sibling respect when having playdates/sleepovers - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 04-06-2010, 01:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
Music-mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Canadian rainforest
Posts: 1,604
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am finding it a difficult balance when we have playdates or sleepovers with my older dd who is 8, and my younger dd who is 4. Usually my older daughter is nice to her sister, but when friends come over she can often be disrespectful to her sister.

I understand that at times she needs time alone with her friend and shouldn't be required to be "nice" and play with her little sister all the time, but today she is being utterly rude and giving rolling eyes to her sis every time she approaches.

I have taken her aside and told her that it is her job to be kind to her sister and show her friends that she loves and respects her sister, so that they will do the same but she seems to think this is unfair.

Help?!
Music-mommy is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 04-06-2010, 02:12 PM
 
spirit4ever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 1,222
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah its hard, I don't think I have any good advice, I'm not really there yet...

But I do think that the older sister should still be respectful of the younger one..

Hopefully you'll get some better replies, I'll be reading them myself!!!

Mom to Ds1 (8 1/2) Ds2 (6) Dd (2 1/2)!!!!
spirit4ever is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 04-06-2010, 06:05 PM
 
sunnmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: surrounded by love
Posts: 6,447
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What helps my 9 yo dd and 3 yo ds is to have defined times to "include your brother" and have "time alone with your friend". Usually when a friend comes over, I ask them to play with ds for the first 20-30 minutes because he is SO excited that the friend is over. After the agreed upon time, I get ds and do something fun just with him. He isn't always ready to leave their play, but I insist it is their time alone (unless they want him to stay, which they sometimes do). I can distract him easily enough once he's out of the room.

When it comes to general respect, I always insist on them being respectful and am straightforward about it if they are not. If she were being nasty/rolling her eyes at ds just for walking by, I'd explain my expectation and be prepared to end the playdate if the behavior continued. I wouldn't tolerate that at all. If they need protected time alone, I am willing to provide it (as explained above), but I will not allow them to choose to be in the same space as ds and be nasty to him.
sunnmama is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 04-08-2010, 12:18 PM
 
marieangela's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,479
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am interested in hearing some replies. I have a 7 year old and a 4 1/2 year old and friend issues. My younger son plays at the playground with my older son and his friends every day after school. Only once have I taken my older son to one of his friends houses for a playdate and it was a fiasco. My younger son always wants to be a part of what the older one is doing. My older son used to make up games with his friends where his little brother was the bad guy or the one that they chased and I've had many conversations with them about being brothers and standing up for each other.

Marie-Mom to two boys and a girl.
marieangela is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off