That darn slide will be my undoing... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 06-25-2010, 08:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So we go to the local playground 2-3 times a week. DS1 (almost 4) loves to play with the giant green slide - it`s the type that has a curve and is covered. Problem is, he also likes to climb up from the bottom, which I totally forbid him from doing. The playground does get busy at times, and there have been incidents, so from where I stand, this is not negotiable; he has to use the stairs, or stay away from the slide. Most parenst also enforce this ''rule'', but not all. Today, 2 older boys (5 and 6, maybe) kept trying to climb up, so DS1 would try to follow them. I spent the entire time trying to pry him away, but the other parents didn`t do anything. A little girl (maybe 2) was coming down just when one of the older boys lept up, and she got hurt. She was crying, and still the other parents did not even attempt to stop the boys from climbing up. DS1 thinks it`s not fair that they don`t get told to stop. Am I wrong here?

Mommy to The Boy (August 2006) and Another Boy (November 2009)
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#2 of 23 Old 06-25-2010, 08:45 PM
 
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We have recently had this discussion with my 4yo ds. The one where he wants to know why he cannot do things other kids are doing. I tell him every family has their own rules and we follow ours. It may not be fair but it is life and he gets it.

PS Besides it is not like you can pry other people's kids off the slide.
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#3 of 23 Old 06-25-2010, 08:51 PM
 
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^^ I agree. My child my rules and he knows that. My standard answer in this kind of situation is, "He can do whatever he wants if his parents think it's okay but I don't think it's safe so I don't want you to do it." If he doesn't listen aafter a couple of warnings, we leave.

I can only parent *my* child and I'm trying to get him to understand life's not always fair. I think THAT more than anything else is life's important lesson.
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#4 of 23 Old 06-25-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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Eh, I let my kids climb the slide unless it's busy. It's good excercise. I don't expect other parents to have the same rules for their kids as I do for mine. As long as their kids aren't hurting mine (or others), I don't care.
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#5 of 23 Old 06-25-2010, 09:00 PM
 
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"I'm only the mom of two people, and I only make the rules for my two kids, and they aren't among my two kids" is my standard line for why other kids can do things mine can't.

My rule for curvy slides is that, because we can't see if anyone is coming down, we only climb up if other kids aren't in the park right then. I don't mind climbing up slides where you can see if someone is coming down. But I agree that IMO climbing up the curvy slide is an accident waiting to happen.
Still, I don't get to tell other kids what to do at the park unless they are hurting or being mean to my kids, and not everyone is going to do things how I'd like them to. I'm worried about their kids taking feet to the head when someone is coming down the slide, though.
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#6 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 12:42 AM
 
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Like the pp's, we also talk a lot about how our family has our own rules and other people may do things differently from us and that's ok.

That said, I am one of those parents letting my kids climb up the slide. I'd stop them from climbing if it looks like a kid is waiting to come down, but otherwise, I think that climbing up the slide is a great challenge and one of the more fun things to do at the playground for them right now.

Mommy to two boys, ages 4 and 6.

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#7 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 12:47 AM
 
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I have the same slide rules, and my standard statement to my children is "He/she is not my child, my children do not do x because of....".

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#8 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 01:45 AM
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I agree with everyone else. Except, if another child is hurting someone, I will intervene. I won't touch someone else's child, but I have done the following: 1. Jumped in and said, "whoa... that little girl is much smaller than you, please be careful not to hurt her." and 2. If the child is relentless or unresponsive to a verbal reminder, I ask them to go get their parent or to show me where their parent is. THAT rarely happens, actually, just twice.

I am also a mom who lets her kids go up the slide (I didn't though when I just had one--but I have relaxed a bit since then). But our rules with that are: if you go up, you might get hurt by someone coming down so BEWARE! and, if someone is at the top wanting to come down, you sit down and go down--we don't block the slide or the sliders. I will remove them if they aren't being respectful of others (second rule) and natural consequences kinda enforce the first one.

