6 year old "behavior" issues at school...advice needed - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 3 Old 05-07-2010, 12:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 6 yr old DS doing wonderful acedemically but the last few weeks has been flipping color cards (public school behavior tracking) in most of his classes. Mostly for running in the hall, not listening to the teacher, talking while teacher is instructing, and in general just not following school rules (as simple as walking on steps he isn't supposed to). We have cancelled a sleepover, taken away TV, skipped a fun activity we had planned etc. The teacher told me yesterday that he is just more worried about everyone else around him and not himself (he is this way at home as well). She has moved him all around the class trying to eliminate the issue and joking said as a last resort to have him sit by himself. I discussed this with him and he thought he was a good idea. However the sadness in his eyes and that fact that he said he was soooo mad at himself broke my heart. I feel like I'm being to harsh, DH does not and feels that I'm not being strict enough. I'm just not sure how to get through to him that not following the rules is wrong. I want him to focus better and I'm not sure how. I know if I talk to his ped. I'll get the ADD speech (DH was diagnosed as a child and is adamantly opposed to medication - as am I). I chalk it up to he's being a boy but at the same time he has to follow the rules. His whole day goe bad when he brings home the wrong color in his planner and I want to change that. I have bad days and don't have a stupid color to live by and I don't want him to either.
Sorry this is so long and I thank you for any advice.
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#2 of 3 Old 05-07-2010, 12:18 PM
 
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Cut him a little break. It's the end of the school year. Most kids check out several weeks before school ends.

At the same time, the teachers are also tired and looking forward to the end of the year. So, they don't have the same tolerance level that they had at the beginnig. Especially since they know he KNOWS the rules.

In our area, there's only three weeks of school left. (or two... I forget) So, I just tell my daughter "Just get through this week, it's almost summer". But, she's almost 18 years old, so it's easier.

I wouldn't take privelages away that have nothing to do with the actual crime. Perhaps you can set up something else instead?? Even if it's to add chores (which I know also have nothing to do with the crime either) But, if he gets a red card, maybe he could vacum the stairs, or clean the yard alone, or something tedious that he won't HATE, but he won't love either. Then, discuss it with him in advance, and set something up. If he does a good job at his chore, he'll also feel good about himself too.

I joined a fitness/weight loss challenge. We had to come up with a charity we'd like to donate to. I got three jars. Filled one with 52 marbles. Two were empty. Every day that I exercize, I put one marble in the charity jar. Every day that I don't, I put one marble in the other jar. At the end of the challenge, I have to give one dollar for every marble in the other jar to my teenager. Obviously, I don't want to do that. SHe keeps coming in here, looking in her jar and snickering. LOL So, I work really hard to keep from giving her my money.

Maybe you and your son could set something like that up for him. Put out three jars, put marbles for all the remaining school days in them. Each time he pulls a red card, he puts a marble in a jar for someone or something else. But, every time he stays on green, or even yellow, he can have a marble in his jar. Then, on the last day of school, maybe he can have money, or junk food or some kind of reward that equals his marbles in his jar. But, for every marble in the other jar someone else gets that reward instead.

Just throwing ideas out there for you.
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#3 of 3 Old 05-07-2010, 12:26 PM
 
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Did this just start recently or has he always had trouble not talking at school?

If he is doing really well with the school work, he may just be bored. My son acts out alot more if he isn't challenged. Beyond that, I agree with the pp. It's almost the end of the year, I think everyone's getting a little crazy. My 8 year old is definitely ansty to get out of school and I can't wait for him to either.
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