What's your rules? (re playdates and movies) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 03:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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5 YO DS just came and asked me if he can go watch "Avatar" with the neighbor kid--NK is maybe 6? (I think he said he was 6 or just about last fall...they haven't played together for awhile. long cold winter.)

I told him no for today because I don't really know the mom and I knew nothing about the movie other than the kids got some cool light-up toys from McD's when we were on a road trip last summer, that were Avatar creatures. (I *think* maybe I've talked to this mom briefly a couple times outside...if I've got the right neighbor in mind. I'd, um, like to at least verify that before my kid goes inside the house?)

I googled the movie and it's PG-13, which seems a little "old" to me for him.

just a random post to see what other people's rules are and see if I'm "in-line" I'm sure this will be only the first of many requests as he'll be in kindy next year.

(to give you an idea of what my kid "typically" does, I don't think he's ever seen a movie rated above PG *maybe*--he used to love the stuart little movies, they *might* be PG, if they're not then he's not really watched anything over a "G'
And the only playdates he's had inside anyone's house without me there have been with people we've known all our lives or our two next door neighbors who we'd gotten to know pretty well while our kids played outside and we talked.)

I don't want to be the "super-strict" mom, but I don't want him seeing stuff way too "old" for him either. (and I think this kid just from a couple things I've heard him say, sees things "older" than I have let DS see...)

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#2 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 03:27 PM
 
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When dd is at a friends house I leave it to the parents to make the rules and guidelines for the most part. I did ask one family to send her home if they were going to watch Simpsons because she found it very scary (and she didn't make it to the itchy and scatchy show part).
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#3 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 03:31 PM
 
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Well I don't think my kid has ever watched a movie away from home except at daycare or school and those were along the Charlotte's Web lines.

When kids come to our house, I tend to not let them watch movies like that just in case the parents don't like it. Most of our friends do the same. Having said that, my 8 year old has watched Avatar but I don't know that I'd let a 6 year old watch it, totally depends on the kid.
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#4 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 04:12 PM
 
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I won't let my 7 year old see Avatar until he's maybe 10.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to know the parents better before allowing your child to have playdates where you're not present. And, while getting to know the parents, you can share the rules that you have for your child, such as what movies he can watch, video games he can play, distance he can roam from an adult, etc.

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#5 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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I have a 6yo. I have also seen Avatar. I would not let my 6yo watch Avatar. It is pretty violent.
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#6 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 05:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lotusdebi View Post
I won't let my 7 year old see Avatar until he's maybe 10.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to know the parents better before allowing your child to have playdates where you're not present. And, while getting to know the parents, you can share the rules that you have for your child, such as what movies he can watch, video games he can play, distance he can roam from an adult, etc.

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#7 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 06:45 PM
 
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Are you sure they mean the movie and not the TV show?

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#8 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 06:48 PM
 
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Not to mention Avatar is 3 hours my 5yo would not sit that!
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#9 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 06:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by staceychev View Post
Are you sure they mean the movie and not the TV show?
:
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#10 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 07:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I didn't know there was a show, but I am pretty sure when he came and asked, he said "movie"...

my mom verified he *was* asking about the neighbor I thought it was...which I probably would have been OK with him going, but not with the movie. My mom talked to her this afternoon, she said her kid only watched like 10 mins. of it too. (that's what I think my kid would do, realize it's not a cartoon and leave...but *still.*)

This is more of a "Are my rules in line with most people's?" This is my oldest. I know probably some 5 yo with older siblings might see "older" shows than my kid has...there's just no interest from the kids in this stuff yet in my house.
I don't want to parent "overly strict" because I don't realize that everybody else really is allowed more...(unless it comes to the safety stuff, like the kids who ride bikes in the parking lot here, I won't allow DS to even though everybody except ONE of his friends does it.)

sounds like i'm pretty much in line here though.

lovin DH since 1/04, SAHM to 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#11 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 07:32 PM
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Well, my 4 yr. old saw Avatar at the theater, loved it, and has seen several other PG-13 movies (Star Wars, etc). But when my boys (7 and 4) have friends over, I never let them watch anything over PG because I don't know other parents' rules about movies. I know most of my 4 yr. old's (will be in K this fall) friends are not allowed to see PG-13 and that many of my 7 yr. old's friends aren't either.
To me, PG-13 means just that: parental guidance under 13. We make decisions about PG-13 movies on a case-by-case basis and watch them with our kids.
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#12 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 07:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That was part of it too. It is rated PG13, and I have not seen the movie. I can't say I'd feel any certain way about any movie based solely on its rating but it is recommending "parental guidance" under 13 which I think at least means i'd want to see it first. the previews I'd seen led me to think it was probably not even something he'd be inclined to watch anyway. (he is still a very nick-jr. cartoon kind of kid when it comes to TV and movies.)

lovin DH since 1/04, SAHM to 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#13 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 07:55 PM
 
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I wouldn't be comfortable with my 5yo watching a violent movie like that.

This doesn't really come up for us. When my kids play at friends' houses, they don't watch movies. And it would be very unusual for it to happen without a parent checking in first. It's not being a "super strict mom" to say no to movies you consider to old for your kid, or to say no to movies during playdates.
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#14 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 08:12 PM
 
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Well, I just wanted to pop in and say my son (3.5y) has seen it twice and really likes it. Hubby and I saw it at the theatre and it has amazing imagery. I am sure the creatures, and world is what draws him in.
As far as seeing it at friends...well he doesn't do that yet but were he at an age to do so I think I would allow it.

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#15 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 08:39 PM
 
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This post has really made me think. We've only had a couple parent-less play dates, but those were with someone we know well. I guess I had never even thought about them watching TV. The whole point right now is to play-toys you do not have . I'm not really worried about anybody we currently know as they know that K does have nightmares so we have to be careful what he watches. He's seen Star Wars, Transformers-but all with DH who fast forwards through all questionable/scary parts. So he has never just sat down and watched them through. We never know what might set him off come bedtime.

Well now I know that if once K starts school he goes to a play date that I should mention either no TV at all-still think this is best-or that we need to be careful/check with me before watching something.

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#16 of 18 Old 05-25-2010, 09:22 PM
 
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For me, there is no tv time during a play date. I want them to play. My kids get 1-1.5 hrs of PBS during our "rest time". There is mo scren time to be had beyond that. No matter the content.
And fwiw, IMHO, little kids are shown way too grown up stuff way too early these days. I'd say no way to avatar.

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#17 of 18 Old 05-26-2010, 12:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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that's how I feel too phoebe like kids see way too 'grown up' shows....I figured in this case, i would not be the only one not letting my kid see that movie in particular.

I'm also looking for input on movies/shows in general, and playdate rules--who you allow all that kind of stuff, to get a feel for what other people with kids about his age are doing and allowing...

lovin DH since 1/04, SAHM to 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#18 of 18 Old 05-26-2010, 02:01 AM
 
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Um, I definitely would NOT let my pre-kindy child see Avatar. My son is finishing first grade and is not allowed to see it. Also, I probably would not let my son go to any movie theatre with someone we do not know well or to any movie that I do not know much about. Seriously, I wonder about movie content and ratings these days..

In regards to play dates and movies, the ONLY time this has come up is when my son has a friend sleepover. On those nights I check with his friend's mother first to see if she is OK with the movie. IF kids are over and it's pouring rain and they just want to watch a little something I'll put on something G rated.
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