Amy

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#9 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 02:42 AM
 
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You're not wrong and your DS is not wrong either when he says it's not fair but you can only do what the PPs have said and parent your child. I also let my boy go up the slide but only if there are no other kids playing close by OR if all the kids are climbing up the slide and the parents are OK with that. I would also stop him from climbing up the slide if I saw a younger child copying him and the parents were not OK with it. I think it's a good idea to come up with a stock phrase like 'this is the rule in our family. Other families may do things differently', and apply it in these types of situations. It's tough and I'm guessing that playground slides are only the beginning. Wait until you get the 'but so-and-so can stay out until 1am on the weekend. It's not fair!'
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#10 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 09:17 AM
 
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I would just teach him how and when it's okay to climb up, and how to make sure no one else is coming down. but I'm kind of chill about climbing up slides.
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#11 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 03:01 PM
 
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I agree with everyone else about the "your rules are your rules" issue.

Just adding that as long as the safety rules are followed (don't go up the slide when someone's heading for the top or wanting to come down) that we are slide climbers. It's great exercise.

I would not be okay with someone else's parent trying to dictate how we use the slide (again, as long as kids aren't coming down).

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#12 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 03:31 PM
 
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i dont care if kids climb up the slide, unless other kids are trying to come down it. i would have said something to the other kids too when i noticed a little girl trying to come down it. i would have told them to get off the slide cause someone was coming down. i dont even care if their parents get mad. they should have been watching their kid. it is really rude to climb up a slide when someone wants to go down. i learned that in kindergarten for crying out loud. but if everybody is doing it together then whhatever. it can be the climb up the slide game.

as far as what your rules are, those are your rules. and i have told my kids the same line about "i am not that kids parent, i am your parent and this is my rule"

Me,DH,DS1'95, '98,DSD'03,DD1'07,DD2'09,DS2'12 Living with Fructose Malabsorption Syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 3-Hypermobility.)o( and sometimes I get toif I am lucky.
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#13 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 03:35 PM
 
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So people keep saying they don't mind kids going up the slide so long as no one is coming down it, which I agree with, but as I understand the OP, this is a curvy slide that is covered at the top, so there is no way to tell from the bottom if someone is going to be coming down. Is that right, OP? So I don't think she's complaining about kids going up slides in general, just slides where you can't tell if anyone is on the way down due to how the slide is constructed.
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#14 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 04:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
So people keep saying they don't mind kids going up the slide so long as no one is coming down it, which I agree with, but as I understand the OP, this is a curvy slide that is covered at the top, so there is no way to tell from the bottom if someone is going to be coming down. Is that right, OP? So I don't think she's complaining about kids going up slides in general, just slides where you can't tell if anyone is on the way down due to how the slide is constructed.
you could teach the kid to yell up the slide before climbing, "anyone up there?" "anyone coming down?" "I'm climbing now!"
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#15 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 04:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber View Post
you could teach the kid to yell up the slide before climbing, "anyone up there?" "anyone coming down?" "I'm climbing now!"
Oh, good idea! Love it!
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#16 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 06:17 PM
 
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you could teach the kid to yell up the slide before climbing, "anyone up there?" "anyone coming down?" "I'm climbing now!"
That's how we do it. We also check the top platform first. And I say we 'cause I sometimes climb them too.

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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#17 of 23 Old 06-26-2010, 11:14 PM
 
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I also enforce the no climbing up the slide rule....he can climb his own slide but not at the park. I am also one who will tell other kids to get down as there are kids trying to slide down....afterall a slide is for sliding and stairs are for climbing.

