Can your 9 year old...? (Self care questions) - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: which of the following self care tasks can your 9 year old do?
Wash their own hair 92 100.00%
Clip their own nails 59 100.00%
Tie their shoes 88 100.00%
Make a sandwich (peanut butter or presliced meat) 94 100.00%
Heat up a can of soup 54 100.00%
Make their own lunch for school 60 100.00%
Dish up their own ice cream 79 100.00%
Make their own bed 83 100.00%
Put on and buckle their own belt 85 100.00%
Button or snap jeans 97 100.00%
Put on their watch 70 100.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 11. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 08:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm just curious about these self care issues for a 9 year old. I need to know how hard to push ds this summer when we have more time....

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#2 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 08:21 PM
 
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Are you making a poll?
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#3 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 08:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yep, the poll is there now, it just takes a few minutes!

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#4 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 08:23 PM
 
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hummm Lets see...My DS is 9 and can...

1. Brush Teeth on his own with reminding (You think they would remember these things)
2. Shower alone
3. Dress Self and choose his own clothes but still ask if they look ok and match
3. Tye own shoes

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#5 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 08:25 PM
 
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Ok Duh...I guess I was too fast. I did the Poll as well.

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#6 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 09:11 PM
 
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I think a 9 year old should be able to do all of that, but I'm trying to remember what my daughter could do when she was 9. She's only made her own lunch once or twice, and I think that was in the past year--she just turned 11 this month.

She can tie her own shoes now, but she still can't dish her own ice cream. At least she asks me to do it, when we have ice cream. I still make her lunch for her. She recently was able to heat up a can of soup.

She doesn't wear a watch nor do we make beds in this house, but she can buckle her own belt. Maybe I'll just go vote in the poll.
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#7 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 09:14 PM
 
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sorry... i voted for my 5 yo dd.

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#8 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 09:16 PM
 
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DD can do everything on the list. Most of them she has been doing for a few years now.

 
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#9 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 09:18 PM
 
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I answered yes on all of those for my almost nine yo, for my almost 7yo, he can do everything but heat up soup. He makes his own sandwiches for lunch though.

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#10 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 09:25 PM
 
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Both my 9 and 7 y.o. daughters can do all of those things, however my younger dd might not be doing them all if she weren't following the example of my oldest. My oldest is very driven to do things herself, my younger dd likes to be taken care of.
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#11 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 09:33 PM
 
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My 9 year old can do all of those things except tie shoes, and I didn't vote on the belt because I don't know if he can or not - he doesn't wear belts. He also doesn't clip his nails, but I'm pretty sure he can. He can wash his own hair, but getting him to do it is kind of a nightmare, so usually I call it a victory when I actually get him in the shower and it gets all wet. He can also comb his own hair - but same story with that. He says he wants a buzz cut, so hopefully that issue will be solved soon.
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#12 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 10:21 PM
 
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Well, she never had a watch, and I don't know if she could have put one on.

But, I said yes, to every one of those things. Because Yes, she COULD do them.. but, would and could are two different things. She is quite capable of making her own lunch..... but, she's too lazy to get out of bed with enough time to do that.
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#13 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 10:27 PM
 
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My dd is seven and she can do almost all of that except clipping her nails and heating up soup.
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#14 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 10:36 PM
 
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Mine's only 8 but he can do all of that except clip his own nails and heating up soup. But we've never let him clip his own nails I guess so I honestly don't know if he could. As for the soup, same thing, it's never come up. He does really well in the kitchen so I'm sure he could if he needed to.
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#15 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 11:19 PM
 
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I voted for my 8 1/2 yo. He is a little sensory averse so mostly no on the handling food. He'd probably be ok making a deli sandwich but not spreading PB. He doesn't like touching messy food. I think scooping ice cream might happen in another year. He'd rather not due to the sticky factor. He doesn't eat soup. He can work the microwave but he's never opened a can of soup and poured it into a bowl. He'll put pasta into boiling water but I'll drain it. He'll put away the flatware and rinse spots that get on clothes he likes (not that you asked but I don't want to shortchange him, lol). He can't tie his shoes. I think all his pants are pull on but he can do snaps and buttons if he needs to and the pants aren't getting too tight. He just started reliably getting dressed completely on his own, including velcro shoes, this winter. I'm sure he could make a bed if he wanted to. It might not look great. He can probably manage to put on a watch at this point but I can see him asking me to do it if I'm around. He doesn't like getting his head wet and he doesn't wash his own hair. But he has clipped his nails for years. That is one of the few self care things he is interested in doing.

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#16 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 11:27 PM
 
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My oldest will be 9 in Sept and can do all of the mentioned tasks, but I did not check heat up soup or scoop ice cream. These two foods aren't often served in our house and I still plate all her food for her. I'm sure she could do it herself but I just do it for her.

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#17 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 11:34 PM
 
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My 9 yr old can do all of the above, and has for some time now. Well, the soup doesn't exactly apply, but a couple times she has used the electric can opener and warmed up pinto beans in the microwave - so I checked it. I think part of why she is so independent is that she is the oldest of 4 - so it's usually faster to just do things herself then wait for help.

