Anyone have a very hairy daughter? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 08-12-2010, 03:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My DD is super hairy. Not just hairy but, really, seriously furry arms and legs. It is so thick, it rises off her arms and legs and creates a blanket of fur.

It never used to bother her. She loved how soft it was. Kids in preschool would pet her arms and tell her she was like a teddy bear.

Then in Kindergarten, someone made a comment but, not in a mean way, just told her she was furry like a bear.

Well, last year in first grade, someone made a more distinct comment about her furry legs and arms. Not really mean but, pointing out that it was different.

It got DD to start thinking about it and noticing other people really aren't nearly as hairy as she is.

She started noticing that when she gets goose bumps, it makes her hair stand up. Or when she has sunscreen on, her hair is more noticeable.

Well, I guess a boy in class said something to her yesterday. He actually touched her leg and said something along the lines of being shocked at how hairy she is.

She's very blond, with fair skin so her "fur" is very blond but, it is very thick and it does puff up on her arms and legs and in the sun, well, it sort of shines??

So, she was upset about what the boy said and she's been really fretful about it. She is really talking about how she's so different from other kids, no one has fur like hers etc....

We talk about not worrying about what other people think, we talk about how everyone is unique and everyone has things about themselves that are different from other people, I tell her I love everything about her and that I think her hair is beautiful and soft etc..... but, it really is starting to bother her.

She's only 7 so shaving is out of the question although, I would probably let her shave earlier than I would otherwise have allowed a daughter if this continues to be bothersome with people making comments. But it's on her arms too - not just her legs.

So, I guess I have two issues and I'm not sure how to deal with it. First, I can see how it would be an issue for her. I get how it would bother her. But, my concern is why it bothers her.

Objectively speaking, she's considered a very pretty girl. And, she likes being pretty, being told she's pretty, being concerned about being pretty etc.... so, the hair issue is of concern to me because I worry, is it just her being concerned about being pretty? Or, is it really an issue with potential to damage self esteem?

Or does it even matter? If it bothers her then it bothers her, maybe the reason doesn't matter? But, what to do about it. She's only 7.

Sigh..... Anyone else have a hairy daughter?
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#2 of 10 Old 08-12-2010, 04:02 AM
 
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Is it possible she has a form of hypertrichosis? It might be worth looking into to be honest. Often times it can be easier to deal with being different when you have an explanation to people who make a comment.

P.S. If you google that word, don't be scared by all the hairy faces. Like everything else there are different degrees in which it affects the body.

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#3 of 10 Old 08-12-2010, 04:16 AM
 
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My dd is 5 years old and she is also very hairy. Comments from other kids haven't come up yet, so I feel for you.

She's gotten comments from family though, and from the pediatrician. At first I cringed, but what can you do? We acknowledged it, because it's true.

We've had some fun conversations about it. Such as, what it would be like if she were even furrier? Wouldn't it be great! She would be more evolved - no need for clothes, better temperature regulation, protection from the sun, etc., etc.

I also told her the ending to a novel called Galapagos: A Novel by Kurt Vonnegut (the entire human race ends up evolving from a girl made furry by the radiation from the h-bomb). She liked that.
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#4 of 10 Old 08-12-2010, 12:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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MusicianDad - I'm familiar with that condition and I'm pretty positive she doesn't have it. My dad and my brother both have exactly the same type of hair - very dense and blond, longish and very soft. I remember always loving to pet my dad's arms.

Plus, it's only on her arms and legs.

I do wonder if her hair will thin out with puberty?

