How much to tell 3yo about adult relationships - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 06-09-2010, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
sunnygir1's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,249
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a friend who is angry with me and doesn't want to see me. My 3 year old daughter has known and loved this woman her whole life, and regularly asks to see her. I don't know if our friendship will ever be repaired. I am trying to decide how to respond to my daughter's questions. At this point I have basically said, "We can't see her today, but maybe another day." I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences about this kind of situation.
sunnygir1 is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 4 Old 06-09-2010, 01:55 PM
LynnS6's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
Posts: 12,447
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I think you owe your daughter the truth in a version she can handle. "Mommy & X had an argument, and X is mad right now, and doesn't want to see me." When she asks why, you can either say you don't know (if you don't) or that she needs some time to cool down.

It's healthier to model getting this out into the open. I wouldn't tell her the details of the argument or try to lay blame one way or the other. If she presses for details, I'd tell her "that's grown up stuff".

Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
LynnS6 is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 06-09-2010, 02:45 PM
K1329's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 564
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with the pp and believe we shouldn't shield our children from all negative aspects of adult relationships. I have tried to be truthful (in an age appropriate way) with my kids regarding most of these situations. "Mom and X are mad at each other right now. Everyone gets mad sometimes... it doesn't mean we're not friends or don't love each other. When you're mad a me, you still love me, and I still love you even when I'm mad at you." I decided to be more open about emotions - good and bad - after dd had her first "fight" with a playmate. She actually believed that the other girl would never be her friend again! (Dd and the other girl are still friends, 3 yrs. and many arguments later!)
K1329 is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 06-09-2010, 10:22 PM
Mrs.Burke's Avatar
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 83
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
same here. just do it light and easy just the way kids do it.

Mrs.Burke is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 17,306

18 members and 17,288 guests
aircantu1 , Bow , CricketVS , Deborah , firmfoot , girlspn , Hippie Mama 79 , Iron Princess , katelove , Kelleybug , lisak1234 , pokeyac , RollerCoasterMama , Springshowers , summer19 , verticalscope , zoeyzoo
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.