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#1 of 21 Old 06-06-2010, 11:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm thinking about dying my son's hair. He's 4 and he looks like every other 4 year old boy around here-- white-blond hair in a buzzcut. It's hard to keep track of him on the playground, and so I had the idea of dying his hair a fun color-- green, maybe? He's ok with the idea.

What are the downsides to doing this? If I go ahead, what would be the best method-- koolaid? Something else?
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#2 of 21 Old 06-06-2010, 11:13 PM
 
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I'm thinking about dying my son's hair. He's 4 and he looks like every other 4 year old boy around here-- white-blond hair in a buzzcut. It's hard to keep track of him on the playground, and so I had the idea of dying his hair a fun color-- green, maybe? He's ok with the idea.

What are the downsides to doing this? If I go ahead, what would be the best method-- koolaid? Something else?
Does he go to school? They might not care for that. I would say, if you decide to do it, make sure you and he are both ready for the possible negative attention you might get.

I would let me brown-haired son highlight his hair with some lemon juice if he wanted to, but I'm not sure about the green... In the end it's your choice though. Could you maybe just put him in a brightly colored shirt instead?

Kat, wife to and mommy to (Dec 07).
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#3 of 21 Old 06-06-2010, 11:51 PM
 
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would do it. I used to dye my hair all kinds of crazy colours, yes even green (really bright lime green)! It was fun and it's just hair!

I'm not sure if kool-aid would work or how long it would last. When I used to dye my hair I used Manic Panic but I am not sure if it is still available or how safe it is.

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#4 of 21 Old 06-06-2010, 11:54 PM
 
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I live in a very conservative area and I see a lot of little kids with funky hair colors and mohawks in the summer time. If it's super short anyway, you can probably pick a fun color and just buzz it off when he's tired of it because nothing ever totally fades from white-blond hair.
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#5 of 21 Old 06-06-2010, 11:59 PM
 
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we used kool aid as kids, and it was a fun temporary dye, usually lasted a few days to a week... as a teen, i used manic panic or punky color... i personally wouldnt dye my preschoolers hair,but if i would, id use kool aid since its so temporary

*~*Ashley*~* newly single mama to Tristan 10/01/2007
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#6 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 12:43 AM
 
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Does your child actually want this? or is he just going along with it because you want it?

Honestly, I find it a bit odd that you would consider dying his hair so you can find him on the playground. How about a brightly colored shirt instead?
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#7 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 09:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by amcal View Post
Does your child actually want this? or is he just going along with it because you want it?

Honestly, I find it a bit odd that you would consider dying his hair so you can find him on the playground. How about a brightly colored shirt instead?
Yeah - this was my thought as well, I bought brightly coloured shirts and then started tie-dying and just dying our clothes, so that we could get our clothes the way we wanted them but also so I could spot the kids in a busy park - its a fun project to do with the kids and they love chosing their own colours and are very proud of their original artwork!

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#8 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 09:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Does your child actually want this? or is he just going along with it because you want it?

Honestly, I find it a bit odd that you would consider dying his hair so you can find him on the playground. How about a brightly colored shirt instead?
All the boys are in brightly colored shirts. Often he is one of 2 or 3 blond boys in the same color shirt.

The fact that I, as his mother, have trouble spotting him on the playground, is not so much the problem (it only takes a couple extra seconds to spot the right blond little boy) as a symptom of just how uniform all these little boys are. He's my first boy, and I'm not used to how little room there is for a boy to be a little different.

I'm not really going to do this, I'm not enough of a rebel. It does feel sad to me that there's no socially acceptable way for a little boy to be a little different. He hasn't asked me to color his hair, but I know he likes being a little distinctive, who doesn't? But I guess there's not much I can do.
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#9 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 10:28 AM
 
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You could try a temporary hair color--one that washes out in a shampoo or two--to see how you both like it.

I wouldn't do it more permanently unless he specifically wanted it.

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
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#10 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 12:35 PM
 
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How about a hat? Better for sun protection in the summer too.

My dc have tried koolaid, but it didn't work because their hair is too dark. It would probably work on white blond hair though. They've also used the temporary hair colouring available in most pharmacies for fun. They've dyed their hair, streaked it, etc. every once in a while since they were about 8 or 10 years old.

My personal difficulty is that they both want to use more permanent colouring now. I love the colour of their hair and hate to see it covered up. I also think colouring is harsh and I dislike anything "chemical". I'm not enthusiastic about the idea, although I don't prohibit it either.

So I consider fun, temporary hair colouring a little like "gateway drugs". Once they start, they may never stop!
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#11 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 01:06 PM
 
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My vote is for a hat as well. Much easier to change than hair color (and on the fly) and he's got sun protection to boot.

DS 6 DD 8
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#12 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 03:50 PM
 
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I see what you are saying. I don't have any boys, but I have already thought about it b/c this one might be!
Looking at little boys clothes they all look the same! My nephews are always in some blue or khaki shorts and a t-shirt. It just seems boring! There are all kinds of cute clothes for girls. Girls have the flexibility of dressing in whatever they want, but not boys...it seems like they are really boxed in.
I don't really have advice, but felt like I could commiserate with you!

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#13 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 03:50 PM
 
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My girls like to dye their hair funny colours. I just cleaned the bathroom cabinet and found leftovers of six different shades of Manic Panic. If your kid wants wild hair, go for it. Manic Panic is vegetable based and safe. It's just hair, after all.