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#18 of 44 Old 05-31-2010, 11:45 PM
 
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Mine has been doing all of that for a few years. She's also capable of staying home alone for a while, goes to school and back without an adult. She's awesome!
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#19 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 12:04 AM
 
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my ds will be 9 on saturday he can do all these things except the real fine motor stuff... clipping his own nails, tying shoes and putting on a watch. he's been making his own sandwiches for at least 2 or 3 years. (heck, my 5yo makes his own pb&j's! mostly cuz he's too impatient to wait for me to get to it ) my 9yo has aspergers, tho, so i'm pretty pleased that he can do all this stuff. he'll get the rest of it in time, i'm sure.

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#20 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 12:06 AM
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I checked everything except for "make own lunch for school," "buckle a belt," and "put on a watch." My kids, at the age of 9, had never had to pack a lunch for school....and they aren't in the habits of belts or watches. So, I'm not sure if they could do those things.
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#21 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 12:20 AM
 
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I answered that my 9 yo ds can do all but lunch for school, heating soup and clip toenails. Mostly because I haven't given him the opportunity to do those things.. but will be doing so this summer.

FTR, 6 (almost 7) yo dd can do all of the same as ds and has fixed her own lunch for school. She is much more interested in self care and being independent.

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#22 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 01:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK, so it looks like we're going to have self-care boot camp for ds this summer!

The only thing on the list that he can do is tie is shoes. And that he learned in the last month. He does have a fine motor delay and some sensory issues, and one of his love languages is 'acts of service', but I really think it's time for him to start doing some more self-care.

If he can't do these things, then I think it's time to go back to occupational therapy.

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#23 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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I answered for my 10 year, as he hasn't been 10 for all that long and I answered for when he was 9. The only two I didn't check was opening a can of soup and heating it up, and making his lunch for school. But it isn't that he couldn't do these things, just doesn't do them. He doesn't like soup and I always make his school lunch before he gets up, but I would think he would be quite capable to doing both if motivated.

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#24 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 02:30 PM
 
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Both my 7 YO and 10 YO can do all of these things.

Of course, there is a difference between "can" and "will" LOL. And some are things that we don't do very often in the house (like make beds -- I can make mine, but I generally don't...). I still make their lunches for school because I also have to make DH's and mine and its just simplier to have one person doing all 4 than having each person make their own.

The 10 YO is actually a pretty good cook, so he has actually made dinner for us on occassion -- well beyond microwaving soup.

Belts and tie shoes are part of their school uniforms so they have had to do that since they were 5 and DS can tie his own tie even. DD ties a square knot on her uniform dress.

I've found that they amaze me as soon as I stand back and actually give them the chance to do these things. DS even had the presence of mind to call 911 last month when DD got hit by a car as they were scootering around the neighborhood. I was so proud of him!
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#25 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 02:39 PM
 
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My 7 year old does all those. But YMMV, of course!

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#26 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 02:43 PM
 
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DS is 8.75 (as of yesterday ) and *can* do all of those things. He usually buys school lunch this year but he does pack his own snack (he often eats three snacks in a day, lol, so that is almost a lunch).

 

 

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#27 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 03:20 PM
 
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The only one I didn't check was "heat up a can of soup", because I can't clearly remember. They had been cooking with me since they were toddlers, so I suspect they could manage it. I'm not sure whether they ever did though.

For sure they could dress themselves, make snacks and sandwiches, and make their beds (not that they ever did the last one spontaneously and voluntarily, lol!).
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#28 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 03:25 PM
 
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My just turned 10 yo can do all but dish up ice cream, she may be able to, (probably can) but we never have it in the house so I don't know for sure. She has been able to do these things for over a yr.

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#29 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 05:34 PM
 
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My 9 yo probably can do all of the above.

However, she doesn't own a watch and since she asks me to put bracelets on for her, I did not check that one.

Also, we own a hand/manual can opener and I don't think I've ever given her the chance to open a can. We don't eat canned food very often. She can only open glass jars with plastic screw-top lids, so if my homemade soup was in one of those, she could heat it up in the microwave. We generally cook on the gas stove and she has never turned a burner on. She knows how to work the microwave and toaster oven, though. I didn't check the soup one, but now I am curious if she can.

Lastly, I did not check the clip nails one. She probably has the motor skills to do it, but I do it for both of us every two weeks like clockwork. Can and will are viable considerations on this one. Even when I teach her to do it herself, I wonder if she WILL. She tends to pick her nails.

ETA: DD is home from school now, so I asked her all of the above questions. I got it all right except she does know how to put on a watch, which is generally easier than a bracelet. Also, she removes old nail polish herself and applies new polish herself (outside for both). We're about to find out if she can clip her own nails because two broke at school today and she wants to even them out...... Okay, I'm back. She was able to clip the fingernails on her left hand with a little verbal guidance. The thumbnails were too thick for her to do solo. She will need to practice more to do her right hand. She didn't try toenails today. I foresee her being able to clip her own nails 100% by the end of summer easily.

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#30 of 44 Old 06-01-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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I checked yes to all but "heat up a can of soup", "make lunch for school", and "make the bed".
We never have canned soup, so I don't know if he can. I don't think he can use a can opener - I can't use a manual one (it's a left-handed thing, I think) and our electric one is half-broken and tempermental. He's homeschooled, so there's no need to make lunch for school, but he can make his own sandwich so, . His bed is a loft bed, and *I* can barely make it. What a PITA.

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