PAT- photosmile2.gif Mommy to a super little boy kid.gif Tyr -Nov 17, 2006 Married to joy.gif Sky -August 28, 1993 
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#18 of 23 Old 06-27-2010, 01:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AAK View Post
I agree with everyone else. Except, if another child is hurting someone, I will intervene. I won't touch someone else's child, but I have done the following: 1. Jumped in and said, "whoa... that little girl is much smaller than you, please be careful not to hurt her." and 2. If the child is relentless or unresponsive to a verbal reminder, I ask them to go get their parent or to show me where their parent is. THAT rarely happens, actually, just twice.

I am also a mom who lets her kids go up the slide (I didn't though when I just had one--but I have relaxed a bit since then). But our rules with that are: if you go up, you might get hurt by someone coming down so BEWARE! and, if someone is at the top wanting to come down, you sit down and go down--we don't block the slide or the sliders. I will remove them if they aren't being respectful of others (second rule) and natural consequences kinda enforce the first one.

Amy
My only problem with this is that, yes, your child may be aware that they may get hurt by someone sliding down, but what about my child who may be that child sliding down that may also get hurt and didn't get to make that choice? I know that broaches into the second portion where you must be respectful of others, but...I guess I just see my child being hurt by your child's choices, kwim?

I am torn by the climbing slide argument - on one hand, very fun to climb a slide; on the other hand, it can cause others to be hurt. I think I am leaning toward the "only when we are alone at the playground" camp...

Rebekah , single working mom to Micah (04.12.2007)
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#19 of 23 Old 06-27-2010, 01:17 PM
 
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We have a very busy playground near our house, at a shopping mall. Moms come in, sit down with their coffee and phone, and let their kids run. I have started policing the slide, because no one else will, and I got tired of seeing littler kids get hurt. I stand there and tell them all, "Up the stairs, down the slide." And I repeat it over and over, and they all start to follow the instructions. If a new kid joins in, I start saying it again. No parent has ever come up to me and told me to stop or even asked what I was doing. I have had a handful come up to thank me for doing it.

I allow my kids to go up the slide if no one else is there.
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#20 of 23 Old 06-27-2010, 08:51 PM
 
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I let my kids climb up the slide unless it's busy too. If ANYBODY is on the jungle gym, and might come down the slide, they can't climb up it. But we are often the only people at the park, so not much is off limits as long as nobody else is using it.

Coming down the slide always has the right of way. But, other than that, they can scale the sides if they want.

Sometimes it takes getting clobbered by a bigger kid on his way down before the kid who wants to go up realizes why it's not a good idea. But, until that happens, he won't ever see your side of this.
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#21 of 23 Old 06-27-2010, 09:19 PM
 
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we actaullu use the term, "slide manners" which means essentially the slide is meant to go down but if no one is else is on it or if everyone has decided to go up you may also go up but you always have to defer to the kid who decides to go down.

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#22 of 23 Old 06-28-2010, 04:04 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lonegirl View Post
....afterall a slide is for sliding and stairs are for climbing.
Sigh! To me, half the point of playgrounds is to challenge kids athletically. Most playstructures just don't provide much challenge to my little guy - and he is not quite ready for the monkey bars. Climbing on things the "wrong" way is so much more interesting. I too climb up slides with my 3 yr old son - I think it is great fun

I do like the idea of calling up a slide before climbing it, and also explaining right of way (my son would probably be fascinated with this concept!) I don't think that all parents need to have the same rules about playground etiquette. The kids just need to know what their own rules are. Realizing we all live a little differently is just one of those really important lessons to teach our little ones. Also, it is not the end of the world if they occasionally get hurt while playing!
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#23 of 23 Old 06-28-2010, 08:34 AM
 
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My 5 yr old learned from early on to yell up curvy slides bfore he climbed up. He rarely uses the stairs, has never hurt anyone, and takes turns. If someone told him to stop climbing up the slide without a good reason (someone else's turn, someone else coming down) we would have words.

Em, married to Alex, mom to Samantha (11 yrs) and Cullen (5yrs) and Maybe (5/16/2010) Trying to grow 4,000lbs of produce on .2 acres. See my blog!
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