How much to tell 3yo about adult relationships - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 06-09-2010, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
sunnygir1's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,260
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a friend who is angry with me and doesn't want to see me. My 3 year old daughter has known and loved this woman her whole life, and regularly asks to see her. I don't know if our friendship will ever be repaired. I am trying to decide how to respond to my daughter's questions. At this point I have basically said, "We can't see her today, but maybe another day." I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences about this kind of situation.
sunnygir1 is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 06-09-2010, 01:55 PM
LynnS6's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
Posts: 12,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think you owe your daughter the truth in a version she can handle. "Mommy & X had an argument, and X is mad right now, and doesn't want to see me." When she asks why, you can either say you don't know (if you don't) or that she needs some time to cool down.

It's healthier to model getting this out into the open. I wouldn't tell her the details of the argument or try to lay blame one way or the other. If she presses for details, I'd tell her "that's grown up stuff".

Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
LynnS6 is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 06-09-2010, 02:45 PM
K1329's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with the pp and believe we shouldn't shield our children from all negative aspects of adult relationships. I have tried to be truthful (in an age appropriate way) with my kids regarding most of these situations. "Mom and X are mad at each other right now. Everyone gets mad sometimes... it doesn't mean we're not friends or don't love each other. When you're mad a me, you still love me, and I still love you even when I'm mad at you." I decided to be more open about emotions - good and bad - after dd had her first "fight" with a playmate. She actually believed that the other girl would never be her friend again! (Dd and the other girl are still friends, 3 yrs. and many arguments later!)
K1329 is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 06-09-2010, 10:22 PM
Mrs.Burke's Avatar
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 84
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
same here. just do it light and easy just the way kids do it.

Mrs.Burke is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off