how much does your 5 yr old cry? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 07-05-2010, 01:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel like my ds is crying all day long. He cries over EVERYTHING. I have a 7 week old, but this is not a new baby thing - it's been going on LONG before I had dd2. He cries literally probably 10-12 times a day, over EVERYTHING. He whines terribly on top of that. I've tried everything I can think of - speaking only in quiet, soft tones so he doesn't have to escalate himself, I've tried time outs, modeling good behaviour, I've tried the "I can't/won't answer you when you talk like that, please try again" method, I've tried praising him when he doesn't cry about something ("I'm glad to see you controlled yourself even though you were so frustrated"), I've tried letting him get his anger or frustration out by punching a bed pillow...nothing. He cries SO MUCH, I'm embarrassed for him - honestly he cries at least twice as much as my 7 week old baby. Full on screaming sobbing tantruming - I am at a loss, and not enjoying him AT ALL right now.

Em, married to Alex, mom to Samantha (11 yrs) and Cullen (5yrs) and Maybe (5/16/2010) Trying to grow 4,000lbs of produce on .2 acres. See my blog!
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#2 of 5 Old 07-05-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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Well, I'm not sure of the value of comparing one child to another. He is who he is and he may just be more sensitive than most. That said, my 5yo dd cries when she's hurt, scared or really tired. So a few times a week or so I suppose. Having a newborn and an older child is so unbelievably challenging. I don't envy you.

Diane, SAHM to DD (June 05) and DS (April 07).
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#3 of 5 Old 07-05-2010, 04:30 PM
 
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I understand your frustration. And, unfortunately, if he's going to school.. this will cause him problems.

Kids torment the kids who make it fun. Even as babies and toddlers, they will pick on the kid who cries easily.

I had a daycare boy who at the age of five, cried when a nine month old hit him on the leg. So, she hit him again. It didn't hurt him... but, it made him cry. We worked hard with him. We tried everything we could to help him learn more appropriate ways to deal with his emotions. We stuck up for him when it was reasonable. But, sometimes, he was being completely unreasonable and just crying for lack of a better way to deal.

He got to kindergarten, and cried every time someone offended him. But, he spent so much time crying, that eventually the teacher stopped listening. The few times he had a really good reason for his distress, nobody listened because it was just one more crying jag.

He's going into fourth grade, and he has a better handle on things now. He still gets very upset, he still gets tormented a little... but, it's mostly normal every day events that bother him more than it would other kids. He still takes everything very seriously. He has no sense of humor. If you've ever seen "Big Bang Theory" on TV... he's SHELDON.

But, with time, and lots of explaining, he's learned to keep it together until he gets in mom's car, then he has one big day's worth of meltdowns. He's incredibly bright and sensitive. He's always had a really strong sense of right and wrong. He can understand how others are feeling, and he's always the one to reach out to another child.
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#4 of 5 Old 07-05-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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Could it be a physical issue, as in sleep-related??
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#5 of 5 Old 07-05-2010, 06:36 PM
 
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Has your ds always cried easily, or is this relatively new? I know you mentioned it's not related to the new baby, but could it have started when you were pregnant or something? My ds is also five, and just recently it seems like he is crying all the time, over little things. It seems like he is crying MORE since he turned five than he ever used to . Instead of getting mad, or in addition to getting mad, now he cries. We don't have any major changes going on at home. I wonder if it's just a five-year-old thing.

lady.gif mama to H. 4/05 and A. 9/08 and baby C. 10/11

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