when did you or will you allow ear piercing - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-22-2010, 03:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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At what age did you or will you allow ear piercing? Or do you allow it at all?
DD is 3 and begging me to let her do it. I told her no because we don't have the money for it (which is true) but it raised the question of when WILL we allow it?
My mom made me wait until I was 6, My best friend had to wait until 18 and my sister did her baby's at 6 weeks. So I have seen a lot of variation on what is considered 'acceptable'.

So when did you allow it and how did it go?

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Old 08-22-2010, 03:28 PM
 
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My dd had hers done at age six. She wanted them done for a while and she knew it would feel like a shot and what a shot feels like so I let her do it.
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Old 08-22-2010, 03:28 PM
 
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DD was 2.5 when we got hers done. She asked consistently for more than six months. They were pierced one at a time and it was so important to her that she sat still for the second one even though the first one really hurt.

The only problem we've had is that her little brothers pulled on one pretty hard and did some damage. It has since healed up and she is very protective of them now. Same thing happened to me, but I was 14 years old!

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Old 08-22-2010, 03:29 PM
 
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I let dd1 get hers done at 6, because that's when I had mine done. In retrospect, I should have waited a couple more years with her. It was a hassle to get her to clean them properly, and now they're almost closed up because she took them out for awhile but refuses to let me put them back in because it hurts (they aren't closed completely, just need a sharp jab to get them through). I don't think I'd let under 6 get them done at all.
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Old 08-22-2010, 03:35 PM
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I got mine pierced when I was five, because that's when I asked for it. No problems.

My DS was ten when he asked to pierce his ear. He wore the earring for about six months before getting tired of it and taking it out. I don't know if the hole is still open or not (he's 15 now).

I disagree with piercing babies, and I think all decisions concerning modifications of a healthy body should be made by the individual. Other than that, I don't really understand the big deal that people make of it.
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Old 08-22-2010, 03:36 PM
 
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DH and I weren't allowed to get any piercings until we were 13 and we've decided that sounds like a pretty good age to let our children do it (whatever nonsexual piercing). We know we don't want it done at some gun place, we'd like to have it done by a professional piercer. We spoke with our piercer about it and he said he doesn't really like to do kids under 10. . .he wants them to give consent and be able to clean/care for their piercings.

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Old 08-22-2010, 03:38 PM
 
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I had mine pierced at 9, wore earrings semi-regularly for about 5 years after that and then basically never since then. If my DD is asking to have it done, I will take her to get them pierced when she gets her first period. So far she hasn't asked and she's 5 1/2. I hope she decides not to bother.

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Old 08-22-2010, 03:53 PM
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I want to wait until DD can care for her ears herself. She's a responsible kid, but she's only 3... I had to really clean mine regularly as a kid, and be careful about my high end posts, etc. I'm thinking it could be a really nice way to commemorate turning 10, double digits, and all But she'll probably get glasses by then so we'll be able to see how she does with taking care of something like that... I'm still flexible about the exact age, I'm not saying anything definite to her yet.

I do see other 3yos with earrings, which DD thinks is AWESOME but I worry about them getting caught, or poking her while she sleeps, etc. Just seems a hassle. I'm sure we can find some over the ear pretend ones if she starts asking for them...
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Old 08-22-2010, 04:01 PM
 
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We've told our daughter 13-- it seems like a nice way to celebrate becoming a teen, if that's what she wants.

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Old 08-22-2010, 04:02 PM
 
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dd was begging since she was 2. at 3 i took her and asked her to talk to the person in hte shop (yeah i know).

when dd showed understanding about the pain and how to take care of her ears i went ahead and did it. i think she was either 3 1/2 or 4.

oh my poor baby. i think that was the first time she has ever discovered purposeful intense pain. her face turned red and she wept silently for a while. then she wiped her tears, sat up and said she was ready for the next ear.

i was sooo glad she got to pierce her ears. she looooooooooooves earrings. she loves tossing her head and watching her earrings twinkle. she still does. i watch her sometimes lost in thought playing with her earrings.

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Old 08-22-2010, 04:02 PM
 
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DD had hers done at about age 5.5 It was just the start of the summer before she started school- so they were pretty wll healed before she started school. She had been asking consistently for a while at that point.

