Does your 9-yr-old do this? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 04:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Would like some help seeing how much of my daughter's behavior is normal for her age. Does your 9-yr-old....

Have crying tantrums in public?
"Talk back" or mutter at you under his/her breath when he/she gets in trouble (putting him/herself in deeper trouble)?
Have to be told multiple times to brush hair, brush teeth, get dressed, or perform a chore?
Talk constantly?
"Know" everything?

I am so tired of trying to correct my daughter on little things, because she makes a big deal about it, so the situation escalates, and then I get called a "MEAN MOM!" Wondering if I should let more things go as normal behavior for her age.

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#2 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 04:20 PM
 
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Other than the crying tantrums, my 8 year old does all of those. He's actually really embarassed if he starts to cry in public.

I was wondering the other day how age appropriate it was myself. He's making me batty having to tell him 25 times to do every single little thing.
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#3 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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Yes, my 9 y.o. does all those, except talk constantly. It's been getting better as the year has past, though.

She only cries in public rarely.
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#4 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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Yes, my almost 9 year old does all those things. She doesn't often have tantrums in public, but she does occasionally. I think it's all pretty normal for the age. And I hope it passes at some point, because it drives me crazy! I mean really, I tell her (for the 30th time) to brush her hair and her teeth so we can leave and it's like, A HUGE FREAKING DEAL. Geeze. I'm the worst mother in the world for expecting basic hygeine to be met :eyeroll
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#5 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 04:30 PM
 
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Except the tantrums in public, my 9 yo acts similar at times. It just depends on her day, and mood.

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#6 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 05:06 PM
 
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Aside from the tantrums in public (ds is far too private to ever do that, he rarely did that at 3; I fully expect dd to be doing that though), and the talking constantly (he is an introvert), yes.

Question: If she's muttering under her breath, why does she get into trouble? I could see saying "either tell me what you want to say or keep it to yourself" but if it's under her breath, do you really care? (I mutter under my breath a lot!)

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#7 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 06:11 PM
 
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My 9 year old (newly) son does all of those except he doesn't talk constantly (he's also really introverted) but when he gets on a roll it can last a while.

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#8 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 06:41 PM
 
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Not sure it's helpful but my 7 yo does all of that. She starts jumping up and down when she is anxious and angry (happens at least once a day). The baby thinks this is hysterically funny though. She questions absolutely everything. Would not let me sign her up for a camp I thought she would enjoy and NOW - when she sees the other kids in it, wants to switch for next week. Well that camp is FULL. You should trust me more about these things.

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#9 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 06:50 PM
 
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my soon to be 10yr old does it all. i blame it on hormones. she's always been emotional. cries very easily and talks constantly, but now it's more intense and more emotional than the past.
yeah, she often won't listen to my advice

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#10 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 06:55 PM
 
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My nephew did and still has a tendency to do that. Especially when things don't go his way and he turned 10 earlier this year. He's bad enough to where I refuse to watch him unless it's an absolute emergency.

Though a lot of his issues come from the fact that his father is the disciplinarian and for a long time his mother just gave into him for whatever he wanted. His dad works out o the home a lot because he's a contractor.

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#11 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 07:28 PM
 
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Have crying tantrums in public? No.. she's never been much of a dramatic hissy fit thrower. But, I know teenagers who still do this.


"Talk back" or mutter at you under his/her breath when he/she gets in trouble (putting him/herself in deeper trouble)? LOL.. Not that I can remember.


Have to be told multiple times to brush hair, brush teeth, get dressed, or perform a chore? YEP!


Talk constantly? I know every detail of everything that has ever happened to anybody she might possibly know... she's 18 and it hasn't stopped yet.


"Know" everything? Yep... complete with the rolley eye, and the "I KNOW-WWWWA"
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#12 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 10:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aramat View Post
Does your 9-yr-old....

Have crying tantrums in public? NO.
"Talk back" or mutter at you under his/her breath when he/she gets in trouble (putting him/herself in deeper trouble)?No.
Have to be told multiple times to brush hair, brush teeth, get dressed, or perform a chore? Yes
Talk constantly? Sometimes. She DOES want a lot of time with me and has a lot to say and a lot of observations.
"Know" everything? No.

I am so tired of trying to correct my daughter on little things, because she makes a big deal about it, so the situation escalates, and then I get called a "MEAN MOM!" Wondering if I should let more things go as normal behavior for her age.
I do not know if you are mean or not but I might talk with her about how she feels. Listen to all her constant talking and try to engage her on something tht she says. spend time with her and get to know what is interesting and upsetting her. then you will be able to discern better where she is being disrespectful and where she is vying for attention and where she is just being a kid.
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#13 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 10:41 PM
 
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My 9yo does all of those things except for the public crying/tantrums.

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#14 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 10:46 PM
 
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definately the eye rolling and personal grooming stuff here...glad to hear we are not alone, still dislikes taking a shower, will go to school without brushing her teeth (because I didn't remind her), we have just turned 10 and I have noticed her best friend showers daily so I'm hoping (even a definate 2 or 3x per week would be fine)
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#15 of 20 Old 07-16-2010, 11:50 PM
 
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My 8 year old does all that. Unfortunately.
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#16 of 20 Old 07-17-2010, 01:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you, ladies! Feeling like yes, we do have some issues, but, no, we're not too far off base and maybe I can relax a bit. I guess I keep expecting her to be more mature because she is intelligent, but 9 seems to be an odd mix of baby and teen that I wasn't really expecting!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
Question: If she's muttering under her breath, why does she get into trouble? I could see saying "either tell me what you want to say or keep it to yourself" but if it's under her breath, do you really care? (I mutter under my breath a lot!)
I am totally going to say that next time that she says it "under" her breath but fully intending to be heard--drives me crAaazy!

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#17 of 20 Old 07-17-2010, 06:45 AM
 
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My eight year-old does all of these and it drives me to distraction! She can be so grown up and seems to pick the most inconvenient moments to be otherwise
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#18 of 20 Old 07-17-2010, 11:03 AM
 
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Except for the hygiene stuff I know I was like that at 9. I also know that I began developing at 9 and got my period at 10. If it were me, I'd be suspecting hormones.

My younger sister was terrible about hygiene at that age. It would get to the point where we would practically have to throw her into the shower As soon as she discovered boys, the hygiene problem stopped LOL!

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#19 of 20 Old 07-17-2010, 11:06 AM
 
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He doesn't have tantrums and he prefers a giant sigh to an eye roll, but yea, my almost 10 year old does all that stuff.
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#20 of 20 Old 07-18-2010, 08:31 AM
 
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YES!! My 9yo ds does ALL of those things. It's frankly so good to hear that I'm not the only one ~wipes brow~

I need to get back into Louise Bates Ames. She writes the most amazing little tomes. Little tiny books called "Your One Year Old", "Your Two Year Old" and so on. They're all spot-on for developmentally appropriate behavior. AND available at libraries.

Note to self: get "Your Nine Year Old"

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