BTW, it does make them easier to spot in crowds.
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#14 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 04:00 PM
 
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My little guy doesn't look like every other little boy. Sure there are similarities. Instead of going "punk", I went "preppy." He wears button-up shirts with collars, and a lot of those are pretty fun. He's had one with bananas all over it, surf boards, crabs, etc, and in lots of colors. I actually started putting him in the button-up shirts because I realized the linen and cotton blends were much more breathable and cooler than a t-shirt in the summer. Yeah, he has a buzz cut (actually, a Marine cut, like his daddy), and he's very fair, but he doesn't look like a cookie cutter boy.

Oh, and he's just as likely to be wearing a fire suit, or his cowboy guns. And on a rare day...his sister's headband.

"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#15 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 07:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by zeldamomma View Post
as a symptom of just how uniform all these little boys are. He's my first boy, and I'm not used to how little room there is for a boy to be a little different.
Yes, I do see what you're saying here. I think there is always room, but there are obstacles for your son to consider...

Quote:
It does feel sad to me that there's no socially acceptable way for a little boy to be a little different. He hasn't asked me to color his hair, but I know he likes being a little distinctive, who doesn't? But I guess there's not much I can do.
This is something that depends on the kid (boy or girl). The main question is this: if he/she chooses to project a look that is different from the norm, is he/she comfortable in dealing with the way in which others may respond?

My son prefers to wear his hair long (as in VERY). It's blond, shiny and when combed, beautiful. He is also on the small side, and has delicate features. He is mistaken for a girl on a regular basis. His attitude about this? While he doesn't always appreciate being called a girl, he isn't about to let that change what he wants for himself, period. And while it's extremely important to him to correct strangers about his gender, he is kind and matter-of-fact about it, "I'm a boy. The long hair tends to throw people off." My husband and I will also step in and correct if DS is feeling shy, and he has told us how much he appreciates this. I've asked him on occasion if being mistaken for a girl ever bothers him, and he said to me, "well, yes, but it makes sense I suppose." And when I've asked him if he ever considers cutting his hair for this reason he looks at me like I'm nuts: "I am NEVER cutting my hair, Mom." Needless to say, I've stopped asking... well, occasionally when I'm trying to brush through the mass of tangles I might cave.

The main thing for me to keep in mind is that, for whatever reason, this is very important to DS. He has always been a little left of center (in more ways than just the hair). I know as he's gotten older, he's become more aware of this as he's become more aware of social norms, but he doesn't tend to swayed to the norm when something is important to him. Although I've made some uncommon parenting choices, I don't think of myself as much of a rebel either, mama. I definitely tend toward the social norms of dress and style (and frankly, not always happily so!). However, my son, in his ability to hold on to who he is despite the fact that it might be inconvenient and irritating sometimes, has taught me a lot.

I'd say if this is something your son would like to explore, go for it! Have fun with it. Devil may care! If you feel it's more your idea than his, wait and see if he doesn't bring it up himself (or some other way of expressing his individual style), and take it from there. And remember, even if your son does happen to resemble his mates physically, I imagine there are many other ways in which his individuality is undoubtedly apparent.

Just my .02 for whatever it's worth!

The best mama!

Em

Em 43 - Wife to hubby Mom to DS born: Jan. '01
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#16 of 21 Old 06-07-2010, 10:08 PM
 
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Does he want to look different? Does looking like the other kids bother him?

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13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#17 of 21 Old 06-08-2010, 11:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I haven't expressed myself clearly at all in this thread, and so I guess its my fault that I've been completely misunderstood by most of you.

To reiterate: I've ditched the hair-dye idea. The process alone isn't something I'd want to put him through-- I've never dyed my hair, so I didn't really know what was involved.

I think what's bugging me is that my daughters at 4 were able to express themselves with their clothes in socially acceptable ways. That option doesn't seem to exist for boys, and it seems a little stifling to me. I'll keep my eyes out for some more interesting clothes, so he has some options. He should be wearing a hat all summer, but it's hard to get him to keep one on.

I'm checking out of this thread, but thanks for the help everyone!

ZM
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#18 of 21 Old 06-08-2010, 02:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by zeldamomma View Post
I think what's bugging me is that my daughters at 4 were able to express themselves with their clothes in socially acceptable ways. That option doesn't seem to exist for boys, and it seems a little stifling to me. I'll keep my eyes out for some more interesting clothes, so he has some options. He should be wearing a hat all summer, but it's hard to get him to keep one on.
ZM
ITA it seems as if girls get all the fun - although all the pink does drive me a bit banans - lol, and boys well we'll just stick them in whatever - unless you can re-mortgage your house for some of the outfits - that's why we started playing around with tie dying etc maybe something you would get into and bring out the artist in you?!

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#19 of 21 Old 06-08-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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I'd go with a bandana or baseball cap, that way you get protection from the sun as well as being easy to recognize.
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#20 of 21 Old 06-09-2010, 05:42 PM
 
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i don't have a problem with hair dyeing but can't you just put a brightly coloured hat on him? we never go anywhere without hats on!

i see you've answered that. tell him to keep the hat on so you can find him! LOL or let him pick the hat out so you know he loves it. my ds1 has a hat that he adores but he's always been the type who likes being fully dressed, top to bottom, before leaving the house (and in the house but shoes and hat are off in the house.)

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#21 of 21 Old 06-09-2010, 10:19 PM
 
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if he's open to the idea then try it.

Hipkidz
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