JSerene - we do the same - talk about how soft it is, she's made jokes about not needing a sweater etc... but, I don't think she's finding it fun anymore so I want to be sensitive to her feelings and not make light of it anymore since that's not how she's feeling about it.
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#5 of 10 Old 08-12-2010, 12:47 PM
 
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There are "beauty treatments" (laser? I don't remember) for hairy arms. I'm hairy everywhere BUT my arms so I don't have personal experience, but I have a friend who gets something or other done to make her arms less hairy. When your DD is old enough to shave her legs, maybe she'd be interested in something of the sort? Sorry I'm so vague on it but I'm sure if you called a day spa they could figure out what I'm talking about.
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#6 of 10 Old 08-12-2010, 03:31 PM
 
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I was very hairy when I was a child and had to start shaving in the 6th grade (although I probably would have started sooner if my mom had let me) My last/maiden name is Harris, which is a common name, but the kids thought it was funny to call me hairy a** because I was so hairy. I also had a unibrow and I got made fun of A LOT for that. I also remember in the 7th grade wearing a bikini and being made fun of for having a "happy trail". I found it all terribly embaressing, but there came a point where I could shave/pluck/nair to stop the name calling. I also had a friend who's Korean aunt thought my hairy arms were fantastic, and I don't recall ever seeing her and not having my arms petted lol. Anyways, I got over it and it's funny to think back to now (I'm 30), and I can see my girls are pretty hairy, but it doesn't bother them. I do tend to the unibrows when it comes to the kids though... I found that taunting to be the worse. I think just talking to your daughter and letting her know that she is too young to shave or use any other type of process to get rid of the hair at this point, but that day will come. And, she is beautiful no matter how much hair she has.

ETA: As an adult I'm pretty obsessive about shaving. I'm heavily tattood, so even my arms get shaved now. I don't mind, it's just who I am.

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#7 of 10 Old 08-12-2010, 04:06 PM
 
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I totally understand that at her age you don't want her to start shaving. But just to give you options for her arms in future, I have hair on my arms that grows pretty long and thick if left unchecked, but shaving them completely looks weird, so I use clippers with a #1 attachment, which shortens the hair but doesn's shave it off so it just looks like finer shorter arm hair, not shaved. I only need to do it every few months, arm hair doesnt grow that fast. It has made such a huge difference to me in terms of alleviating self-consciousness about it. You could experiement with different attachments on clippers to see how it looks.

I think it will be difficult when my DD reaches that age if she gets hairy; she's 4 now and is just starting to get leg hair and so far it's pretty light in colour and volume. I would probably let her try the clippers to thin it out a bit, less radical than real shaving, IMO. Some kids are more sensitive about being different than others, I know everything about my body bothered me when i was a kid so I sympathize with your DD and the hair. BTW, it thinned out in my twenties I would say, but seemed to be at its worst during the teen years, when I was most self-conscious!!

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#8 of 10 Old 08-12-2010, 10:19 PM
 
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My dd is very hairy and the hair is dark. She is self conscious about it, so I will probably let her shave earlier than I started.
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#9 of 10 Old 08-13-2010, 01:09 AM
 
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Yes, my oldest is hairy and has been from birth. She has downy hair on her back and shoulders as well as hairy arms and legs and crazy eyebrows. She gets it from my husband's side - he is hairy, his mother and sister are too, but luckily for them, they are blonde. My DD on the other hand has my dark hair/coloring. It hasn't been an issue yet, but we'll see what happens as she grows. My baby, on the other hand, isn't hairy. It is weird to me to have her skin be so perfectly smooth compared to DD1.

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#10 of 10 Old 07-13-2012, 06:45 PM
 
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hi there,

 

I know this is an old thread, but I wondered how you were getting on with your daughter?  My two daughters are the same but the hair is dark.  Lots of medical testing done and there is  nothing wrong with them hormonally it appears to just be part of their genetic make up despite the fact that no one else in our families are like this.  My eldest daughter - nearly 7, cops a lot of comments about her arms in particular.  I too wonder if they will naturally thin out at puberty.  Most people tell me though that it will worsen.  Just wondered how you ended up dealing with your daughters problems (if you did anything at all).  Both my two girls seem to have started growing all this extra hair just after they turned 4.  I really hope it doesnt get much worse as I dont know how I will deal with it for them.  

 

Would love to hear from you about this.

 

Many thanks

 

:) 

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