I just accepted an offer on a new home just a few weeks ago. While we were having the home inspection done we found that there was a semi-inground pool in the neighbor's yard. When we were looking at the house we could not see it because from our yard, it looked like a large deck. I am totally freaked out now since I have two three year old and I am terrified of anything happening. I am sick to my stomach about this. There is a small wooden fence surrounding the pool but I am not sure about any locked gates. They have recently installed a new three or four foot fence next to our yard. This has really got me worried since I constantly hear about children drowning in the neighbor's pool. My husband does seem too worried. Do you think that it would be rude to ask if they installed a locking fence door (at our expense)?
I wouldn't be too worried, I guess. We have neighbors with pools and hot tubs and some w/no fences at all - the houses are 1-2 acres apart, though.
I don't see what it would hurt to ask your neighbors if they would install a locked gate.
|Do you think that it would be rude to ask if they installed a locking fence door (at our expense)?|
I would not think to ask someone to do that on their property.
I don't see this starting off on a good footing as far as neighbor relations go.
it is your problem, not theirs, you put a gate/fence in your yard.
ETA- my feelings on this are because even if you do get the neighbors to put a lock on the fence you don't know that it's going to be locked. Somebody could forget to lock it and then.... oops.... your baby finds it that day and you weren't prepared because you thought there was a lock on it. I would never rely on somebody else to protect my child like that. I would definitely look into getting a fence with a lock on YOUR property so you can check the lock every time you let your kiddos outside.
Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)
Also, that should be regardless of the pool issue. You could get your neighbors to put a lock on the pool - but what about your kid possibly getting out of the yard, into the street, etc etc etc.
If you are concerned about the impression you are making, why not just say hello to the neighbors and let them know you have a little one, and that's why you are getting new fencing? Trust me, saying "hi, please let me install something on your property" would make a FAR worse impression.
I am planning to put smal fence alarm on our end right now.
Aside from that, as someone has already said - even if they install a locking gate, there's no way to be sure they use it and don't end up propping it open or just forget (we have as safety gate around our pool and our whole yard is fenced around that. If a kid wanders into our fenced back yard - which I would NOT appreciate, btw - we still have a second gate. The guy who installed the gate warned us that sometimes people get lazy and start propping it open which then makes the whole thing useless). At least if you fence your yard, you know you lock the gates.
When we bought this house, I was so excited to have the pool but my daughter was 18 months at the time. The first thing we did was get one of those alarms that goes off if something more than 9 pounds hits the water and then we called to have the safety gate installed. It was expensive and ugly but it's worth it. I get the panic over a pool next door, but I really think it's up to you to solve this problem from your end.
My husband does seem too worried. Do you think that it would be rude to ask if they installed a locking fence door (at our expense)?
I live on a block with 21 homes. Of those 21 homes, 13 have pools in the backyard. So, to me, a neighbor with a pool doesn't seem like a big deal.
The fear stems from losing a very young cousin a few years ago and having memories of when I was 4 or 5 years old and unlocked the front door and walked out of the house when my mother accidently feel asleep on the couch (she was extremely tired and overworked). I was found by a policeman over a quarter of a mile away from my home. I was on my way to find my friend's house.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill
Here you MUST have a fence of some sort around your pool that kids cannot access (it doesnt have to lock, it just has to block people from wandering in). Or some sort of pool cover thing. We have a screened porch thing with our pool in it so people cant come in unless they open our doors.
Ds also took ISR and he has full acess to the pool and I am not one bit worried about him (of course he is supervised, but I dont feel like I have to hover over him when we are outside)
Leighi123, thanks for the resource. There wasn't an instructor in our area. I will be getting swimming lessons for them both of them regardless.
The good thing is that I can still get out of the deal if I really need or want to. I just lose my ernest money.
Thank you for everyone's opinion, but I think this post has run it's course.
Thanks again everyone. Have a good day.
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Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012) Married to awesome SAH DH.
|I am not asking to modify so I can have a pretty view or something like that. I am talking about safety. We live in an area with a high number of children. I know many people are only concerned about themselves. But I think if people thought about the safety of ALL children, not just their own, things would be a lot better.|
IMO if you like the house, the neighbors having a pool shouldn't be a deal breaker.
in the end without zoning regulations you are not in the position to dictate
the one who has to look after your children is you
But then, my parents live in the suburbs and have a pool, and the first thing they did was make make sure we all knew to lock the gate because they were afraid neighborhood children might wander in, and after we had our kids they installed a second fence to separate the pool from the house.
I think it would be appropriate to contact them, let them know you're considering moving to the neighborhood, and ask if they have a gate installed. If you like the house, I'd also rethink backing out just because of the pool- there's no guarantee that a neighbor somewhere else won't build a new pool shortly after you move in.
Also, OP, just for your own peace of mind, no matter where you move, get one of those Radio Shack door alarms that go off when the door opens.
I really love the house. I just felt heartbroken because I got the house because I thought I was going to be able to let my kids run around the yard while I sit out and read a magazine on the deck. So much for a little relaxation, at least for a little while.
Actually, we have a small creek in the back of our current home and we have no fence. There are bushes right in front of the creek. We are always diligent about watching them, though. And yes, I know they can walk out the door and end up in the creek. I am just a worse senario person.
ETA: I think you'll still be able to sit out there with a magazine while the girls play. I'm not sure how the pool specifically changes that. If your yard isn't fenced, then they could get to the road too, right? So having to watch and make sure they don't go in the road is the same, to me, as having to watch and make sure they don't go in the neighbor's yard/pool, and once you get settled and comfy I think both could be managed with a magazine -- when I sit outside with my kids, I can see them in my periphery and keep an ear tuned into them pretty easily, and if they disappear around a certain corner I always notice and follow to see what they're doing.
I am very good about watching my kids...actually, I'm probably too protective of them. I'll definitely add the door and fence alarms just to be safe.
I really did appreciate everything.....even the poem "Mending Wall" by Robert Frost.
Thanks everyone. Have a good evening.
I just read how a three year old climbed his fence and drowned in the neighbor's pool.
I'm confused about the need for a taller fence-- if your son could climb the 3-4 foot fence, couldn't he get over the gate at the top of the stairs to the pool? Remember that your kids are growing and changing, and in two years, the situation will be completely different.
If you do talk to your new neighbors about the pool, I would be careful not to assume that they are careless, or haven't considered safety issues.
|I just felt heartbroken because I got the house because I thought I was going to be able to let my kids run around the yard while I sit out and read a magazine on the deck.|
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