I still help her with them at 8.5, but she's very responsible about them- she just asks for help getting a new pair in because she's not great at feeling where the hole is. If I made her wait until she had that awareness though- she'd be at least 30. Cleaning etc she can do alone.
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Old 08-22-2010, 04:12 PM
 
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Right around DD's 3rd birthday. She had been begging for more than 6 mos. at that point, so we took her. No regrets.

She was aware of the pain, and didn't even cry - though, she said yes, it hurt.

I know a lot of people say wait until they can clean them and take care of them, but really, all you have to do is swipe them a couple times a day and turn them. It's not a big deal, and takes all of a couple minutes total. At 3, my DD could help with it - but it wasn't a pain in my butt, or anything, to do it with/for her. And it only lasted for a few weeks, b/c they healed and didn't have to be messed with after that.

I agree with 2xy that piercing babies is inappropriate, but that once they can consent, it's not a big deal.

(OASN, at 9, my DD doesn't wear earrings, but I'm glad I let her have them done when she asked and understood what all it entailed. I saw no reason to set an arbitrary age limit, like my mom did.)

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Old 08-22-2010, 04:20 PM
 
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i wil be the one doing piercing as i refuse to use gun and you have to be 16 to enter a tattoo parlor. i think a gift for first moon would be lovely. probably 13-14 for the boys as well. i did dh's ears last year
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Old 08-22-2010, 05:31 PM
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My son's ear was pierced at a tattoo parlor. It's not illegal for minors to merely be present in a tattoo parlor. That's just "store policy". I went in and asked if they would pierce a 10yo's ear, and they made me an appointment. And most tattoo joints around here say that nobody under 18 is allowed in. That's mostly to deter people from bringing their toddlers in to run around while people are getting worked on. Sort of like how it's not illegal for a kid to enter a bar, but most bar owners don't allow kids into their private business. It's to cover their butts.

Anyway, my point is that a piercer who works at a tattoo parlor might very well do your child's ears for you.
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Old 08-22-2010, 05:37 PM
 
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I had both my girls done at 3 months.. And they were done with proper piercing tools. At a piercing place..
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Old 08-22-2010, 05:48 PM
 
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When they can take care of them on their own and they ask for them.

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Old 08-22-2010, 05:52 PM
 
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I think my dd was 7 when she asked, and I thought she'd be able to keep them clean, so I let her get them. And she did keep them clean.
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Old 08-22-2010, 05:59 PM
 
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13 or 14. I know that pediatricians around here will pierce baby's ears so I imagine they will pierce teenage ears, too. I think I would feel pretty good about that, or maybe at a tattoo parlor, definitely not at a mall store or anything like that.
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Old 08-22-2010, 06:02 PM
 
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I was going to wait until dd got her period, but she has been asking pretty consistently for about 3 years now (she's 8).

Right now it is her big reward as part of a behavior mod program so we'll see when she gets it done.

I don't agree with piercing babies - they should have the choice about their own bodies. And dd's pediatrician does it so we'll be getting it done there.
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Old 08-22-2010, 06:03 PM
 
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For us it's age 13. My dd is 14 now and we made a day of it-went shopping, out to lunch, picked out cute earrings, got her ears pierced. The biggest thing for me is yes, caring for it herself. I have enough to worry about. Sure it's not a huge deal to swipe the front and back each night, but really, it's also not a big deal to not have to worry about it either. So, 13 it is.

Really though, I don't think she's worn earrings in forever, I am not even sure that they are still open. I don't wear earrngs much either, because I seem to have developed a sensitivity and pretty much anything I put in my ears now irritates them. Not sure if dd has the same thing or not, but she's an athelete and as such, can't wear them to practice or games anyway so she just doesn't wear anything.
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Old 08-22-2010, 06:13 PM
 
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To me, permanently altering the body is something that women do. When dd gets her period, we'll celebrate with ear piercing... if she remembers.

