start not leaving any toys outside when you're gone?), he should get the message.

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#3 of 6 Old 03-31-2010, 05:31 PM
 
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Take the boy and escort him back home each and every time you do not want him in your yard.

Then, get a flag or something that you can put out on your back deck. Tell him that when the flag is out, he can come play, but if it's not, he has to stay in his yard. If he's in your yard and the flag is not out, take him home. Walk over to his parents and tell them the rules too.

If he starts to do something unacceptable, tell him to what he can do. If he persists, take him home. Bring your toys in with you, or get a locked storage to put them in. (If he breaks that open, call the cops.)

finally, I agree: Fence the yard.

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#4 of 6 Old 04-01-2010, 10:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for the input... You had some good ideas.

Unfortunately, this isn't going to even be an issue any more. The kid is not welcome on our property from this day forward.

Upon arriving home yesterday evening after taking my kids for a walk, I discovered that Neighbor Kid had destroyed two of our little apple trees that we planted a couple of years ago. One of the trees has absolutely no branches left, and the other one is missing many branches and has branches broken all over the place. I know that he did this to our trees with this stupid hockey stick that he's always swinging around and hitting things with outside.

I was SO p!$$%^ when I discovered this so I marched over to his house and knocked on the door. Of course, nobody answered

I'm DONE.

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#5 of 6 Old 04-01-2010, 11:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alternamama82 View Post
Thank you for the input... You had some good ideas.

Unfortunately, this isn't going to even be an issue any more. The kid is not welcome on our property from this day forward.

Upon arriving home yesterday evening after taking my kids for a walk, I discovered that Neighbor Kid had destroyed two of our little apple trees that we planted a couple of years ago. One of the trees has absolutely no branches left, and the other one is missing many branches and has branches broken all over the place. I know that he did this to our trees with this stupid hockey stick that he's always swinging around and hitting things with outside.

I was SO p!$$%^ when I discovered this so I marched over to his house and knocked on the door. Of course, nobody answered

I'm DONE.
Wow, that's terrible! I'm so sorry about your trees. Once you confirm that he did it, I think you're totally within your rights to not have him back. How will you enforce it when you're not home though? I mean, you can lock up toys, but you can't very well lock up your trees and other permanent property, you know? What a mess -- I'm sorry you're dealing with this!

ETA: I would also be talking to his parents about how they're going to replace your apple trees.

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#6 of 6 Old 04-01-2010, 10:39 PM
 
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Wow. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. keep trying to talk to the boy's mama or papa. State clearly that the kid is no longer welcome in your yard. Ever. Ask they set up a payment plan to replace the trees.
Then stick with it.
Good luck and hugs
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