anxious 5 year old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-04-2010, 11:53 PM - Thread Starter
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I have posted a bit about this is gentle discipline. I have 5 year boy/girl twins a 22 month old and a new baby. The 5 year olds were going to be in preschool this year but due to severe anxiety issues in DS1 it didnt work out. I spent a whole term going with them and DD started off ok and stayed on her own for a few weeks. DS1 would not stay so i just took him home. After about 4 weeks DD wouldnt stay either. Hard to say why.

Anyway, here i am at home with 4 kids and the 5 year olds are BORED. I dont know what to do with them. I dont let them watch much tv and they get some computer time but this seems to be ALL they want to do. Its cold outside and I cant be outside a lot because of the new baby. They wont go out unless someone is out with them.

They ask each day "what are we doing today" but if i organise to go to peoples houses DS1 will not want to go and spends the whole time we are there wanting to come home. It makes it hard for everyone else to enjoy being there. They often sit around waiting for me to do something with them. I get this with younger kids but i really thought by 5 they would be a bit more self sufficient.

We moved about 18 months ago and the level of anxiety they have has made making new friends almost impossible.

Any ideas about dealing with anxiety. Do I let them stay at home? Force them into preschool (DD says she wants to go back but i have my doubts that it will work out - we will try though!). SHould i be arranging more interesting activities for them to do at home? I feel overwhelmed by the needs of the toddler and new baby so am also feeling resentful that they are not more self sufficient. but then guilty that they are under stimulated.
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#2 of 3 Old 07-05-2010, 05:26 PM
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Would they feel more comfortable with a nurturing and fun adult, somebody that is sensitive and someone who can draw them out? Can you find a babysitter to give you relief here and there? Maybe they will feel more comfortable with an adult than their peers?

If they have an anxiety issue, I don't think the answer is to push them. I think it would be more beneficial if you guys can work on things little by little, some kind of exercise to overcome the issue. And maybe counseling if your insurance can cover that. I think a very very good counselor can help them effectively.

and also maybe posting at SN forum could be helpful as well?

Good luck mama. You seem frustrated.
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#3 of 3 Old 07-05-2010, 06:14 PM
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no definitely not pushing. its a bad bad thing that will make the anxiety worse.

how about a mothers helper so something.

my dd has anxiety and it peaked at 5. however its not that bad that she needs services. however i do a lot to help too. we take 'mental breaks' from school. whenever seh comes to me with a worry i try and help her to put it into perspective. if she is suprised at how cool i am i try to express how easy that thing is for me. its ok if its tough for her. i tell her how she finds being on stage easy and how i freak out at that idea.

if it seems real bad i would get some services.

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