So apparently my DD is socially inept... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 06-08-2010, 12:23 AM - Thread Starter
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According to my brilliant brother.

She's a people magnet, I see it everytime I take her to school or to other places where other kids mingle. The others ask her if she wants to play, she sasy "No" but not in the "I'm shy" tone, much more in a "Leave me alone" one. So I see that she prefers to be the lonely kid in the playground, I encourage her to play with the others and she says that she doesn't like them.

She just finished Kindy, and she didn't really made friends there. She hanged out with two kids from her class but that's it. Several times, those kids invited her over, she refused to go, then I asked her if she wanted to have them over, she said no again. I asked her why, her answer was "I don't want them playing with my toys" or "They're going to make a mess" and the so famous "I don't like kids" Well honey you are a kid yourself (of course I didn't told her that).

I just want to add that she's not rude to the others, she'll just say "No" and that's it. But on the ther hand, she LOVES to be with the adults. She thinks one of SO's associates is her best friend. She's great with adults and older children. She rather sit down and listen to their conversations than play with kids her age.

My mom is all with the "She's just mature and thinks kids her age are boring, let her be" But it's healthy that she interacts with kids her age or unleast close to it. I was like her too, but not because I wanted but becuase I was an easy target for bullying so I ended up being with my parent's friends most of time.
But with DD is different, she's not bullied. Actually she defends herself very well. She just doesn't care for the rest but just becuase of that I won't call her socially inept.

So, help?

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#2 of 5 Old 06-08-2010, 06:26 AM
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I'm totally with your mom. Doesn't sound like your DD is displeased with the situation, but rather that she is controlling it. Sounds ideal. No doubt she will change markedly as she grows up, but I would have no concern at this point.

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#3 of 5 Old 06-08-2010, 06:35 AM
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Originally Posted by lucysmom View Post
I'm totally with your mom. Doesn't sound like your DD is displeased with the situation, but rather that she is controlling it. Sounds ideal. No doubt she will change markedly as she grows up, but I would have no concern at this point.

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#4 of 5 Old 06-08-2010, 10:20 AM
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If she's content, then she doesn't have to have friends who are the exact same age. It sounds like she would do well with multi-age groups. There are some schools that offer multi-age classrooms. She might try multi-age activities, like choir or music ensembles, drama groups, chess clubs, robotics clubs.... There are lots of activities that don't require age-leveled grouping. It sounds like she would find friends there - if she wants them.
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#5 of 5 Old 06-08-2010, 01:52 PM
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She doesn't sound socially inept. A lot of kids that age are blunt with their words and it really doesn't mean the same thing as it does to an adult most of the time. I believe that all kids can use social skills lessons so they develop that knowledge because it isn't something they are born knowing.

My dd was like this when she switched to a preschool where the kids were almost all well below her in langauge development, but she was happy. Things changed when I put her in Just For Kids, which is mixed ages, and in our neighborhood school where many kids have an above average grasp on language. She made many friends from many different age groups and is thriving.

If you are worried about it then I agree with the pp who recommended mixed age classes. My dd thrives in her mixed age after school program.
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