When she was about 4 and 5, she asked about it a lot, then it totally dropped off of her radar. She hasn't even mentioned it for a couple of years now.
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Old 08-22-2010, 06:14 PM
 
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well im planning on having my DD done as an infant. My pediatrician actually does them in office and I think the min. age is 3mo (which co insides with a vacc.) so i'll have to check with them since we dont do vaccs. when I can have them done in the office.
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Old 08-22-2010, 06:26 PM
 
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I had dd's done at 3 months.
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Old 08-22-2010, 07:25 PM
 
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For me, it depends on the kid, how much they ask, how mature about it they are at the time, etc., although I tend to think I will be more on the side of older than younger. I have a nickel allergy and sensitive skin, and it would not surprise me if my kids also do, so caring for the piercings and making sure I had high quality jewelry was/is important. None of my kids have asked (baby too young to ask), but I figure if they consistently ask for a few months, know what is involved, are willing to help care for them and not lose them, we'll consider it at that point. So no specific age, just depends on kid and circumstances.

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Old 08-22-2010, 07:55 PM
 
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I have 13 piercings so I'm not against them at all. That being said, I won't allow them until they can be done by a reputable piercer with surgical-grade jewelry and when my child(ren) can care for the piercing themselves. And they will not be done with a piercing gun.

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Old 08-22-2010, 08:47 PM
 
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I think permanently altering a child's body without their permission or informed consent is not something I am comfortable with.

I would never alter a baby nor would I allow a child to make the decision to alter their body. And, for me, piercing is altering. I know families do it and I'm not judging those who make other decisions but for my children, that's how I feel.

I think, depending upon the child, usually by 13 they are able to make that decision.
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Old 08-22-2010, 10:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharlla View Post
i wil be the one doing piercing as i refuse to use gun and you have to be 16 to enter a tattoo parlor. i think a gift for first moon would be lovely. probably 13-14 for the boys as well. i did dh's ears last year
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I think that's a cool idea. Except, I didn't get mine till I was 14, almost 15, so if it takes her a while like it did for me it might seem unfair.

I really like the idea of maybe 10 for double digit celebration or 13 for teenager celebration.

May I ask what the deal with guns being bad is? I seriously know nothing about piercings, so I am wondering. How else is it done? I am considering getting my belly button pierced in a few months (when I get the rest of my baby belly flab off), so I am wondering for me as well.

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Old 08-23-2010, 01:28 AM
 
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When she's old enough to care them herself -- for my daughter that will probably be about age 10.

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Old 08-23-2010, 03:20 AM
 
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She can get any piercing she wants when she's old enough that a good studio will be willing to do it (so 12 or 13 I think is what most piercers say?). No malls, no guns.

She'd also have to pay for it herself or wait until her next birthday or Yule. She's terrified of piercings though, so I don't see this happening anytime soon.

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Old 08-23-2010, 10:57 AM
 
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My step-daughter had her's done at 6 (by her mother against her father's wishes) and that was definitely too young IMO. She didn't take care of them at all, they were infected every other week and they ended up closing after she just was tired of the infections and took them out. Of course, Mom didn't help with them and expecting a 6 year old to take care of them, I think, was expecting a little too much.

My daughter has absolutely no interest in them... I even asked her a few minutes ago if she wanted her ears pierced and she covered her ears and yelled "No!" (she's almost 4) so I don't think we have to worry about that for awhile... I'm thinking along the lines of 12 if she ever decides she wants them. I think, personally, I would be comfortable at a younger age but Daddy is big on not letting his little girls grow up too fast so we've agreed on 12, for now. I'm not going to push the issue with her though so if she never says she wants to, I won't say anything either. And definitely would have my SIL, who is a professional piercer do it with a needle.

And to the PP asking about guns, the problem with them is that they are rarely sterile... Blood and puss are constantly squirted on to all the moving parts of the guns and it's almost impossible to get them fully clean and almost always causes infections. Most employees using the gun are not properly educated on piercing, infection and healing. Also, because the way a gun works, it can cause serious tissue damage because it forces a blunt stud through the ear, actually ripping the tissue, instead of piercing it which in turn is a higher risk of infection as well. At a professional piercer, you also get jewelry that is specifically designed to aid the healing process and are less likely to cause an allergic reaction or infection. HTH!

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